S5 E20 - 3/26/2022

S5E20 - Nathan

Nathan is 19 and lives in Columbia. He's taking a break after high school and focusing on art and design. We talk about his experiences with misophonia in Columbia, fried food, and his plans for the future. Nathan also triggers himself a lot so that is an interesting aspect that comes up occasionally in episodes. I have links to all of Nathan’s accounts and his store below.


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Disclaimer: These are machine-generated transcripts and so are not completely accurate. However they will be manually updated over time until they are.

[00:00:00] Adeel: Nathan, welcome to the podcast. Good to have you here.

[00:00:02] Nathan: Thank you for having me. I was really excited.

[00:00:05] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah, why don't you tell me. A bit about Yeah. Whereabouts you are and what

[00:00:10] Nathan: you do. I'm 19. I live in Colombia and like I'm from here.

. And at the moment I'm a freelancer, designer, whatever comes up. Yeah. I'm not studying or really working , I'm just doing my thing and assist.

[00:00:26] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. So you're 19, you finished you finished high school and you just went out and you're freelancing as a designer, and how's it going? Are you what is, some people go to college, some people maybe take an office job. Did you decide that hey, I want to go on my own because maybe there's some misophonia basis for that, or just the way things shook out for. ?

[00:00:46] Nathan: A little bit of both.

I knew I wanted to take some time after high school. Okay. For sure, because they finished it like last year. In, June. So there was still a lot of like limbo with the with the pandemic, where things were opening up, but, A hundred, not really percent. And in my country, there were still like regulations about they would use like the last name, the last number of your ip.

. And they would use it as okay, so this day you can go into stores in these other states you can't. Oh, I see. Yeah. So there they were still like, yeah, you can't go out, but there's so many regulations. I was like, I don't feel like going to. College or university right in this moment.

[00:01:31] Adeel: Yeah. Not a bad time to take a gap year between college and and high school. Yeah. And how was and how was high school, the high school experience overall?

[00:01:42] Nathan: Oh, I hated it. , honestly. Yeah. I was, I, I. For, I think almost my whole like primary and secondary school, cuz here it doesn't divide you like there's no different schools for let's say first grade to sixth grade and then that a full on school and you can study in the same one since school is going to 11th. So every

[00:02:08] Adeel: school is a full school? Full. Yeah. Yes. Like you start, and you don't leave until you go to, until you graduate from high school. I see.

[00:02:15] Nathan: Yeah, exactly. So I was on the same school, I think since, yeah, since the, my last year of kindergarten until eighth grade.

because from sixth grade everything was going awful with lot of depression and anxiety and also like identity itself. Like it was just that age. , but it interfered a lot with yeah, with how I was doing academically. So I ended up switching to another. that I liked a lot more, but I was still struggling.

So even though I felt more at home at that other place it, I still did so bad that it made no sense staying there. And we ended up looking if there was like a, another way I could go to school that didn't meant physically . Yeah. Because like now looking back, I. There was a lot of sensory overload for me, apart from all the mental health, the issues.

, also just realized like I cannot go into a classroom and have someone. Like passing the page and listening to that, a thousand times louder, and then someone clicking their pen on the other side. And there was so many things going on. I was like I'm not doing well, and this is not helping at all.

Yeah. They ended up switching to online, online school. And I immediately like that immediately, just. a thousand times better, like my grades and my everything. Just did yeah, like much, much better. And I stopped hating the idea of school so much. I was like, okay, now that I know that I can study and do the same thing, but in they come from my, of my.

and if I want to play music in the background, I can. Or if I just want it to be completely silent, which doesn't tend to be the case , right? I can do that. Like I can just decide it. Or if I'm feeling like I'm not, like I, I don't think I can do this today, so I'm not in know what to write an essay, then I can, I can't decide to take that.

So it felt really liberating in, in that way where it didn't feel like taking care of my needs to pay attention would interrupt the needs of other people. Cuz again Gotcha. I didn't want to hear of the paper when I turn the page, I could just have. and I wouldn't hear it.

[00:04:51] Adeel: Or, so you're you're bothered even by your own pitch turning.

Yes. , yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:57] Nathan: Will you Bothered by my own chewing.

