S5E22 - Soledad
Soledad lives out near Milan, Italy. She is an instructor of Kundalini yoga and we talk about how that affects her misophonia reactions. She actually uses it to help people in Italy cope with misophonia. We talk about a lot more than that though. Soledad has some really wise and thoughtful things to say about how it feels, how others make us feel, and how we make others feel. A link to her website is below - it’s in Italian but you can use your browser to translate it for you.
Support the podcast on Patreon!
Download the official Misophonia Podcast app!
For iOS and Android
Podcast episodes, background sounds, a trigger journal, a panic button, and tons of resources on all things miso. Absolutely free!
Disclaimer: These are machine-generated transcripts and so are not completely accurate. However they will be manually updated over time until they are.
[00:00:00] Adeel: Sole. Welcome to the podcast. Good to have you here.
[00:00:03] Soledad: Thank you, Adeel. Thank you very much. Nice to meet you.
[00:00:07] Adeel: Yeah, nice to meet you too. Yeah, you wanna let us know where in the world you are roughly.
[00:00:12] Soledad: Okay. Right now I am in the outskirts of Milan. I live in Italy close to the, I say outskirts of Milan, just to have an idea exactly where I'm located. I'm closest to Switzerland, but yes, I'm still in, in Italy. I actually, I aminian, I grew up and I was born and I grew up in Argentina.
But I have some Italian roots. So that's why I am very connected with Italy. Oh, okay.
[00:00:42] Adeel: Great. And yeah, outside Milan, you said you you've been listening to the podcast by the beach over there. I should start asking people to send in pictures of where they listen to the podcast.
I think that'd be an interesting Oh,
[00:00:52] Soledad: yes. Post. I have some pictures actually, because while I, while I was listening to your podcast, I was actually in Rome because I have a second house there. And of course, always in. Skirts of Rome by the, not by the beach side, but close to the beach. And I always was walking and listen to your podcast.
So sometimes I stopped and have some pict pictures. And then I continue walking and listen to your podcast. So I have some pictures,
[00:01:22] Adeel: actually, . Oh yeah, if you wanna set 'em to Yeah, it's slight tangent. But yeah, if you wanna send 'em to you I'll be happy. I can even post it today and I'll try to ask other people to send theirs.
I always like to see where people are because miss Point is everywhere , and yeah, tell me maybe a little bit what, it sounds like you do some interesting things out there. You wanna tell me who tell us what your what you do for work or yeah, just Okay.
For a. just, yeah.
[00:01:42] Soledad: Oh I am actually, I'm an ex flight attendant. I was a flight attend, I worked as a flight attendant like for 15 years. Yes, that was my job. It was great as actually, it's a great job for avionic, actually. and
[00:01:58] Adeel: I wouldn't think so, buddy. Yeah, I'd love to hear about that later.
[00:02:02] Soledad: Actually it's trust me, . Okay. And yes. And then because of family reasons and because life I stopped flying I was not into flying anymore. And I had my bachelor degree in political science, actually international political sciences. And then I start practicing kini yoga, and then I become an instructor of kini yoga.
So right now, if I have to say what do I do for living, okay, I am a. Kini, you're our teacher.
[00:02:37] Adeel: Yeah. Okay. Wow. Interesting. Yeah, it's a, yeah, very interesting journey there. Yes. And the obvious question might be yoga relaxation obviously is great for misophonia and calms calming us down.
Stress is a big exacerbator. Is was that, arriving at this part of your journey in any way related to trying to deal with mis.
[00:02:57] Soledad: Actually, it didn't I didn't start practicing yoga because of misophonia. I stopped practicing goodling yoga because I was dealing with a very complicated situation in my family.
And I was really going mad even more crazy than I really was and I know I laugh, but it was a very dark times back there. And I really need something to work with my anxiety and my anger. I was really angry. I actually, because of misophonia, I think we are all very angry deep inside and we keep this anger really buried within my ourselves.
And then I guess it comes out but. Of course, this was a different situation. It was really difficult to deal with and start going for psychological meetings. Sorry, I don't, I know it's not the right term, but like a therapist yeah, exactly. I went, yeah, exactly. I went for therapist because I really didn't know how to deal with my anxiety basically because at the end of the day, it was a very high levels of extreme exci anxiety that it was really driving me crazy.
And I don't know. It all happens. I didn't have any control of what happened next. I met, I guess I met the right people and I eventually found myself practicing kling yoga and I start practicing kling yoga, and then I eventually I start noticing that without looking for changing something of my misophonia, which I, at the time I didn't even know it had a name.
I start feeling some changes. I start feeling differences. I start feeling different. So it was the beginning of my journey with the yoga. I have to say, of course, my high level of anxiety decreased noticeably. And I start dealing with my complicated situations in different ways. It is, of course, it didn't happen from morning to evening.
