S6E11 - Lynn
Lynn is a music and entertainment lawyer in New York. She doesn’t have the normal mouth sound triggers many of us do - hers are more machine-oriented. We talk about HSP, her career as a therapist before going into law, how different cultures react to misophonia and other mental health conditions, as well as our recommendations for quiet kitchen appliances. I also give Lynn my thoughts on how to eat if and when we have a meal in NY.
Disclaimer: These are machine-generated transcripts and so are not completely accurate. However they will be manually updated over time until they are.
[00:00:00] Adeel: Lynn, welcome to the podcast. Good to have you here.
[00:00:03] Lynn: Happy to be here. Nervous. I'm a little nervous. Yeah,
[00:00:07] Adeel: no, don't be nervous. It yeah. It flies by. You won't even know. But so yeah, do you wanna start by telling people where you are and what you do?
[00:00:15] Lynn: I'm in New York City and I'm an entertainment lawyer. I do music, film, and television agreements transactional law. I don't go to court. I don't sue people. I'm a non litigious lawyer working in the entertainment business.
[00:00:32] Adeel: Cool. Yeah. And I guess yeah, you had reached out earlier this year, I think, I want to say maybe even before the summer.
I believe it. I believe you did. I think it's been a while we've been trying to put this together. Yeah. But so how, yeah. So how was it just to listen over the podcast or was there, like how's mis funny for you these days? Is it, yeah, things been breaking out.
[00:00:53] Lynn: Yeah, breaking out. Is that the.
[00:00:55] Adeel: I just made that up actually.
Okay. Good to know. Kinda like a zip, kinda like a zip
[00:00:59] Lynn: breakout. I'm like, that's awesome. Tm. Just TM at the end of exactly. I listened to some of your episodes and I don't think I have the typical story about misophonia.
I just recently discovered that I had it and didn't have a name for it until really recently. So once in a while when I'm feeling tortured by my triggers I'll do a little Google search just to learn more. I'm, I feel like a baby in terms of, discovering what this is about and how to manage it and, how to avoid certain triggers and so on.
So I would say that I'm still in the discovery phase. , and, trying to remember when it started. I have no idea. When it started, I don't remember being like this as a kid or even as a young adult, and I have things that annoyed me in life. And then I realized that, wow, I have this thing.
[00:01:50] Adeel: What made you realize that? Yeah. That it must sounds like it was Yeah. Y
[00:01:54] Lynn: yeah, so I, it was, I think it was 2018 . And so real recent, I used to volunteer for Sundance every year. And the festival and Melanie Linsky this indie actress.
[00:02:06] Adeel: Yeah. No, she's come dysphonia.
And she talks about it
[00:02:08] Lynn: sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. She wa you know, I was reading this interview cuz she had done a couple of films, at this particular season of Sundance and she said, oh yeah, I have this thing. And as I, I googled it. What is this thing? And she says she suffers from, and then I was like, oh my gosh.
I have this, it was really surprising. Although I feel like I have a different one than most do , it comes out in different ways. So that's how I discovered and came into the world of miso. Do people say miso? Is that Is that disrespectful? Okay, good. No. and
[00:02:38] Adeel: Misos, yes.
Yeah. Does the miso sphere, miso phones mis phonic people good? I don't think good was really actually it's funny. No one, I don't know if any, anyone is crazy, but the name misophonia, because I think it means hatred of sound. It's not like we Oh, keep sounds, it's right, selective sounds. There used to be a term of, sorry for the history of last, but there used to be a term called selective sound sensitivity syndrome, which is more accurate, but way less catchy.
And so it it went to misho around basically it was in a New York Times article in 2011. And it the name I think just stuck since then. Misophonia.
[00:03:13] Lynn: I do hate some sounds so . Yeah. And I like miso. That's why we're here. Yeah.
[00:03:16] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah, MISO's catchy, but also it's got the soup connotation as well.
Sure. Which I guess love
[00:03:23] Lynn: it. Yeah. Yeah. Dressing.
[00:03:25] Adeel: But I guess so. That sounds okay. Yeah. Melanie tipped you off and did so what were, so guess what are some of your, without making, obviously making the trigger sounds, so what are some of the things that what makes it different for you then?
[00:03:37] Lynn: Yes. Let me play all my, no, let me play all my trigger sounds. , I they're mostly machine or manmade sounds I'm guessing refrigerators, , oh my gosh. I'm, I get homicidal when I'm somewhere where there's, loudly further pool heaters generators those kinds of things.
I just, even really loud acs. I, that drives me nuts. Fans I don't enjoy. And then there's some strange ones, bad music. So music that I don't enjoy becomes a trigger , which maybe is just even if I didn't have me. So I would feel that, but it feels a little bit, it feels more hateful than intrusion.
Yeah. It feels more hostile than other people who might listen to a song that they don't enjoy. The, there's that, and when I'm commercials either on the radio, on television, that those drive me nuts. A lot of just unwanted sounds and even music if I love it.
even if it's a music I love, but I'm not in the mood for it, it becomes a little bit triggering as well. So I'm just very aware of sounds and if I'm having lunch with somebody in a restaurant and the speaker or the music that they're playing is loud, or if the speaker is bad and you can hear that, that humming or a bad speaker or, all of that.
I can't even listen to the conversation that I'm having in the restaurant. Just fixated on it. Yeah. I'm just like, that sound went into the hardware store the other day and even just to run in and out getting a nail. They were playing a radios commercial radio, so you're hearing the commercials and then one of the speakers in the back of the hardware store was busted.