[00:05:00] Adeel: Okay. A lot of times. Oh, really? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Does it give you problems like when you're going to sleep or anything too, like breathing sounds?

[00:05:08] Nathan: Breathing, not so much. Okay. That's good. But I feel like, yeah, I feel like all other. Yeah. That are not noticeable the rest of the day, especially because of the area I live in.

Other times that I would never notice at night where it's, everything's so silent. I'm like, oh, that makes sound like that. But this is a noise I hate. Wow. I hate it.

[00:05:33] Adeel: Yeah. Is it chewing pretty often? Like your own sounds that you make? Or is it just, certain foods maybe are

[00:05:39] Nathan: I would say certain.

Because it's similar with other people like I am. I don't tend to eat with my family even not even before I, I realized wow, I don't to hear people true or how spoons and things like that sound when they hid when they hit a plate. We just never, like in my house, we really never got used to eating together.

We like, we've always, I've lived always with my mom and my brother. Yeah. And we've always just, when we wanted to eat, we would just serve some food and go to a room, send it there, .

[00:06:16] Adeel: Gotcha. There's just like normal. Yeah. Any of your family members have sensitivities too. I'm just curious if that maybe wasn't just your decision.

[00:06:24] Nathan: .

I feel like it wasn't a decision

[00:06:26] Adeel: really. No. Yeah. It just, it was just culture

[00:06:28] Nathan: at your house kind. Yeah. Yeah. And no, and not even culture. Cuz here people do it together because, no, I meant I didn't mean, I struggle when I go to my grand grandfather's house where I'm like, yeah. Oh he does feel like he's rude if I don't go and eat, have lunch or dinner with them at the table.

Yeah. But yeah, my house, I don't know, we just I guess we didn't like it or we didn't really Yeah. See a sense. And I'm really picky with food, so sometimes my food would take longer to my mom would take longer to make my food or I would make myself something different. And, We just had our own thing, so we.

Decided to go sit on the table together. We just I'm hungry at this time of the day, so I'm gonna eat right this time of the day. ,

[00:07:16] Adeel: does your family know that you have misophonia?

[00:07:18] Nathan: My mom does. Okay. Because I still live with her. But my brother have hinted. Especially posting, let's say, like things on my Instagram story that I know he's gonna see.

Like I know it. I can't just post him to see like he gets the hint. But because I don't live with him anymore, and I realized recently, I've never really gotten to sit down with him and be like, yeah I realize I, I'm not like, that just irritated by, I don't know, that noise. Things like, like I'm genuinely like angered or I feel anxious about specific noises and specific patterns.

And yeah, like I, I felt I've done it with people I know I'm going to be around a lot with and my brother just left at that. So I never got to sit with him and tell him like, you're doing this on it. That is really bothering .

[00:08:19] Adeel: Yeah. You figured it. Yeah. You're not gonna see him as often anymore if you're

[00:08:21] Nathan: not gonna leave him.

So what's the point it doesn't make. Yeah. But my mom does my, and I What

[00:08:27] Adeel: did she say when you told her? Or how did you tell her?

[00:08:30] Nathan: I, she was quite curious about it. Yeah, I told her like, yeah, I found out this thing and I was just curious about it. Cuz I, I tend to do that. I tend to find like a topic, just a topic.

And I end up reading a bunch about it and I tell her later Hey, I found this and that, so was throwing what I always do with . Yeah. Stuff with new stuff I found and I was gonna tell you about it. , cashflow thing. And then the more I read, the more I realized that it felt like it was describing me.

[00:09:02] Adeel: Yeah. Had you been diagnosed with other things in the past? I know things like OCD or anxiety and a d, things like that, or was this kind of that first one of your first mental health sounds like you, it's been a, maybe a maybe, it's not like maybe you've had other experie.

[00:09:19] Nathan: No I was already diagnosed and I think at, around when I was 14, 14, 15 maybe. With depression. , and gender dysphoria. And from there, yeah. Especially with the depression, the most of. different doctors. We went to, they were like I don't think you have O c D, but you do have a lot of like personality traits.

So it doesn't interrupt your life like O C D A does, but you do have a lot of traits that could be maybe that misdiagnose that. So be careful. if if someone, if you go to someone and they diagnose you with o c D, cuz if it is not making your life harder, then it is just your personality.