[00:04:57] Adeel: a process. It took a while. It was a process. Yeah. Did it. So it helped your, and that's great to hear that it helped your other anxiety. Did it did you notice the start to also affect your misophonia maybe, and like how you're able to recover from trigger.
[00:05:10] Soledad: Absolutely. Yeah. That was one of this is did ha this happened eventually. Not immediately, but I start noticing that I didn't react as bad as I reacted before. I had very very bad responses. I have to say I had some time, some in the past that I really reacted of course, when I was alone because I was conscious that I was going out mad.
But I really need to break something or really punch doors or throw something in the air if I have some strong trigger. And thanks to the. Of I didn't have that feeling anymore. I felt the trigger because I still feel it. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. I'm not cured of course. But it's a different way of dealing with it.
I have all the d I'm very conscious and my instinct that before was really out of control. It's controlled is I can rationalize and I can control my reactions when I have a trigger. And also I have to say I didn't gain any new triggers. So this is something which is actually great because I heard it's very common when you grow or grow up, eventually you start gaining new triggers and this Oh yeah.
I guess is something very common. And in my case, Thanks, God, I have to say I didn't gain any new triggers. They're all the same and actually some triggers are more, are softer than before. They're not, they don't have that strong impact on myself as I used to be. Of course, it depends of my day because some days, you know how it is sometimes when we are stressed or we are in some sleep.
Yeah. Eh, so it depends. But we say, we can say that overall I have a very new control of my triggers. Eh? So I still get triggered. I still get triggered. I, it is not like I, I do know I, I still have my beautiful wax, earplugs, . That's, , they're part of myself.
[00:07:28] Adeel: They're part of my nity. Yeah. For many of us are earbuds and headphones.
There just another limb or organ. Yeah. Do you wanna describe yoga a little bit? Because it's something, obviously a lot of us know yoga, but we might not know anything beyond like downward dog.
[00:07:41] Soledad: Yeah. But yeah, actually, I hear a lot about meditation and yoga and I honestly, now that I have the experience, and actually I become actually a.
Also an instructor of Kundalini yoga it's very different for, from what we usually think because sometimes yoga, meditation, it is taught as something like, okay, yes, for stress to deal with the stress, to relax. But it is, trust me, it is really way more than that because it actually, it's actually now scientists are calling meditation in general, neuro training because actually, it's a training that you do kini yoga in itself. It's a very complete form of yoga. It has been it has been taught at the end of the seventies in the west, because before it was, Secret for traditional and custom things back in India and the master who brought these teachings into the west, which he, his name was Yogi Va.
He start teaching this particular yoga and he said that it was going to be really helpful for these times actually for this aqua time, which is usually called after 2012, we switch different era. Okay. I don't want to get very technical in that, but actually what we are living now, it's understood by the old masters that were going to happen.
And in fact, when all this pandemic started, I was like oh, this is what I write in the Kundalini yoga instructor, . Yes, it was quite interesting. And it's really very. Practical pragmatical way of practicing yoga because it's not just because you need to concentrate or focus, you just need to follow the guidelines and you just ha you don't have to believe in something particular.
You don't have to believe in something. You just have to act and you have to practice. That's it. And yoga, it's what it how can I say what it really impact my attention is that it works in a specific ways like it, it works on particular states of emotion. It works on particular, it works a lot of on the brain, on the D dna.
It's really interesting. , I was really interested in how pun yoga worked from a scientist scientific perspective. And I start looking for explanation, of course science is not able to explain everything, but for the past, say, 50 years, there are a lot of scientists who are researching properly the effects of yoga in general, meditation in general, but also in K yoga.
And they are able to explain some of the aspects pragmatical effects on in our brains, the changes that in we have in our brains when we practice regularly, of course k and This is what I was starting to compare what was the part of the brains involved in misophonia and how kini yoga worked.
And I start, of course, I'm not an, I'm not a physician, I'm not a scientist, as I said before, I , I have just a major degree in political science.
[00:11:15] Adeel: You're a scientist in a way, but yeah.
[00:11:17] Soledad: Oh, thank you. I try because I like to I like to get informed. I like to research also. And I said, okay, so this could work.
And some of the exercises, meditations, proved it on myself because I start practicing like for 40 consecutive days or 90 consecutive days. And in fact, they have an impact on myself. And they really have they make the difference. And you don't need, you don't have to think that Kundalini yoga, especially Kundalini yoga, is something like it'll relax.
Yeah. Of course. It'll work on your parasympathetic nervous system and it will chill you out. It'll chill, it'll cool you down. But it the effect it's really more profound, honestly.
[00:12:10] Adeel: Oh, interesting. And do you do any virtual teaching in case anybody listening is interested or is it something you have to do in person?
[00:12:18] Soledad: I do virtual virtual vi virtual teaching. Now I created a website but it's still in Italian because I saw that in Italy we have very little places to prefer to, when it comes to misson, unfortunately. , we don't have that much that much re those resources as you have in English language.