So it was just like this very. , buzzing sound, and I was like, ah, I gotta get outta here. So yeah, that's the scope of my, I don't have the chewing, yeah, you don't have the chewing.
[00:05:22] Adeel: Okay. No. So at that restaurant, with your friend, with the speaker causing problems that person's chewing or is not an issue?
No, not at all. Yeah. What about visual triggers? Do any visual triggers accompany any of these? Not as, not usual. Triggers of yours. What do what
[00:05:36] Lynn: do people, what other people have as visual triggers?
[00:05:38] Adeel: Visual triggers it's, they usually accompany the more mouth sound misophonia.
So it's, it would be like if they're seeing somebody chewing something, or maybe they're, sometimes it's like fidgeting if they're seeing some, . Yeah. Un yeah. Unwanted, repetitive Foot rotation or just, sometimes it's also like touch, like it's the classic kicking in the back of your seat on an airplane but, other things.
[00:06:00] Lynn: Yeah. Though, yeah, now that you're saying that, and again, I feel like I'm still new to all this, so yes, I get, I'm very conscious of people or fidgeting and Yeah. I, I do, it, it, it not to the level of the sounds, but it does irritate me. Yes. I'm really conscious of the person who's sitting behind me or in front of me in a plane to the point where it can ruin my flight.
And yeah, I guess there is some hypervigilance that I go beyond the sounds now that you mentioned it, but I never really thought about that. Yeah.
[00:06:27] Adeel: Yeah. There's a school of thought, and this might be a digression, but I was talking to someone about this yesterday where like the sound sensitivities might just be might just stick out because it's I was thinking about it and it's like hearing is.
maybe the most difficult of our five senses to, to avoid because we can close our eyes to avoid seeing something. We can obviously not touch something or not taste or smell something, but like hearing, like you really need to be to have noise counseling headphones on to avoid a sound that, that could be associated with something that's uncomfortable for you.
So maybe it's Mrs. Mo just happens to be an obvious symptom of a more, holistic, it's more pronounced.
[00:07:04] Lynn: . Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:07:05] Adeel: But anyway so how, then, how do you so we, I guess maybe what are some of your coping mechanisms? ,
[00:07:10] Lynn: I don't know. I, other than you can give me some the story
Yeah. Again, I'm just discovering, I think that, and I was thinking about coming here to for this interview and talking about thinking about what is my coping mechanisms? And I think that. There has been a little bit of a shift or trying to be more conscious of a shift between trying to control the environment and trying to stop the people places and things that are causing that noise and my discomfort to monitoring my own actions and responses.
So I, I think that's shifting a little bit. For instance, I lived in this apartment I'm in New York now, but I lived in LA and I love this apartment, but right underneath me, and I could picture it now, that where this one neighbor had a really noisy rattley air conditioning unit that I heard when it turned on every single time.
And the second it shut off, I was like, ah. And it was constant. Unless I was playing loud music or tv, I was always very conscious of how that turned on and off. And then at the same place, there was a, three doors down, there was a pool heater again that I could always hear when it came on, and always.
Just find some relief when it turned off. And I was, writing letters to these neighbors putting them in the mailbox and the air condition place happened to be, no the pool cater place happened to be for sale, so the owners weren't even living there. So having these like letter writing campaigns and yeah, the first people giving me hope that they were to address it, but then they didn't.
And having, mounting, campaigns to try to get these people to fix. And by the way, I wish they had anyway besides how sensitive I am. But regardless, it would've been nice. I don't know how they all handled the sound, but obviously we know that now if they're not as sensitive to it.
But but now, realizing, I'm here in New York City and I know exactly what air conditions are coming on and off. It happens to me here too, but, For whatever reason, I'm just founding ways to block it out or, put music, put headphones on, trying to modulate my own, blocking out as opposed to, being subject to the noise without any ability to allowing the sound to control me versus trying to control the sound in
[00:09:21] Adeel: some way.
So not expecting other people to, be able. Turn things off, but rather than I'm still trying to
[00:09:27] Lynn: do that a little bit .
[00:09:27] Adeel: Not expecting that not expecting my
[00:09:30] Lynn: happen. Exactly. But I would literally, this is New York City and I live, my apartment is in the back, so it's really op it's the whole, it's a lot of backs to buildings is where I'm, it's like rear window.
Do you know that movie? Oh yeah. Love that movie. Yeah. So I exactly. I would have to write a whole lot of letters to get all the various heaters and air conditioner heaters is not a lot of echo lot. Yeah, exactly. I hear all them going on. But heaters is not a problem because you close all your windows and a New York, quite thick. So it's just really my heater is that you hear, and I'm not hearing everybody else's, up until now, all my windows have been open and I'm hearing every air condition unit as it goes on and off
[00:10:08] Adeel: throughout the summer. So I would think that the air conditioning, you'd want to close the windows too, but maybe some people have windows open, some people have
[00:10:15] Lynn: air condition.
I guess I'm only using air conditioning in the really, when it's really hard. Most of the time I have a lot of I've a lot of cross ventilation here, so it's only about a month that I need AC and closed windows. Otherwise my windows are open and there's a lot of that share here, . Yes. If I loved AC and I loved that, I would it would be less problematic for sure.
[00:10:36] Adeel: How is the New York otherwise ? I would imagine there's all kinds of strange noises, but also there is a general white noise and people are just always moving. So it's not like you're necessarily trapped in one place.