[00:10:07] Adeel: Gotcha. And did you ever bring up sound issues with them?

[00:10:09] Nathan: I think I didn't, I think. , I did bring up. Feeling overwhelmed. Yeah. Like sensory of Yeah. In a sensory weight. But yeah, because I was diagnosed so young and I got to also, I got to trial of antidepressants, I think three or four, that at the time the focus was that.

, the focus was okay. You have greatest severe depression, also very young, so we have to treat this as soon as possible and we have to make sure you're learn how to cope with it right now. So later in life it doesn't get as hard to change things. To, to make it easier for you. So yeah, I think at, again, at that point I never, I just, at that point, everything was really, Heavy

Yeah. Yeah. So I think I didn't realize that sound was one of those things and that it was like this specific sounds and this other note, I'd like it to me, just everything was so much all the time. So I never brought it up. And that's, I think that's why I realized more recently because.

Yeah, I've gotten much better. I'm on medication. I've done quite enough therapy to feel better, so I have time to look back on the things that I've realized that haven't gotten better. So okay, now I can go into the more specifics, and I realize a sound is one of those.

[00:11:41] Adeel: Yeah. I was gonna ask yeah did the other feelings of sensory overload get better and then you were left with misophonia.

I'm curious where kind of misophonia sits in relation to the other things you're feeling or dealing with?

[00:11:54] Nathan: Yeah I think that's what I've been looked into it in the first place, cuz. Yes. I always thought I was just like very sensitive and like irritable again because of depression and because I was a teenager, . I was like I'm just and because everyone tells me that you're just in the age where you hate everything. I was like I don't hate everything. It's just this, I just feel overwhelmed. And yeah, a lot of things, people are touching me. or hugging me.

, that is still a thing. But I've learned how to, like where I'm more comfortable and where like I can okay. Maybe hug someone that I don't know, but not feel like I'm gonna die . I'm getting the plague or something. Like I realize I can manage it. much better, even if I'm still a bit touchy but no pun intended touchy about people touching me.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, all the other, again, like all that Overwhelmness just has left mostly, and so it felt like that was new, but , not really. I just was. That that, yeah. That it wasn't just depression or being a teenager, that this, there's just these noises that it feels like I can't, that they still feel that overwhelming.

Yeah. And it didn't stop.

[00:13:21] Adeel: And wh what, how did that when did you, do you remember when you roughly, when you first started hear getting sensitive to noise in particular? Was it an at home? With family members, like it often is or was it a different path?

[00:13:33] Nathan: I think, funny enough, it was when all this craze began with ASMR that everyone suddenly, everything on YouTube was as YouTuber and everyone was like, oh my God, I found this and it helps me sleep, or it helps me relax, and stuff like that.

and because the internet just end up like introduced to the content wanted or not. And yeah, so because everywhere you went on the internet, there was some form of ASMR content, video, whatever, and I heard, I was like, oh, why do people like this? So much. This is, yeah. Disgusting. This sounds awful.

Yeah. And thought I just hated a m r. And, yeah, I think I, I slowly started realizing that other noises would cause me that same reaction, right? Not so much that someone made them. And I realized , like I. It was the same reaction that I got when I heard people really close to the microphone chewing or breathing or like clicking stuff.

And I was like, okay, so this is, I'm getting the same feeling. It's not just this videos or the fact that it's to a microphone. It's just that noise that is causing that.

[00:15:00] Adeel: So you're able to when it's ASMR videos, you're able to just avoid them, hopefully , eventually online. Yeah. But in real life, how were you dealing with it by just reacting?

Like how did that how, yeah, how were you how are you reacting to it, to sounds in now in real life?

[00:15:15] Nathan: , the, for, I think the, that. Sphere, maybe. Again, even I connected the dots of, okay, nowadays Mars, this noises, I still felt like maybe I was being like, sensitive to them or that I was in a bad mood and that's why they were making me feel Yeah. Like very angry. That's the thing. It tends to trigger anger on me. , I don't really, sometimes I do feel like very anxious, but most of the time it's anger. And so yeah, I thought maybe I'm just in a bad mood and or I'm being sensitive even though I was connecting the dots.