So I decided to create it only in Italian. So I created a website which is called Misophonia Cons, which means conscious misophonia, which is, I think the name says something about it. No, it's like you're being conscious, right? Of misophonia, and you try to find ways to deal with it. It's no longer just to rant about misophonia or how bad is.
This situation, ?
[00:13:06] Adeel: No, it's very similar goal to this podcast. It's, yeah, you, I'd love to hear rants too, but but yeah, it's more about being conscious and looking backwards and looking deeper. I'm looking to the future. That's great. I'll definitely link to the, your website for sure.
Thank you. And have you have you found other, I'm curious, like how is Italy for misophonia a.
[00:13:25] Soledad: There is another there is another website who informs about all misophonia award, this world, let's say. Yeah. But there's some Facebook groups of course, but there is a small association, but I don't know how to what extent they are being active.
Yeah. But I research a lot, but I, there is not that much actually. And people. usually try to, I created also a Facebook group also with the same name Ms. And little by little people is coming find out about it. There are another, yeah, there are another Facebook group, but of Ms.
Italy, but there is not that much involvement. I don't know. It's not the same as I saw in Facebook groups from another countries because I also sign up to other miss groups. Correct. From other countries. Eh, there is very, really little information. I'm trying. If, in fact, with my website, I also, I'm trying to spread awareness.
I have created also some guide guides to inform also physicians, because even as we know, doctors are not aware of the existence. Unfortunately, , and here in Italy, it's even worse than in your, in the States or in England or in states.
[00:14:48] Adeel: That's gonna be pretty bad if it's even worse than here, right?
[00:14:50] Soledad: Yes. It's really worse. Really worse.
[00:14:52] Adeel: How are, how is Italy for like general mental health awareness? Like being able to talk about this stuff or even we'll probably get into if you've mentioned Misho to others, people take it seriously or, how do they take care of, how do they think about mental health stuff like this, especially unknown stuff.
Yeah. Not just doctors, but in
[00:15:09] Soledad: general. in general? Yes. It depends. I think it is the same as in everywhere in the world actually. It is you can find people who are, ah, okay. Yeah, I heard that. I have a friend who had that or Yes, they had the same reaction. They are maybe curious about it.
Yeah. But it depends. Some people is because I also read posts from other mis phones, as you say, mis phones in Italy, and they had the same issues as the, everyone in the world that people doesn't believe them or they believe that they are just spoiled or nephews or strict, same old story.
[00:15:48] Adeel: Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, then maybe, do you want to how did do you remember like your earliest days with Misson? What were your first, triggers and how did that all get, get started? .
[00:15:59] Soledad: Yeah. What? You can still hear me? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Because I have my earphones. Okay. Oh, okay.
, yes. I dunno if I, I touched some, I did a strange noise. Okay. Actually I, my oldest memories is I was really young. I think I was around 11 years old, but I cannot say for sure. And it all started with my father eating on the table. He was really Pa Yeah. Yeah, he was really passionate.
say he was really passionate about eating and speaking while he was chew his food
[00:16:35] Adeel: so well. Italian food is really good and Italian family
[00:16:39] Soledad: actually, yeah, actually you have to contextualize this back in Argentina because it all started back in. Oh gosh. Ok. Yeah. And you imagine it was all back in the eighties.
So no internet, no information, Mr. , no clue about it. No one knew about nothing. So I was really clueless also because I was le hearing my father twin and I was really desperate. And then it started with my father, but then also my mother started really triggering me. And I had also the problem with the pronunciation.
Pronunciation with the. Warp. Oh yeah. Whatever. I had now I don't have that anymore, so that's a good thing. The renunciation with the , it was really killing me. And it was really, I have to say it was really hard because I didn't know what's go, what's going on. It's something really, something that really as young as you can be when you are 11 years old and something that really makes you freak out. And was the only one and my parents were really clueless. They were looked at me like, say okay but I don't know what you, you are so nervous.
Why is that? And I didn't know how to explain. And I remember the funny thing is like, , I was developing unconsciously the coping skills that are now wildly known. We, which are mimicking. I was a four years mimicker because I really need, yes, still nowaday. Sometimes I have to hold myself because I have, sometimes I have the instinct to mimic, especially my husband.
But I can cope with that now with the mimic because I understood that actually it doesn't make things better, but when I was young, I was really, you couldn't see me because I was really desperate mi mimicking and I was eating on the table. I have a very small, I lived in a very small house.
The kitchen was so tiny that we didn't even have a table in the kitchen. So we just eat in the living room. And my mother, at some point of time, she was fed up and she was eaten standing in the kitchen. And I was eating alone in the living room. Oh,
[00:19:03] Adeel: she was fed up with your reaction?
[00:19:04] Soledad: Yes, because yeah, it was too much.