It's true all the time. I dunno. It's true.
[00:10:48] Lynn: I think that, my, my sensitivities are selective car horns don't bother. There's certain things that don't bother me and there's certain things that bother me. The white noise bothers me sometimes. I live on the park and on the river, on the west side.
. So it's less, it's a quieter neighborhood. And again, I'm in the back, so we don't have a lot of traffic down here, but but yeah it does bother me. I do, before I realized they had misophonia I always, once a year I would go to Thailand, Cambodia, somewhere in Southeast Asia, and I would always find the most isolated beach, with, the most isolated islands with no roads, no cars no electricity, just super quiet.
And like the amount of peacefulness that I experienced and calmness in my body was really, so here I am in the noisiest, most crowded scene, , so once in a while I do wish to be, taking away to a quiet beach where all I hear is the sound of the surf. That's my.
It's my special place.
[00:11:42] Adeel: And does that help? Like sometimes just , having that hope that you can just get away once a year sometimes helps. Do you find that kind of I don't know, can help calm you down during the maybe the tough times when there's the acs have all different frequencies going out?
[00:11:57] Lynn: not really because No. Okay. No, because then I'm just like, why aren't I there? Why am I here? What I do, to make some long life choices to, to be here. But, and also going away for a week, a year is not, it's not the goal, the life goal here. It's to spend long periods of time at these places is
[00:12:14] Adeel: the goal.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about so do, so since you found out about it in 2018 do you tell people friends or is it something that you're still learning about and but, and just trying to cope with on your own? ,
[00:12:24] Lynn: I don't tell people. And as a matter of fact, I told my boss that I wasn't gonna be available today.
And yeah. And I was like, dunno why? I was like, you have an interview, so what's the interview? I was like, ah. I was like, , do you know where Meson is? He's like, like, yeah. I'm like I have it. I'm gonna an interview. Okay, bye. And I think that's the first person I've really told, maybe my father or maybe a friend.
But I really, I don't tell people. And I hope that this doesn't sound but am I don't, I still haven't explored, am I ashamed of it or do I feel like a pain in the ass or
[00:12:51] Adeel: that's something that a lot of us feel. Yeah. I hope you know, a lot of us. Yeah, A lot of us definitely know. We had it definitely know we had it from an early age, but we just bottled it up before and after because yeah.
A lot of us are piled on. We have so much shame and guilt
[00:13:04] Lynn: from a normal age that yeah. Which, interesting to hear your
[00:13:08] Adeel: perspective. Somebody who's just found out about it recently. So
[00:13:10] Lynn: Yeah, it's a, it feels very personal for sure. And, but yeah, I guess that, and I also, I don't know. Yeah.
I need to maybe tell more people, maybe this is the way Yeah. This is my outing, right? My
[00:13:23] Adeel: outing party. Yeah. And what about your family growing up? You said, you had, you noticed some annoyances. Did you maybe were there any things that you incidents that you remember, or, and my another question is gonna be like, do you know anyone else who had it maybe in your family when you were growing up?
[00:13:39] Lynn: no, I don't remember anybody I know having it. I knew I don't remember incidents. I know that I was sensitive, like emotionally sensitive and I was, yeah. Pre, I do know that, but I don't remember it being re related to sounds or sense or, I, I have a couple of sense. Sensitivities now, which I never did.
Also, so I don't know if that's related or, I looked a little bit and I didn't see a lot of information about scent misophonia, but I imagine there could be. Yeah,
[00:14:11] Adeel: no, it's come of I guess of fla, AFL or whatever, but I, it is come about once or twice as whenever I talk to people about mis akinesia, which is the visual triggers some people mention are there other senses that they're sensitive about, like touch or sometimes smell?
Yeah. And would you say that another term that's come up a lot on the show is the highly sensitive person, the H S p, like the being an ultra empathic person. Do you, did you said you sensitive. Did you notice any traits like that growing up or you just kind very much.
[00:14:40] Lynn: Yeah, very much. I've always been intuitive and sensitive and and many times that you're too sensitive, you're too sensitive, grew up with that notion. I was also very emotional and before, years of therapy, didn't know how to contain my emotions and Yeah.
Handle, so I do feel maybe these things are connected in some ways. I was also, before I was a lawyer, I was a therapist oh, that was a natural place to, to be empathic for sure. And sensitive became a gift and an asset as opposed to a burden or an
[00:15:14] Adeel: annoyance.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's just something that overlaps a lot. The H S P highly sensitive person traits and misophonia and yeah, that's it. When I heard about that, I was thinking back as well and I was like, certainly makes a lot of sense for
[00:15:27] Lynn: as well. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And thankfully, I'm older now and I feel it's very hard to I'm not triggered emotionally a lot and I'm not super sensitive, it's very hard to offend me and, I have confidence in who I am and people saying something to me doesn't throw me off.
I feel that shifted a lot, which is nice because, some of these things we're talking about are quite burdensome, when I'm really triggered by the sounds, I have a refrigerator and, when I go into a, when I go into a hotel room, I'll immediately unplug the mini fridge, and this is, but this is a psychotic thing because like sometimes.
The plug is in a very inconvenient place, and I am moving furniture. Yeah. And I am crawling under disgusting, I am. Oh God. Yeah. And then a lot of places, like you're basically defrosting the refrigerator for, especially if you're in a tropical place. I spent a month, two months in Costa Rica last year, and I was unplugging refrigerators all over the place and flooding the hotel room because you're basically, there are some very strange habits that come of it, but I can't sleep in a room with a little mini fridge that's buzzing like crazy.