So I would, yeah, I would just react and I think again, a bit inside of the instant trace. I. Watching a livestream and it was a game theory. I don't know if you know that channel, but it was like a, it's the guy from Game Theory and Okay. His wife and they were gonna do like one of the dumb challenges and I was just like, yeah.

Fun video. and before they start, they mentioned that his wife Steph has misophonia so that they know that's gonna that was gonna be hard for her because they were gonna try and play like a, some more videos and c ooh. Which ones got her? And I was like, Okay. that that's a word. And I just, yeah.

I just at that, when I first saw it, I was like, I didn't think much about it. I was like, oh, she has something and she doesn't like this more because of that. And I did, for some reason, I didn't connect it to me . But then they play I think it was like someone eating fish or something like that.

. And again, like I wasn't aware that was gonna. that was gonna have the same reaction as her, but I almost had the same reaction when she was about to throw up. And at the, and while I was watching that, I also felt like I was gonna throw from hearing, I wasn't even looking. I was just hearing at it.

Yeah. So I rewind it because I was like she's having kind of the same reaction says as me. I see her and I'm like, whoa. Like someone's feeling the same with the very similar sounds. So I rewind it to when they say that she has misophonia and I started looking it up.

. And that's when I'm like, okay, that's Oh, interesting. Again, not connecting the dots until I read more and I realized, yeah, this is me. And her reaction was also me. And from there, like I, I think I realized well, , I can maybe look for noises that cancel these other ones out or like a, which fidget maybe.

And I'm really, I was really used to wearing headphones anyways, so I just thought that as like an opportunity, like will people around me are used to me always having headphones. , someone's gonna take advantage of that, and I'm gonna try and maybe find music or noises or something else that counts us out when someone or something is creating a noise.

So I can not react as I Yeah. Have been on the past.

[00:18:42] Adeel: So yeah, you're one of your big coping mechanisms, like many of us is headphones, earbuds, and just a bunch of sounds. Two mask over things.

[00:18:50] Nathan: Yeah. Yeah. And funny enough, like these fidget toys that a lot of people were just like, yeah, fid, they were fun.

I also have, I have three, and I also buy them, bought them because they were fun, . And then I realized, wait, this is relaxing ,

[00:19:05] Adeel: is it relaxing or does it like distract you from the sound or just the repetitive motion is something that you're controlling maybe?

[00:19:13] Nathan: Interesting. Yeah.

Maybe it's because just all above , , I would say it's mostly that, first of all, like distracting because Yeah, because my hands are doing something, so that helps me I feel like that helps me release whatever feeling through my hands. So it's, yeah, it feels mostly, yeah, distracting me to spin something or with these new ones or I forgot how they're called.

This, like pop thingies, okay. Yeah. I don't remember the bubble pop thingies. Uhhuh, I think I hear those . That ones, those ones are also real nice and it is find myself just popping them and again, distracting the rest of my body. Yeah, sure. On it.

[00:20:00] Adeel: Gotcha. Okay. Okay.

Interesting. And other than your mom, have you told anybody about misophonia in your family or anywhere around or therapists over there in Columbia?

[00:20:09] Nathan: I think I realized when I wasn't going to therapist anymore, I, lately I've been wanted to also see that with a professional because even though like you say, Most of us find a way to just go with it without going to anyone. With, yeah, with this kind of obvious ways of headphones or fidgety toys. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it would also help to have someone that's a professional, maybe help me or maybe even see if they know. Because, yeah, I'd be

[00:20:38] Adeel: curious to know if somebody in Colombia, like how well known it is in Colombia.

[00:20:43] Nathan: Yeah. Because if it's hard to find professionals that nobody in the US it's hard enough. Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine here they have no clue what I've been talking about.

Yeah. I can't have a Spanish translation, which is a good stuff. Sometimes you find things that don't even have a word in Spanish. because that's how none they are. But it does have a Spanish force. So that kind of relaxes me that, okay, at least the Spanish speaking community, even if it's just in Spain or Mexico or maybe a bigger country, at least they know that, right?

That's like a thing, but. But yeah, I've been meaning to maybe go to someone like a professional, but professional that yeah, I just tell people that yeah, I'm gonna live with, are gonna be around with a lot. Like my, yeah. What do you tell 'em? Do you tell my boyfriend? Huh. I just don't like, Hey, I have this thing call Mr.