It was too much. He, she didn't know what else she could do. Because sometimes I was actually, Carrying the things in the kitchen. And then I brought the table on the table and with one hand I was covering one ear and with the other I have, yes, I hold the fork and start eating as fast as I could, and I pull, of course, the TV on.
Yeah. I was a totally, yeah, it was a really stressful situation. Yeah. And I was only child also. , my parents was like, were like, okay, what's wrong with you? They couldn't even understand. They try, I guess to some extent to help me, but I understand them back, back in time.
They have no instruments to know or to search or
[00:19:55] Adeel: in way understand. The doctors don't know what it is. Then that's lot of, have your only way to get information. There's no internet. Yeah. Like you said and no friends and family aren't gonna know about it, so you're totally in the dark.
So they, they just didn't know what to do. It's not like they were antagonizing or, just they weren't like making, mocking you or anything, or making you
[00:20:14] Soledad: No. They were actually, I think they were scared of me.
No, but no. They were not. No. They were not antagonizing me. That they were, sometimes they were fed up, which now I can understand.
[00:20:29] Adeel: But, so you didn't have any siblings, but how were, no. How were you doing at. ?
[00:20:33] Soledad: I have to say that I was a really lucky girl because when I was young, my triggers were mainly my parents.
So I managed to have a really normal social life. , it was really strange. That's something in my socialized social life triggered me. The only thing I had the serious issues was like getting on the bus. If someone, of course we know if someone is doing eh. Yeah. So I just mentioned that that was a problem.
And back in the time I didn't have this access , to the, the headsets and the
[00:21:12] Adeel: right walkmans and earbuds and headphones.
[00:21:16] Soledad: Yeah. No we didn't have that. We have the cassette. You remember?
[00:21:19] Adeel: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just that Watson in soy Walkman. Of course. Yeah. Those things expensive now.
Oh gosh. Yeah, they're vintage. So anyway,
[00:21:30] Soledad: you have vintage, but at the time it was really expensive for, at least for me back in Argentina,
[00:21:36] Adeel: It was not even more expensive. Yeah.
[00:21:39] Soledad: Yeah. It was very difficult to have the one of those, so that was one of my problems actually, when I had to travel on the bus.
But still, it was not really a serious issue. And honestly I don't remember honestly being trigger by someone outside my house environment, to be honest.
[00:22:01] Adeel: Okay. That's good. Yeah. And then as you got old yeah. Basically as you got older, when did things start to at some point really proliferate.
[00:22:08] Soledad: Actually, I I start noticing that especially, for example, with my closest friends , if we have some, for example with my friend from my whole life we have a vacation. We went together for a vacation and we were sharing the room and she was at the time using brackets and we weren't sleeping.
And she was doing some strong, strange noise with her brackets. And I was really going mad . And okay. And that was the first time, first I think I was 16 or 17 years old, and I think that was the first time that someone outside my parents triggered me. And
[00:22:48] Adeel: then do you mean your braces, like on her teeth?
Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah.
[00:22:53] Soledad: Gotcha. Yeah. Sorry. I think I promised them wrong. That's fine. And yes. And then I noticed that later on when I had, I lived with other friends, especially for example, when I was older, like 25, 26 years old, and I lived with a dearest friend also. She had a dry mouth, and she was really tri because dry mouth is one of my worst triggers.
And she was really triggering me, and I explained to her about, but that, at that time I didn't know about ms. Yes. I just knew that sound really freaked me out. And I explained to her, She was really under really compassionate. , have to say, I was really lucky with my friends and she was trying to avoid, or if I said something, she would drink water immediately because she said she noticed that I was really uncomfortable with the to say, uncomfortable not to say.
And then eventually, , as I said my job experience as a flight attendant really helped me because you are in an environment which is already noisy. You have the engines in the aircraft, and you also work with different people, so you don't work all the time with the same people. So you, you change colleagues the whole time.
So you don't have actually the, I don't know, at least in my experience, I don't know, maybe there is another flight attendant who suffers from Sonia and has a different experience from myself. But in my case, I have to say I didn't even remember I, that I had that weird thing while I was flying. I didn't have any trigger at all.
Even with passengers eating, I didn't have any the problem was every time I, I. Came back home because I also, when I was, I, when I was 25 years, I left Argentina and I went to live in Qatar in Middle East. Oh, wow. And I, yeah, I start I had a flight experience also there because before I used to fly in Argentina and then I went to live there.
And and I also different how can I say? Different context, also different colleagues with different customs, because we have when I flew there, we were like 60 different nationalities. So you know how it is, how it goes. We have all different ways of eating
But still, I didn't have any issues with that. Honestly, it was every time I came back to Argentina at home, I said here we go again with this mouse noises, because that was my thing. Mouse
[00:25:35] Adeel: noises, right? Yeah. Now that I think about it on a plane, yeah. It's so loud that you're not gonna hear people eating generally.