[00:16:35] Adeel: Yeah. It's a, it's having you a fridge in your bedroom. It is having a fridge in your
[00:16:38] Lynn: bedroom, which, yes. And having a studio apartment. I have, I had to, I'm looking in New York and New York is very expensive. I moved here in March and but I had to have a one bedroom because I cannot sleep in a one room with my refrigerator.
[00:16:51] Adeel: Yeah. So then okay. So you were in. Maybe I'm curious about the, yeah the, when you were a therapist, what kind of therapist were you? Or just general, for example, or yeah,
[00:16:59] Lynn: general family. Yeah. So right in California there's a marriage, family therapist, an MFT so I was really, you have to get 3000 hours as an intern to be licensed. And I was about a hundred hours away before I went to law school, so I never ended up getting licensed. Okay. Okay. But I got my master's degree in clinical psych, and then I worked for a couple years two or three, I think. After school I was, I did general adult work.
, and then I specialized in eating disorders. Okay. Ines, bulimia and anorexia.
[00:17:31] Adeel: Gotcha. Yes. And was that something you wanted to do for a long time before you did that or
[00:17:36] Lynn: No? No, I was an actor for a long time and I needed a break and I I was in therapy myself as I mentioned, and I really liked the conversation that I was having.
I had a great therapist and she was an incredible mentor and this beautiful older woman that I inspired and inspired to be. And I just really thought the conversations were important and meaningful. , and I felt that she had brought me from point A to point B in a really helpful and organic way.
And I thought I've been on that journey. I should help other people on that journey. And and then I did end up mentoring, through my practice, younger women who were also trying to, come to a place of healing and integration and so yeah, that was, it was oh, you, you go on an incredible trip and then you wanna help other people.
I, and I actually do that when I, cuz I travel a lot and I'm always making travel guides for people when they go to places I've been because why not? It's very helpful if you've been there before similar
[00:18:36] Adeel: analogy. It's interesting. And so this whole the whole portion of the career where you're a therapist, it didn't the sound sensitivities did not occur to you at all, like more, maybe it just wasn't it was normalized for you, maybe but you, it never occurred to you that that misophonia might be a thing.
[00:18:52] Lynn: No, but when you mentioned the fidgeting, there were, I, what came up for me was that I remember there were, clients who had a lot of fidgety, leg movements and arm movements, and I would try to stop them. not realizing, thinking I was helping them control their anxiety. But now when you say I'm, wow, I was, I might have been helping control my own anxiety about it.
Yeah. Yeah. So I that did that does have raised food for
[00:19:15] Adeel: thought. Yeah. And did any did anything from your therapy career kind of has that entity that kind of helped, maybe helped you manage your disappointed now that you know what it is and can try to doctor heal
[00:19:26] Lynn: thyself?
Is that what you meant? Yeah,
[00:19:27] Adeel: exactly. Yeah. I, I think, or it's totally, mostly a lot of therapists have not even heard of it there isn't really a playbook ,
[00:19:33] Lynn: but Yeah. I also remembered maybe this, now that I think of it there, maybe 15, actually there are two. There are two stories, yes.
Now that I'm thinking about the earlier versions , what I remember. , but still adulthood. But I. My, one of my therapists had a ticking clock, and that's also a really problematic sound for me. The tick. And which I always thought was an existential trigger until I realized, no, it's probably misson too.
But and I would, I couldn't concentrate on the session unless he put put away the clock. And so it would come before a session. He would put it in a drawer so I wouldn't have to hear it. And, and, but I, I felt like, oh, I'm so weird. And, he didn't, he said that no other client had ever asked him to do that.
And whenever I'd be in a room, when I'd go to Thailand and there'd be a ticking clock in the massage room. When I was supposed to be getting undressed. Oh, that's a terrible place for one. Yeah, I know. And I would hide the clock, in some room somewhere. It was, I was the crazy the crazy ANGs, parer.
Trying to hide a clock or pulling out the battery, again. As part of me pulling, pull, unplugging refrigerators, just trying to manage the sound so I could have some peace. But one time I was at my sister's, she had just gotten married and I spent the night in the guest room and there was a ticking clock in there, and I put the ticking clock in a drawer in the cab, in the filing cabinet.
And then never thought about it in a, two, three months later. My sister called me. She's I don't know how to ask you this, but did you steal our clock ? And I was like, she was like, yes, you caught. It was, I was like, months later I was like, whatcha are you talking about? And I was like, oh my gosh, that clock.
Yes, it's in the drawer. And she opened it and she found it. I'm like, you waited months to ask me if I've stole that clock. So I thought you stole it. We didn't know how to tell you
Yeah. It was a, it was ridiculous thing. So just, it's very dangerous. This misophonia.
[00:21:24] Adeel: Yeah. Oh
[00:21:25] Lynn: yeah. But I don't know if I answered your question. I forgot the original question. I
[00:21:29] Adeel: don't even remember the question, but was talking about clocks that reminds me I, I was taking piano lessons not long ago, and there was a, like a ticking clock metronome.
And I could not, I could it was interfering with my timing cuz, because it sounded like a metronome. So anytime I tried to play music, I just could not keep time. That's until I, I feel you, until I smothered it under a giant winter
[00:21:46] Lynn: jacket. So feel you. Yes. And then to me, the second part about having this is also.