And you like I don't just shut the hell up. I don't think you even noted, but I'm gonna resume it as a lot of times I'm really annoying, so if I lash out at you, which is very probable, it's because you're making a noise. But then I'll apologize because I'll feel bad and I'll tell you very politely this time that you were doing annoying.

Right. Yeah. I'll tell you again, but this time without making you feel bad

[00:22:05] Adeel: about it, how do people react when you do lash out and throw glares or say something?

[00:22:10] Nathan: I think gladly, I haven't had a situation with my partner I was able to very calmly just realize I should tell him this.

Just in. And I told him in a very calm, no, because the trigger happened, just letting you know. But with my little sister, I did have to explain it to her like right after I lashed out and told her to shut the fuck. How old is she? And then I realized oh no, she's eight.

Yeah. So I really like, oh God, , what have I done? And then I, of course I apologized to her and for my mom and I was like, I'm sorry. And my mom like for my walk, my mom helped me explaining to her. , it's not that you're being annoying, it's that you're making this sound and that sound is very distressing and Depends on her mood.

She kind of remembers and doesn't do it, or she remembers and does it on purpose? ?

[00:23:06] Adeel: Oh, yeah. Okay.

[00:23:07] Nathan: Okay. Because again, she's a little, she's a little child I know she's not doing it to be rude more because she's my sister and she finds it funny to annoy me. And doesn't. Like the actual anxiety or like the stress that it could cause.

, she just says ha, that's an annoying thing I can do. ,

[00:23:27] Adeel: do you know anybody else who has this phone? Like in real life? I

[00:23:30] Nathan: know. Online. Okay. No, online. Yeah. But I think not. Yeah, I think I haven't cancer before of. People chewing is annoying. It's no, but yeah.

You're talking about people chewing with their mouth open. I'm talking about chewing.

[00:23:46] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Even the quietest chewing .

[00:23:49] Nathan: Yeah. Like sometimes to put it on their perspective, I told them I, I hate my own crunchy chewing. , that's what I mean when I hate chewing.

I mean it as, I even hate my. Chewing and they're like, oh, okay. Because yeah, because they see it as what we were just saying, that annoying signs are annoying. No, it is not as simple

[00:24:12] Adeel: as that. Do you do anything when you're eating to help your, help you not trigger yourself? Like maybe certain foods that you won't eat or certain food that you'll

[00:24:20] Nathan: definitely eat?

The things that here most foods are. We like making fried foods . So that means for some reason crunchy. So they tend to be Yeah, the crunch ones. I'm not gonna stop eating them because Really good . Yeah. Yeah. But I tend to avoid eating them like in inside places or like when I'm alone.

Like they say something as simple as like a cereal. I would not eat at my cereal until I've sit, like sitting down here on. All my headphones played, I don't know, a music, a video, a podcast, something. And then I start eating because I've tried being like no, I can do it without that.

And I take one bite and I notice I, without really thinking about it, I noticed that I started trying to chew really softly, , . And when I like the, that's of course not gonna work. If I try chewing like really softly. The tiny. Yeah. So I just, I don't just put on headphones or maybe if I'm outside, sometimes I, when I eat outside not in a restaurant, but in like in the street when you buy like street food, right?

Because there's so much noise. I don't tend to notice my, like my trip, there's cars

[00:25:34] Adeel: and whatever. Lot white noise and background noise. Yeah.

[00:25:39] Nathan: Yeah. And I also tend to wear like ear whats went outside. So yeah. I. I find that, funny enough, the, when there's the most sounds is when I can't ignore. Yeah. The eating the crunchy eating, especially your own crunchiness.

Yeah. Or like other people. But I get people, I don't tend to eat with other people. Ever

[00:26:01] Adeel: with your partner, do you eat, do you both eat together

[00:26:05] Nathan: or No I mean we, because we have never lived together it just like visits. I think, yeah, sometimes eating in for me, but I remember that when I told him, he was like I'm really used to eating softly.

And he's not wrong because again, I've never noticed his eating. That's good.

[00:26:25] Adeel: That's good.