No. Even in the misa the podcast app, I have a whole background sound you can repeat of 7 37 cuz it's, yeah, it's just noisy. But visual triggers. I was wondering if maybe, looking at your passengers, if you were Triggered visually at all by watching them, their peanuts.
[00:25:58] Soledad: Yeah,
But I didn't have visual triggers at that time. Actually, the visual triggers actually came late later. , when I saw someone bringing their, maybe their fingers to the mouth, that was not really appreciated. But it depends, in my case, it all, it always depend on the.
on the relationship you have with me because, now, nowadays, if I see someone, a stranger, one who brings their fingers to their mouth, I'm not happy, but I'm not trigger, but I'm not happy. Okay? . But I'm not triggered. If I see my mother thinking her fingers to her mouth, that's really serious problem.
Serious issues. And you have to stop doing that immediately. You know how it thinks, ? Yes. So I think they are now also researching, this this differences now because I think it's very common because not all the people triggers us the same way. So
[00:26:54] Adeel: I guess this is a No. That's very odd.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And sometimes it's animals will do something that doesn't trigger somebody or kids interest. So then Okay. So yeah. So you're flight tenant, you're not getting treated. Then you'd come home and you'd get triggered. When did you find out then? It was a, it was a real condition.
Were you doing
[00:27:11] Soledad: Oh my God, I can tell you. No, it's 2016. Oh, beautiful. Oh, not too long ago. 2000. Yes, because I have this dear friend of mine, Maria, she came once, I said sole, look at this article. It was a Spanish article actually. This, it describes what you, explain me what you have and say oh my God, yes, it's me.
I'm not the only one. This, this the typical, I was always almost about to cry because when you find out that you are not the only crazy freak who has this thing, right? It's oh my God, this is me. I need second condition. I can't believe it. I was so happy, strangely happy. Of course, you know how this is right?
Oh, really? Strange happiness. Yeah. I was really happy to know, especially that there are more people, that they have the same suffering. That I was not the only one who was, who had this weird thing. And I could explain also myself because, there was like, I think we all have this thing, like this sort of conflict with ourself because you have something that you cannot even explain to yourself because it's not rational, it's not normal.
You don't see other people, or at least back in time. You don't see other people or you don't hear other people. It's like a headache. People have headache, everyone has a headache sometimes. But this one no. You don't hear, because even people, maybe they don't even say that they have it because they're embarrassed also to say, because we.
in some point we all find it a little bit irrational. , I don't know. So there, there are a lot of emotions there. Also, I think this is misophonia is something like it, it's it really makes life even difficult for us because okay, there is a condition. We have these symptoms, but on top of that, there is all these emotions that we feel strange, we feel alienated, isolated, or I don't know.
We cannot explain. You say, okay, no. Okay, I have this diagnosed, I, I am, I have this. No, we don't. Or at least until we don't find out that it is a condition. So I think this creates a self conflict with ourself. A non-acceptance or, I don't know. There is, I think a lot of Psychological things going on that is not be, is not created in, in, they're not part of mis symptoms, but it creates it because maybe because of society or because we don't have the right instruments to find out as normal pathologist, you have normal conditions, you go to the doctor, you get the diagnosis, okay, you can do this or you can do that, et cetera, et cetera.
It doesn't happen with Misson and I think this really is really devastating for us.
[00:30:07] Adeel: Yeah, you're right. There's a lot of layers. Like it's not well understood, so it just makes it easier to dismiss. Plus, it's too similar to to a normal person who's quickly trying to understand it.
They just compare it to people who are annoyed by, sounds. And that's just basic annoyance. Yeah. They don't really understand, . Yeah. The crazy fantasies and Yeah. Yes.
[00:30:30] Soledad: Yeah. That's also, it really, I don't know because maybe it's really an also difficult to speak to speak it out loud.
And honestly, the thoughts that we really get in our minds are really cruel, are really criminal. Oh my God, , I'm not a criminal.
[00:30:49] Adeel: I swear not criminal. Yes. You're not criminal to think about things. To act at them. So as far as I know, we are very good at bottling it all up. But you're right, the the thoughts can get and so when you, that's great.
So when Maria gave you the article, did you then obviously you re I'm sure you researched it as much as you could. Did you then share it with
[00:31:08] Soledad: your family? Yes, I. Yeah. The first thing I did was to write a letter to my parents, because at that time I was already living in Italy, so I didn't have my parents written.
My, my parents are still living in Argentina. So I wrote a letter and I printed some explanation about misson. I went to search for Misson also in Spanish, which I found information also in Spanish language. So I created this nice envelope and when when I went back to Argentina to visit them, I gave them this letters with all the explanation and ask, asking them for forgiveness.