Being incredulous that other people are not as triggered and annoyed by that. You know when we're somewhere and it's so loud, I'm like, I can't even hear you. I'm like, doesn't bother you. What? No, I don't notice it. What's wrong with you? ?
[00:22:05] Adeel: Yeah, that's esp. Definitely an espec especially. That's definitely, especially a problem.
Before you know what it is and then you're like, okay, I'm different.
[00:22:13] Lynn: Yes, I know, but even though I know I'm different,
[00:22:15] Adeel: I, yeah, I was gonna say, it doesn't necessarily help, but at least it's the one data. Yeah.
[00:22:20] Lynn: I think I remember your question. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead. Your question was as a therapist, can I help myself?
Oh yeah. And I just think that look, as you get older, I hope that we all, no matter what we're dealing with, that we have some more compassion for ourselves and, that whatever our hangups or neuroses are, and we all have them, that we can be kind to ourselves and, we'll never have other people accept them if we don't accept them for ourselves.
, I tried to practice that and this is just yet another one that I can, I could feel real down about or I can just say, yep, that's just my thing and, love me or leave me. That's what I'm dealing with here.
[00:22:55] Adeel: That's a great point. Yeah. Yeah, self-compassion is, yeah.
Something I've been trying to pro promote more just in, in general, but also it's come up in some Some thoughts of therapy where a lot of folks come on and may have had some tough childhoods or, some chaotic childhoods and there's just a kind of a, maybe like a kind, a wounded self that's inside that has not been healed.
And so there's an idea just trying to talk to that child and just give it some compassion as a way to to heal. That could apply to much more than just misophonia,
[00:23:24] Lynn: but for sure. Are you talking about yourself or you talking about
[00:23:26] Adeel: others or what? no other others in general?
Yeah. Okay. And, yeah for myself, just to some degree there's a lot of, a lot of folks have maybe had parents with anger issues or parents who are maybe alcoholics or maybe there have been some other debts in the family that were tough. But these are all.
Different things I've heard and that always, some well often correlate with some sensitivity to sound. And so self-compassion is a way to heal the person, heal the child who was not supported growing up.
[00:23:55] Lynn: Yeah. Yeah, I heard that in some of the interviews for certain that there is connection to the trauma of childhood to the adult dealing of the sounds.
I I heard that a few times and it can
[00:24:07] Adeel: come out obviously in different ways. I'm misophonia, but sure. But yeah, it's,
[00:24:11] Lynn: Yeah, look, we can't help what happened to us, but we can certainly control what we do with all of that. And, we have choices whether we wanna work on ourselves or not.
Let, let those traumas impact us and give, give us negative experiences as an adult, or we can learn to heal those parts. We have
[00:24:28] Adeel: lots of choice. Yep. Yeah. And the interesting thing there is where I start to think that sound sound is a link to that past.
It's there's a lot of there's a lot of chaos ear early on. There's a lot of walking on eggshells. So I feel like potentially one way Ms. Funny can get, develop or amplify is if there was a lot of walking on eggshells at some point in one's life, especially early on trying not to set off some some volatile situation.
. Switching switch, switching gears. I wanted to talk about, I guess your, you've had music is at least at some point or acting, it sounds like it was a part of your life at some point. I'm thinking music as well. We talked about over email. So his music and music has always has been a big part of my life and a lot of folks coming on, a lot of us are very creative.
Yeah. Do you feel like that has, been a source of comfort, healing, whatever for you? I'm just curious, general, like what you do, first of all, , and then Yeah. I
[00:25:18] Lynn: like helps. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I've always been obsessed with music and I worked at a radio station in high school and did a radio show in college.
I'm a singer and I'm going, I'm getting back into singing right now, musical theater and and then also I'm in the music business. So I have clients who, you know, who I represent artists, composers, bands so singer songwriters, and I also. Tons of music a few times a week generally. And yes, and I'm always listening to music.
I make playlists all the time on Spotify. I'm a music junkie for Oh, I need to follow you
[00:25:51] Adeel: then.
[00:25:51] Lynn: Yeah. Yes, please do. Yeah. I make a lot of playlists. My, actually, my friends are like too many playlists, . I'm like, okay. Because every every, excuse me, every season I make a new list, and it basically becomes a repository for new music and then music that I'm from the past that I just wanna keep listening to again and again.
[00:26:09] Adeel: do you have anything that helps particular air conditioner, hell kind of playlist on Spotify?
[00:26:14] Lynn: Yeah. Yeah. It's, yes. So that. Up until recently, I've been re I, I don't like to live my life with headphones in my ears, . And that's if I'm in a noisy place it's really challenging for me to, or has been, but I'm trying to shift that now, and now I put on music and, and then I tried to shake my head so I can get, if there's a noise, a repetitive noise that's bothering me, it takes a while, even with the music off to not hear it.
But once you shift or leave the room and come back, you don't hear it. So I think that music tends to be, it depends on my mood, but what's been helping most of all is quiet classical. A quiet piano. Yeah. Something really, because I'm very stimulated by lyrics and music that I know, so that doesn't calm me all the time.
Yeah. I, yeah, so I, classical, quiet, classical seems to be helping me a lot.
[00:27:08] Adeel: lately. Yeah, I was thinking about that recently. I've listened to music all my life while working, but I feel like I've, there's so many times when I catch myself like being so distracted and being so into a song that it maybe doesn't help my productivity as much
Yeah. But being my classical is great. But I'm also very into 20th century John Cage stuff, which is, or, get also distracting in some ways.