[00:26:26] Nathan: Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, I think I realized he is right. I've never noticed. Yeah. When he's like, when he sitting in front of me or around me and yeah, I, I think I would have remembered him eating maybe something crunchy or like that because it would be ingrained in my memory.

Yes. Awful . But yeah, I think he never did. I do have a struggle. I go a lot on disc or on voice chats. And I've got in this very basically every night even I go with the same group of friends and just chat, I don't know, around five hours maybe. Wow. And yeah, like we're just, because we all go from like school or work or existing we kinda want to chat with each other and be dumb for a little bit. And yeah, because I spend so many, so much time with them in a format that is only audio, where I'm mostly just hearing them. Yeah, I have to, I, I remember I had to tell them like, Hey I had this thing, some noises annoying me and I did it because one of them has a keyboard.

Oh yeah. Like those mechanical keyboards. And those are probably one of my most awful triggers. I don't even have a mechanical keyboard. It specifically bought one that is a silent one, . Because of that, because of how much, I hate the sound of keyboards and her keyboard is exactly the opposite.

It does it is so noisy. She'll be, we'll be on like chatting and she'll be writing like a story. I think she, she likes to write. So she will be writing while being on the And I couldn't pay attention to the other ones because I would just hear the right and very fast also. So I at one point instead of just muting her and every time someone said something to her or muting her , I realize this is, it's more productive if I just tell them.

Then I had a. Most of them were really receptive. They were really like, okay, like they're trying to be like, okay, what can we avoid? One of them tried playing ASMR to see if it was real. I don't know why No. And I was like, Justin, it was just shut up.

[00:28:46] Adeel: Yeah, exactly.

[00:28:48] Nathan: Like I'll make someone sign a paper if you want to stop. and another friend got extremely curious immediately, like not just as trying to see what noises he shouldn't be doing, but he just wanted to know. Like he was asking me every single noise he could imagine, and excuse me, would that annoy you?

And I was like, no, I don't think since. Okay, but then would they annoy you? And I was like, yeah. At the , he's but those ones are really similar around me. Yeah. But my. likes one and the other. And not the other . So I can't appreciate it that I don't know about other people with Misho, but I appreciate what fucking, really curious about it.

And, yeah. Very like a child.

[00:29:32] Adeel: A lot of people just dismiss it, so it's. It's good to at least have people if, as long as they're not being mean about it, that they're asking questions cuz that's gets the word around. What do you hope to do in the future? You hope to build a graphic design business or cuz yeah.

This is when a lot of us started thinking about Ooh, e where do I wanna work? Do I want to be around tons of other people? ,

[00:29:53] Nathan: I want to work on the movie industry. But I feel like it's because no, of course not only because I love movies. I've loved them since like ever, and I just love art and movies have always been one of the ways.

Sit down after, again, being overwhelmed or, yeah, or feeling like everything is just chaos. I'm just sitting down and looking at a story and it's all pretty and . It's all like really dramatic and you're into it. I've liked the side of the production of movies and funny enough how much attention they paid to making the.

So I feel like even of course I wouldn't, I probably would never work on the like, sound department ever cuz I would just end up deleting noises that are supposed to be there, . Yeah, I've never found. Being triggered in one of those settings? In a recording or a or like a casting or modeling kind of stuff.

. Like I've never heard don't know, like the clicking of a camera, that kind of things that tend to be on a studio. Never found it annoying. So I've realized I will, I can, for my luck I like something that does not make me want to take my ears off .

[00:31:10] Adeel: Okay. So yeah, maybe you, there's a promising path there and yeah.

Film production or video production or something. Yeah, that sounds, yeah, that sounds interesting. And maybe you can slip in a little message about misophonia in some of your, one, the productions you're. Yeah, so we're, yeah, we're about I don't know. Yeah, we're about 40, 40 minutes in.

Yeah, 40. Just curious. Yeah, if you have any yeah. Anything else you want to share with people that, maybe are specific to your experience with misophonia that you think people haven't heard before? Or just, yeah, just anything you wanna say really, ,

[00:31:39] Nathan: Maybe commendation, because I realized.

It's very, even if there's always gonna be people that are gonna react either but like making fun of nor of or not delivering it a lot of times you find that people, even if they don't understand it or can't put themselves a hundred percent of your shoes. They do try, they do immediately try to not trigger you.