And now we know that I have this. It was not something like it doesn't have this condition. Doesn't have anything to do with my feelings. For them. And I really wanted to make that clear because I think Misson, unfortunately, the way we react we make people think that we really hate them because at the moment, when we are triggered, we really, I think we convert we, we become something like a monster or something like that.
Or at least my mother said, oh, you look like a monster when you look at me. Yeah. When you g you give me that glare, you look like a monster, and this it's really bad because it's no, I still love you , but I'm sorry I cannot do anything but. Imagine in the past don't have the resources to explain why is that happening?
So when I found out about misophonia, the, one of the first thing I did was to write my parents. And I think it w I don't know, I felt like the nicest thing to do was to write them and to write a letter and to make them know that I really loved them, that they were the best parents in the world, and that I really sorry for , all the moments miss, we saw miss moments, but it was not in my control.
It was some part of my brain that was reacting. So this sort of understood. Yeah. My mother, maybe she understood, from understanding to accepting there is. 30 different .
[00:33:22] Adeel: Yeah. She couldn't quite Right. It took maybe a little bit work or maybe it's still taking some work to get to it's still taking, yes.
Yeah. Is it because of all the remembering, all the I'm sure all the moments and all
[00:33:33] Soledad: the baggage. Yeah. I guess that, we also have to ask microphones. We also I learned this lesson. We also have to understand that other people, despite they're our parents or friends or strange people, they have their own issues.
. So we cannot expect people to understand us immediately. That they can deal with it. If nothing or okay. If they are all psychologists because they have their own issues, they have their own problems, maybe their problem. My, my mother didn't have my mother have a very complicated early years of her life.
So she has of course some child issues, which maybe it's difficult for her not to feel hurt by whatever reaction of people, not only by myself. So I learned that I also have to be compassionate. I don't I don't have to ask for compassion for myself, but I also need to be compassionate to other people and I have to I have to accept.
That not everyone will accept or will come to terms with this thing or will accept the things or will understand what's really going on in my brain. Not everyone is able to understand that, and I have to accept that, and I have to move on. Okay. So this study, I think it's something very important for everyone.
For e every mis people, don't have to expect everyone understands it. And because, not because they are bad or they don't want, or they, no they just they have as we have our own limitations because we all have limitations. There are people that have their limitations by themselves.
So we have to be we have to accept also that, and we move on. We don't have, we cannot get upset. Okay. No, they have to understand because no, you have to move on and do the best you can to live a happy life. It depends on yourself. For example, in my case with my mother sometimes, especially when I go back to Argentina, now, it's been like two years.
I don't go to Argentina because of the pandemic . But every time I go there, it's an issue because maybe when I make the point that maybe she's little, she's triggering me and she really doesn't take it that well. And she mix the things because she's tell oh, come on, you don't see me. You barely see me.
And when you see me, I trigger you. It doesn't have nothing to do that we don't see we don't, we don. We don't see each other frequently. It's a trigger. Yeah. I cannot see, maybe for five years when I see you again and you do that, you trigger me. It's my brain. It's not my myself, but I need your help, your collaboration.
Just avoid that. But it's difficult. It's difficult. And every time I go to Argentina, sometimes it's it's demanding and it's complicated. But I understand, and I understand.
[00:36:43] Adeel: At least you wrote the letter and there's, that's a huge step, I think, on your part. That's and I'm sure they appreciate that as well, that you took the time to write that and on paper too.
Not just in a email. Yeah.
[00:36:53] Soledad: Yeah, no, yeah, no, on paper. Yeah. Yeah. I took it. Yeah. I wanted to do it on paper, because I think it's something that stays different that from an email, you know, .
[00:37:02] Adeel: And maybe moving on to your your own family life in Italy. How has that been?
At home? I dunno if you have kids or not, but how's it been on, in, on
[00:37:10] Soledad: your home turf? All right my husband eventually he start triggering me also . So
[00:37:18] Adeel: not at the beginning, but it came up, no. Okay.
[00:37:21] Soledad: Yeah, eventually he start triggering me. So at the beginning he didn't trigger me.
He didn't trigger me at all. I can say like for the first five, six years we worked together. Yeah, it was beautiful. A paradise. I was so happy. And then eventually I said oh no, he's clearing me.
I don't, I think it was, I think it all started, he smoked and when he was smoking, there was this weird sound that was like, oh, what are you doing? , it was like that. But I, at the time, I also smoked, so I was doing the same. No, if you want to say, but, of course doing done by him, it didn't, it was a trigger and it was also difficult for me to explain to him because at that time I didn't have any idea about this condition. So I tried to understand, I try to make him underst. But it was not that simple. And then when also in 2016 I ran to him, I said listen, , listen to, you have to really listen. And he was like, oh, okay. And from that time, he really got really supported. He really supports me.