[00:27:28] Lynn: Hey, I would love to hear your miso playlist.
[00:27:31] Adeel: Yeah I actually do have a miso. I did want a while back, partly I did wanna wear I actually made it collaborative so people can add their favorite I dunno, their favorite tracks that kind of help 'em feel better.
But I think I on the. Yeah. But you guys saw some Oh yeah. No that, that's different. Yeah. No, I also have a, so yeah, I can the mis Yeah. Mis funny app is a yeah, it's an app for just this podcast, but it also has a a tap where you can I have brown noise, white noise, pink noise, like picture.
Yeah, I saw that. Stuff like that. So that's super helpful. Yeah I'll link to that, but yeah, that's a great idea. It's so that, that's nice. But also now, I don't know if you have an iPhone, but this, since I did that app, like they, so the iPhone has a built-in feature where you can turn on a background noise, which will go over everything you're doing.
Like you're on a phone call, you are, anything you're doing it'll play in the background even on top of music that you're listening to, which obviously you wouldn't necessarily wanna do. But that's a nice, because to your point we don't necessarily want to be in headphones all the time, but it's nice to, I have my phone set up, so if I hit the if I even tap the back like three times, it'll turn on white noise, which is cool because if I'm in an emergency, Yes.
I don't want to be fumbling for how to turn on that setting. Yes. But I can just hit a button. If I can hit a button three times and have white noise in my ears. That's pretty sweet. And
[00:28:49] Lynn: I can turn it off. I double tap. You're talking about the back of your phone? Yeah, I do the double tap for for the camera?
[00:28:56] Adeel: But you're saying it's triple You can yeah. You can set a you can, it's all programmable, so you can set different buttons to do different things on a triple tap or, yeah.
[00:29:05] Lynn: Okay. What kind of miso do you have?
[00:29:07] Adeel: What are your triggers? Oh, mine's. Mine's pretty traditional
It is pretty traditional chewing, coughing, throat clearing , yeah. That kind of basically like mouth noise, throat related stuff. And that goes back to, and it's pretty traditional onset, around whatever, like around puberty, parents being the first ones.
Thinking that I was just, and me thinking of just being, being a teenager kind of thing. But, not realizing till much later that, oh, this is far more than that. And
[00:29:37] Lynn: were they sensitive to it? Did
[00:29:38] Adeel: share that with 'em or? No? No. To this day. Yeah. Which is Yes. To this day.
Which is yeah. Yep. That's did you know that you do this podcast? No. Nope. ? No. Yeah. Interesting. I was almost gonna break the, break it earlier this year. And it's just complicated. It's yeah it's, there's, going back to What I said earlier. There's just a lot of that.
There's just years of the decades actually now, of that, the shame and the guilt and is it worth it at this point? Only one of my parents is actually even living right now, so it's like worth it at this point. There's
[00:30:13] Lynn: also, take care at this point, would they be so shocked?
[00:30:16] Adeel: And I pretty sure oh no they were definitely, yeah, they definitely, but then it gets, it'll get rolled, as as it did for a, another guest earlier. I'm sure it'll get rolled into some kind of a religious conversation. So it's I want to deal with that. I honestly pro I probably should, but it's it's one of those easier said than done kind of conversations.
[00:30:33] Lynn: I would ju it's just interesting because not only do you have it, but you spend quite a lot of time Yes. In the community. Yes. And this is your podcast, so Yes. It's a big part of what you do beyond.
that you've experie indeed experienced. Yeah,
[00:30:45] Adeel: indeed. So indeed. Yeah. And there's more I wanna do, I want to frame like we we, I, we talked about briefly, I'm trying to work on music related to misophonia, so I want to be even more involved. So yeah, at some point it'll come out at at some point I'm sure it'll come out.
Cuz I'm doubling down, tripling down on this. Yeah, for sure. Because this is me. It's not just which I think a lot of us realize it's not just an annoyance to sound, there are all these different layers and dimensions and repercussions on relationships as we're, we're just talking about right now that it's, yeah, I don't know.
It's deep unexplored landscape of humanity , I feel.
[00:31:18] Lynn: Yeah. And I imagine also, I don't know, what's your, I don't know what your background is ethnic wise or, religion. You mentioned religion, but I'm assuming that there's. some differences there too, for how . , might, what is your background?
[00:31:30] Adeel: introducing? Oh yeah. No. Yeah, I take background as in, in, in Indian pack, Indian Pakistanian. So half and a half. Okay,
[00:31:35] Lynn: gotcha. Are you a first generation?
[00:31:37] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah. My parents yeah, I was born in Canada and but my parents were immigrated in the sixties,
[00:31:42] Lynn: Say that's my story.
My parents, I'm also first generation, my parents immigrated in the sixties
[00:31:47] Adeel: as well. Yeah. That was a big time to get away from wherever we . My parents were sure they were Exactly. This is the place. Yeah. The yeah. The I guess the the fun sixties over here, the hippies, they weren't exactly hippies, but but yeah, my
[00:32:00] Lynn: parents were definitely, yeah, a lot of people.
But I'm just thinking about, in terms of other people, other listeners who might not wanna share with their families. That not only because of their own, Shame or fears, but they're cultural that my parents, are, from Israel, they're both born in Poland.
They're, yeah, I consider them Holocaust survivors. And, there wasn't a lot of patience for all kinds of things. Which would be including like this thing they'd never heard of, that they wouldn't be very, understanding of, or, just get over it a mentality. So
[00:32:29] Adeel: When you put Mrs. Funny against the Holocaust, I would definitely take Mr.