So I found. Yeah, even sometimes, and sometimes it feels don't wanna tell people we, because yeah, maybe we feel like, oh, they're gonna think I'm like crazy or that I have anger issues or something like that. It is normal to be afraid of people judging you. I feel like it's always better to be in an environment where you can't tell people.

and if they accidentally make it trigger sound, they know and they realize oops. And , try and stop it. And if someone's gonna make fun of it that's really fucked up . Yeah. So it makes no, yeah I know it can be yeah. Hard and would be more likely to feel like you have to tell people, but . Yeah. Sometimes it's just better to let people know someone can be an asshole about it. That's the problem. This they're the assholes. You're just trying to live your life . So yeah, I, I found I think that should be something that.

like the community should have more into account. Like we can just tell people and if they wanna be as home, that's their own, that's their own issue. But most people are gonna try to, to not trigger us. Cuz Yeah, cuz they realize, like there, most of the times you end up telling people because you lash out of.

So they've rights, they've seen that it real, you're forced to . Yeah. Yeah. So they've seen that it's real, that you're not acting up, you're not like pretending, you're not trying to gain, I don't know, like simple as points. Like you genuinely had a reaction out of it. They're probably gonna be like, oh, so they weren't being mean.

They I, they cannot control their, like how they feel about this noise that I made and they're gonna. So yeah, I that, that's what I what I want to live with. Yeah. No, it's a little bit of yeah. I was like, okay. Sometimes you feel crazy, but it's just it just ends up being better since of being easier and.

And at the end of the day, you always have headphones, , that you can put in and Right. and ignore everyone

[00:34:14] Adeel: around. No, that's all, yeah, that's exactly what I think a lot of us end up thinking is yeah, we have headphones with a backup and, , try to tell people if it's If it's necessary, like you decided with your brother, wasn't quite necessary just yet to tell him, because you're not gonna be around him that often anymore.

. And then and then, yeah, I think we're all aware that, the you never know who's gonna you gotta think about who's gonna react favorably and who's gonna just make fun of it. And then is it worth bringing it up?

[00:34:39] Nathan: Yeah. Yeah. It's either is worth bringing it up and if I bring it up, and I think this person's.

react well, and they don't, so yeah. Again, do as like with someone that doesn't know because they're pretending that's not real. So it's like like if they didn't know and just, yeah. Keep coping yeah. I feel that we're going in a good direction where there's more studies about it and there's slowly like communities and stores even.

And just yeah. Where we're a lot of people are realizing by themselves, so they're, we are joining as other people have it and we're creating, things that help us or things that already exist. And feeling yeah, I found that this helps me, so I'm gonna share it with the rest of the community because it might help maybe five or 10 or a hundred of them.

Yeah. To struggle. Yeah. Again, maybe with this fidget spinners and this, the, like pop toys that they were supposed to be for more like a h d and and other types of NeuroD. But we realized that also helps misson. So yeah, I'm glad we're in that space where Yeah. Knows. Yeah, as I as said, the Misson community and that's there's other communities that have stuff that kind of help that whole realm of neuro divergency and Yeah.

In whatever way. It is so I think we're lucky. Even there's a lot. Dale and to maybe study and to understand a bit better. We are in a good place where we have things and I think it's nice to be in a place where you are also discovering how to deal with stuff because you can, again, you can share with other people and it goes from a range of very accessible things like again, Or a $5 toy Right to, yeah, to like noise canceling headphones that are $300 that hey, you can spend your time and your money on it.

That's amazing. But yeah, you have that core range and you have people that are also realiz. Maybe you can land the hand. I don't know. I think it's I like this sweet point of we already know what it is. We have some resources and we're still finding some so we are kind of part of the past for when maybe Mr.

Fu a hundred percent like culpable. Like easy to talk thing, especially with therapists or professionals and all professionals know about it, and it's not a struggle to find one that knows yeah wait. I like to say it as we're going towards that and we're helping someone live that.

and what, yeah. No,

[00:37:27] Adeel: it's, you're right. It's still early, but you're right. It's a lot better than it was like even 10, 20 years ago, especially a few decades ago when I've had some people who are over 60, over 70, even over 80, and so totally different world about anything mental health related.