Sometimes it's difficult for him, and I totally understand because it's difficult sometimes to be around me because maybe he's okay, you are doing that noise. Maybe you should drink some water. But now I also learn the ways to express myself in the kindest way I can. Because I, I think this, another thing that the practice of the linear yoga allowed me is like to not be that instinct.
To not react. instinctively or react
[00:39:17] Adeel: or actively not take, maybe take some time to about,
[00:39:21] Soledad: yeah. Yes. And I manage to, I, I think to the best of my possibilities, of course, to, to experiment. Okay, maybe you can drink some water. Maybe just to ask it a nice way I have this green feeling, I also, make fun of myself.
You're very important. I. Yeah, I don't know. I try ways and he usually, he is really support, he really supports me and he understands sometimes he's fed up, and I totally understand. He's fed up because, but I have to say, I, most of the time I'm wearing my ear, my wax ear blacks, which are great because they are very soft and they don't hurt the ear.
So I managed to not to be triggered that much or honestly, and then . Yeah. Tell
[00:40:10] Adeel: me. No, I was gonna ask about your earplugs. Are they is there a certain brand that makes those wax earplugs or did you yeah, get them to custom?
[00:40:17] Soledad: No. They're I buy them here in Italy. In in actually in the drug store.
They are buying, yeah. Yeah. They're widely sold. I don't have the brand yet.
[00:40:28] Adeel: See the foam ones? Yeah. But the wax ones, yeah. No
[00:40:32] Soledad: foam. They don't go, yeah, no, it's the same as if I don't wear anything. The, yeah I hear a lot of people using foam and I say oh my God, you really managed to block.
[00:40:44] Adeel: They probably don't have anything compared to. Other than not having anything. A block something, but it's, yeah it's tough to make it tough to, it's tough to make it work. I know some people who have very unique ways to put them in your ears to make, to maximize the ceiling, but I don't think everybody does that
[00:40:58] Soledad: No.
No. Yes, because I tried with the foam, but for me it doesn't work at all. It's the same as if I am not wearing any . And then I found this box. I also find them some sort of wax back in the uk time, sometime back, but they are not that soft, so they're not that comfortable. But these ones that I think they're produced, they're pro they're made in Italy.
They are very, they're great actually. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, most of Italian MyPhone were these ones, .
[00:41:35] Adeel: Ah, okay. Okay. Do you know the brand name? Is it an Italian name?
[00:41:39] Soledad: Okay, let me see, because I guess I have them back here. Okay. Yes, I have this, the box. Oh, the name is, Cal and actually they're made in Switzer.
Yeah they're actually made in Switzerland. Okay. Fox earplugs for noise protection.
[00:41:55] Adeel: Yeah. Interesting. Maybe send a picture if you send a picture of your of your location or whatever, or your beach walk or something, send a picture of the earplugs and I can kinda share it to people too.
Absolutely. Yeah. Interesting. Yes. Okay. Yeah that's that's a coping mechanism. Yeah. It's good to hear about Goodyear plugs cuz a lot of people end up just putting music in. Assuming that your plugs. or not that good. So it's good to hear about the good ones cuz sometimes you don't want music always in your ear.
[00:42:21] Soledad: No, it's too much. Even with the, the EarPods are of course, okay, they're nice, but after a few hours it's like you are in pain, right? Because they're, I don't know from, in my case, they are really uncomfortable. But I keep saying the best of course we give immediate coping instruments such as music or avoidance also, because in my case for example, when I enter a room, for example, for me, one of my biggest challenges is the waiting room.
Because waiting room. Yeah. Yeah. It's usually very silent and you can hear the tightness movements or noises. So I always stay outside, I usually get this, oh, please ma'am, come have a seat. No, I'm fine standing out there. So I always, I'm now with the pandemic, it's nice because waiting rooms are over, but I think they will come back sometime
But at least here in Italy, there is no longer, no more waiting rooms, because you have to wait outside, which for me is great because I don't like to be sitting, of course, if I have to sit, I have also I always have my wax earplug or my music, and this is the way to go, but I always.
Keep saying since I started practicing yoga and kini yoga, the best way to deal. I think for now, until we don't get something more concrete from science the practice of the meditation and in my case I will say not yoga, but kini yoga.
[00:43:58] Adeel: Kini yoga. Okay. I'm gonna have to look into that more. Yeah.
[00:44:02] Soledad: Yes.
Because it really helps, of course, if you, for example, if you are triggered by the sound of breath, kini yoga can be really difficult because it has been,
[00:44:14] Adeel: Miss a lot about breathing.
[00:44:16] Soledad: Yes. But at the same time, the nice thing about kini yoga is it makes a lot of elements such as sound, when I say sound, I say like mantra.
And when for example, also movement, of course, it sometimes is repetitive movement. Or maybe a position or a position with your hands the breath or the focus of your, of your gaze, of your eye focus. And it, it interconnects. And coordinate all these elements to create a specific estate.