[00:32:33] Lynn: Definitely do we have to choose? Do we have to choose? But if we do, we have to choose, which is worse?
[00:32:38] Adeel: Sometimes it feels tough, but No. Yeah,
[00:32:41] Lynn: I would, the Holocaust is probably worse than misophonia, but , yes.
When I'm having a real trigger, I should just think, thank goodness I'm, not a concentration camp. And that should help. This is a really fun conversation to compare miso to.
[00:32:53] Adeel: Yeah. think this is the first time anyone's, yeah. Anyone's compared that I'm sure somebody listening is like having a, maybe a more difficult time comparing them
Or maybe we'll have an opposite opinion. I don't know. But yes.
[00:33:04] Lynn: But not to make light of that, of course. And I think that, in terms of I do tend to, I think that humor and making light of things. Denying, your experience is helpful for me at least, that, not to take things so seriously and, we're here for just a limited amount of time and we're all doing our best.
And I sure am trying, and, and so not to take yourself too seriously,
[00:33:28] Adeel: humor is a great coping mechanism that comes up a lot. , just, if we, sometimes, somehow, sometimes if we can, somebody's triggering you, they don't have misophonia, but if a tasteful joke can be made to lighten the situation, a lot of the times it somehow tells our brain that, okay, this is not a threatening situation.
So Yeah. Oh, obviously in, for the folks who are triggered by, other people, maybe not. It's probably hard to joke with the air conditioner, but , but definitely,
[00:33:53] Lynn: Oh, I have . Oh, I do. And what about.
[00:33:59] Adeel: What about actually, that reminded me. Like a lot of us have, you don't have to tell us, but comorbid situ conditions, maybe I don't know, other like OCDs or anx anxiety is it, have there been other things that kind of maybe overlap with misophonia a little bit in, in, in your life?
[00:34:13] Lynn: I swallowed everybody. I'm so sorry.
[00:34:15] Adeel: Swallowed some water. I didn't even notice, but good. I'll cut it out if I we're doing editing.
[00:34:20] Lynn: No, I'm very, I'm so conscious right now of every sound I make, I'm starting to, I'm trying to sit very still and not swallow or breathe. Yeah. I don't, nothing comes to mind.
. , when, you know the DSM four , it's the book
[00:34:31] Adeel: of all the the, yeah, the psychiatry codes or psychology
[00:34:35] Lynn: codes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It basically represents all the conditions, so all the psychological conditions and the first day of psych school. Our professor said we all have everything to a smaller less, to a small large degree.
It's just, what makes it problematic is it becomes IEDs your ability to work or play or have relationships like when it interferes in, your life. That's when that's problematic. But we all have a little, yeah, OOC d we all have a little depression. We all have a little bit of that.
That's part of the human condition and I hope we have all the varying things because that's what makes us whole functioning humans. Yeah. But but I wouldn't say that I have, I have moments of things, but no, I wouldn't say I, I mean I, sometime I contracts I get a little bit cause I write contracts and I get a little bit oc d about formatting.
Yeah. My coworkers chagrin. But no I wouldn't think that I do. This is the big piece for me. I.
[00:35:28] Adeel: Have you you get a, you, a lot of clients in your various careers or even in your musical career. Have you met anyone else who has misophonia? Do you know? No.
. Not unusual. Yeah. Yeah. No, because most of us don't even know what it is and until, later, so Yeah. But I'm curious.
[00:35:45] Lynn: Yeah. No. I ha I haven't, but now I maybe I'll, I, it's, remember PeeWee's great adventure when somebody stole his bicycle and then everywhere he looked, he saw bicycles,
So I think once you start, have the awareness of something, you'll see it a lot more. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:36:00] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, I guess we're getting close to an hour of, is it really, it just flies by even It does a million times. Yeah. But Yeah, I guess a anything else you want to share about I dunno what you've learned in the last four years or so?
[00:36:16] Lynn: My, my fridge just turned on, so what did you say? What did you say? ,
[00:36:20] Adeel: if we hear a big hammer hitting metal or plastic
[00:36:22] Lynn: or something. So when I was in la I spent a lot of time researching really quiet fridges and, but I was also quite far from the fridge. And I found a really quiet one, but something happened in the move from the fridge, from LA in New York, and now it's louder than usual.
So I'm having to make a light decision about do I get a new fridge? Do I get a fridge guy in here to just see if they can quiet a little bit more or, and of course every fridge person would say this is normal. And so we've to find a really sensitive fridge. Or a woman or a person. Yeah. But anyway, sorry, what did you say?
[00:36:55] Adeel: com, . I dunno what, but I don't know what I said, but now I'm curious what was the fridge that you found that was quiet?
[00:37:01] Lynn: Do you remember? Oh, yeah. What brand is it? It's a I got it at Source Lowe's. At Lowe's. It's a woke World. World
and yes, it's quite, and I actually, I bought one and then it was really loud and then they exchanged it and that version was quiet. So the one that I got was, it was the same exact brand, but it was
[00:37:28] Adeel: off. Yeah. What was the brand again? I think we, it hard Whirlpool. It was Whirlpool.
[00:37:31] Lynn: Whirlpool. Okay. Whirlpool. But I'm not sure I can find out the exact Yeah. If people wanna
[00:37:36] Adeel: know the people I think will wonder I will I recently just got a fridge, but we are remodeling our kitchen and I researched microwaves. There's one soft closed microwave supposedly by Breville.