[00:37:42] Nathan: Yeah, and again, we can help and like you say, sometimes you notice that Ms. Phone is, may be related to, to. Like depression or ath h d or autism or whatever, like it cant be related to anything. So yeah, we're, it feels like you're helping a lot of communities and a lot of people in different AR areas and like you said, that we're better than before and we are also in a space where it's.

Seeing as like a waste of time to work or making it even better. And yeah. I hope we can work towards, we can work like that and actually achieve that.

[00:38:22] Adeel: That's great. Yeah. That's a good positive point to end on. I wanted to, yeah. Do you have any anything you wanna promote I don't know your Instagram account for your design stuff?

I'll have links in the show notes, but, if you want to mention anything right now, feel free.

[00:38:33] Nathan: I have my red bubble. I was thinking actually going towards this, I was thinking of maybe trying to do the science. related to misophonia. Because I guess the sensitive podcast, I realized there's a lot more people than you realize.

. And yeah, I think it's always fun to, to have the times of other things that maybe have heard you. Yeah. So you can laugh at them now or you can yeah. See them as something more, more positive. Yeah. I'm trying to work on. Mental health related designs, so maybe can Yeah.

Create that. Yeah, I have my red bubble. I think the, it's a red bubble that comes slash taco cat boy with an eye instead of a y. Yeah, and I think I have the rest of my social media. It's just that the rest is not really stuff related, sure. Yeah, I have that. Oh, I have a, and I'm trying to work on maybe someone likes mythology.

So if someone funny enough likes mythology and also has misophonia, , I'm also working on that . Oh, very cool. Grading mythology related content that helps hopefully does not trigger anyone. Yeah. Anyone misophonia?

[00:39:46] Adeel: By mythology do you mean. Like myths from the past? Or is it something that yeah,

[00:39:52] Nathan: Greek yeah, of course.


[00:39:53] Adeel: North. Yeah. Have you found any evidence of misophonia in older literature like that?

[00:39:59] Nathan: Not so far. Okay. But I realized there's a lot of things that now we have a name for. A lot of mythology touches on as like a wow, fantastical, like a weird thing and I have a name for it so maybe I cross one but yeah I, yeah, I hear about it

[00:40:16] Adeel: if you

[00:40:16] Nathan: do find something.

Yeah. , I'm kinda, I kind of wanna touch and better how found that there's a lot of little details that now you will be like, Hey, I think that has a name. , . So yeah maybe someone misophonia that has some other thing also finds it in, in, in a myth. Yeah. Yeah. I think that I want to plug, I just have my re ,

[00:40:36] Adeel: my email.

I'll have links to all that. Yeah, definitely. The show notes. And if between now and when this goes lab, just shoot me an email or Oh yeah. A message. And I'll have it all included so that right now well, people are listening. , when people are listening to it, they'll be able to just go to show notes and link click on stuff.

So you got some time . Okay. Okay. , yeah. Yeah. Nathan, I wanna Yeah. Thank you for coming on and sharing your story. It's super interesting and yeah, I know it's gonna yeah, know it's gonna help a lot of people and wish you the best of luck in yeah. In your design stuff and in getting the word out in Columbia and beyond.

[00:41:08] Nathan: Yeah. Thank you very much. Not only for having me, For creating the podcast. I think it's a really nice space. It feels really, yeah, really comforting. So yeah, just so you know that you're also creating a nice space just for people that already know it. Maybe for people that don't know yet, and I hear this experiences and like I did realize hey that's exactly how I.

And it has a name. I'm glad it does. Yeah. So point. This is why to also congratulate you on that cuz a podcast doesn't seem like much, but it does spread a lot of word around and that seems to be a big help.

[00:41:48] Adeel: Thank you, Nathan. Don't forget to check out Nathan's length in the show notes for more.

If you liked this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to this podcast. You can hit me up by email@hellomisspodcast.com or go to the web, go to the website miss podcast.com. It's even easier to. Send a message on Instagram at mis podcast. Follow there, Facebook, Twitter.

If you want, you can support the show by visiting the patreonPage@patreon.com slash mis podcast. The music is always is by mobi. And until next week,

[00:42:27] Nathan: wish, peace and quiet.