But at the same time, there are some exercises or meditations that they do not employ all these elements. Maybe they just employ mantra or they just employ sound, or they just employ a static vocalization or you have to stay in one position. There are really, you can find different.
There. There is. So many different meditations. It's not like always the same old meditation that you have to sit and no they're really, they're very different meditations. So this is one of the things I was trying to create also in my website, to offer some meditations depending of your trigger.
Of course, we know that misophonia the triggers may be infinite because we do not all have the same triggers. So it's very difficult to make happy to everyone be happy with with something, because maybe it is all very articulated. But as far as I could see, Or repetitive movement or sound are main triggers.
And for example, in my case, I am not I do not, I'm not getting triggered by anything within the Kundalini yoga practice. So I have to say I'm very lucky. But for example, if you are triggered by breath, you can totally avoid breathing exercises and just do another type of exercise just as movement or just vibrating a mantra.
And they are really, they have a lot of efficacy. They, they really work. So it's not like it's, you
[00:46:37] Adeel: not, so you have to do more. Yeah. Not like you have to be around any breathing or whatever. You can pick and choose something and it'll be effective. Exactly.
[00:46:45] Soledad: Yes. So this is I think it's nice.
It has a re unfortunately, even al teachers maybe they're not that informed about ms. So if you go for , also , yeah. Except at least for me, maybe some other teachers back in Italy, they know it because I spread the word a little bit. Yeah. I try to spread as much as I can, but, it takes time.
It's not immediate. So I think with the help of science and also with the help of everyone like you with the podcast and other people with the association, Association, I think we do all little, we do our little job, but I think then it will have an impact eventually. And I think Misson will become more well known.
[00:47:40] Adeel: Yeah. We're moving forward. We're slow moving forward. At some point we gotta hit some critical mass where it'll be more mainstream . Maybe we just need a Barack Obama to admit he has misophonia or somebody famous and dead to it.
[00:47:52] Soledad: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What do you Yeah,
[00:47:56] Adeel: tell. No. No, I was, I was gonna say we're, we've already, it's an hour has flown by here.
Yeah. But I wanted to give you a chance to is there anything else you wanna share with people, maybe even in Italian or Spanish for people listening , I know you've shared a lot and Yeah, that's, I wanna be googling a lot of stuff that you talked about, including go, couldn't lean yoga.
I wanna put your links in the notes, but yeah, yeah. Anything else? Yeah, you'd like, yeah, you'd like to share?
[00:48:17] Soledad: Yeah. I just don't lose hope, , this is the main thing. Just say, don't lose hope. I think I heard, in some of your podcast, I don't remember of course, the name of the guest, but he says something really nice.
It's there is a way to cope with it, it's not like we are alone in this. We can cope with this. And how can I say? We don't have to fall in the, which is very normal in the ranting because ranting doesn't help positive thinking, although it might be seen as something, let's say stupid, but it's not stupid at all.
Positive thinking helps a lot because actually it is a real exercise for the mind. Especially when we have negative thoughts I'm going a little bit outside of yoga because this is , it is yoga, but it is also not yoga. Yeah. We don't have to fall in the trap because unfortunately with Ms.
Sonia, we fall in the mine trap and we can deal with this. We, there is a way to deal with this, and this is an opportunity. This is a, this is what I was thinking about some guests he had and he said, this is an opportunity to grow. This is an opportunity misophonia as hard as it can be seen as an opportunity.
In reality, it is an opportunity to grow to to evolve. Because maybe because of misophonia, we start looking at ourself in a different way. We focus deeper in ourself and, Taking down in that road, we managed to see ourself and to gain more knowledge of ourself. And maybe, I don't know.
I see it like as an opportunity to grow, although it's really hard, although it's really painful. But I, it is still an opportunity. So be, have, be hopeful and we can do this and yeah. This is what the main thing I wanted to don't lose hope and don't fall in depression.
It's useless. It's useless. Yeah. You can manage. You are stronger.
[00:50:28] Adeel: That's it. No, that's great. That's a great positive, like to end at a positive note cuz as you said, yeah it is hard for us to maintain positivity and as you were speaking it just struck me that yeah, us spreading the word is we're more likely to meet other people like us who have positive energy.
And and what better way to get over or deal with misophonia than to hear positive words like yours who from some west misophonia. So thank you for that. Thank you. And I'm sure many people appreciate it. Yeah, this is great. Sole. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for coming up.
Thank you sole. Really inspiring conversation and great food. If you like this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to this podcast. You can hit me up by email. Hello miss funny podcast.com. I'll go to the website, miss funnies podcast.com. It's even easier just to send that message on Instagram, miss Funny podcast.
You should follow there or on Facebook and on Twitter, a show you can support the show by visiting Patreon patreon.com/music podcast. The music is always, and until next week, wishing
[00:51:39] Soledad: and quiet.