Oh. It reduces the sound by at least 80% when you close the door oh,
[00:37:50] Lynn: does that sound
[00:37:50] Adeel: bother you? Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah,
[00:37:53] Lynn: there's something about, air condition bother me, but when I'm sweating my butt off and I turn my AC off, it doesn't bother me that much because I know that it's really giving me something that I truly need.
Yeah. Like a microwave, because it's short term that I know, my, my kettle going, like I'm getting that the thing that I need from it, so it doesn't bother me. But if somebody else was doing it, I'd be like, when is that? Can you please stop? Micro, micro wav. ,
[00:38:17] Adeel: Yeah. Oh that that makes me want to ask.
lot of us when we don't get triggered by a person, then we get, pretty dark thoughts about what we maybe want to do with the person. When you're triggered more by inanimate objects, do you blame the object or do you blame the person or blood?
[00:38:33] Lynn: No, the person. Yeah, the humans.
Yeah. Yes. The people who think that it's okay to have a rat junky air conditioner on top of their roof that they don't listen to, but we're all, cuz there are a lot of apartments right over it. Oh, yes. No, I totally blame humans Okay. For that in many things. Okay.
[00:38:49] Adeel: On that we have common ground
[00:38:52] Lynn: for sure. Yeah, for sure. I don't love those, the, it's usually the humans for sure. Yeah. Cool. But, that's interesting. I I needed a tea kettle and, an electric tea kettle. Cause I, I make a lot of tea and . I think I went through five or six before.
I just ended up using the one that was at my mother's apartment because they all, I couldn't find one that didn't beep, , beep. And I was like, what? Oh, yeah. I needed a quiet, when it boiled the beep and when you wanted to press it beeped. And I was, that was a hard journey for YouTube
Yeah. That I wouldn't share with people because you just seem like a crazy person. But yes. I look at my Amazon history sometimes and I see six kettles that were return, or maybe it was three. I'm exaggerating, but I just have too bass
[00:39:33] Adeel: Amazon basics. Yes. But does it bele? No. No. It doesn't mean, it doesn't, it just clicks when it deactivates
[00:39:39] Lynn: the bar link.
So good. That's the perfect, by the way, the sub zeros, if you can afford them, are really the ones to get if you're remodeling. Oh, for fridges. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Those are super quiet. This is fun talking about miso on my Friday afternoon.
[00:39:54] Adeel: Yeah. No, it's great. Especially since it sounds like you don't know anybody who has it and it's no,
[00:39:59] Lynn: I'm all away alone in my little miso world.
[00:40:01] Adeel: Yeah. But it's great. And you're not the only one. A lot of people have come on. You've even have known about it much longer and they're like, this is the first time I've talked about it with anybody. And so it's, it was an honor.
[00:40:12] Lynn: You know what, it was really interesting to discover you in this podcast and starting to listen the, it's wow.
I, it's a whole community that I didn't know about and that I feel it's quite a community. Yeah. Yes. And I feel it does feel some sense of, wow. I feel seen and underst. It's really helpful. Thank you for doing this.
[00:40:30] Adeel: No, of course. And I was gonna say, now that you're in New York, I mean I've had a few people on in the in, in, in the New York area.
A couple of them are singers, musical theater actors. Actors photographers. If you go, I can obviously shoot an email, but Chloe and yeah, there's Christina's photographer. There's a bunch of people that, that, I would love to meet folks. You might go, where are you?
Oh I'm in Minnesota. Okay. Yes.
[00:40:50] Lynn: Oh,
[00:40:51] Adeel: we part half a country in in St. Paul?
[00:40:54] Lynn: In St. Paul. Oh, okay. Cuz I worked at NPR for a while. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was so lawyer a couple years ago. I did live from here.
[00:41:02] Adeel: Oh wow. Okay. Cool. Did you know that show live from here? No, I don't.
[00:41:06] Lynn: It used to be it used to be you know it, hold on.
Please hold. it's called Kalana Garrison. Keeler, oh, yes. Yeah. American Prairie Home Companion.
[00:41:15] Adeel: Yeah.
[00:41:16] Lynn: Prairie Home. Yeah. So after Garrison left it became live from here, so I was, yeah. Yeah. So I did a lot of work with Min, I love Minneapolis.
[00:41:22] Adeel: No, it's great. Yeah. I think I live near his the bookstore that he started it's in St.
Paul and Snell
[00:41:28] Lynn: Avenue. Oh yeah. I love that. Is that where you're from? No. You said you're from Canada?
[00:41:32] Adeel: No. I'm from Canada. Yeah. Yeah. But then I was in San Francisco for quite a while, so I'm sure I was in, I dunno if you were in LA for a while. Maybe. We have, we crossed highways at some point and I lived
[00:41:42] Lynn: in San Francisco too, oh,
[00:41:43] Adeel: you did? Okay. I was there from oh one to 16
[00:41:45] Lynn: Yeah, I was there from oh two to oh five. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I went to law school there.
[00:41:53] Adeel: Ah, cool. Okay. Interesting. Yeah, no this has been great. Yeah, maybe. We'll, yeah we'll connect again, over email. The, I can connect you with some of the folks in New York.
[00:42:02] Lynn: That's great. And when you're in New York, let's,
[00:42:04] Adeel: I would love to yes. You wanna see, what do you do? I'm just
[00:42:06] Lynn: curious if you have dinner, what do you do when you sit down and have dinner
[00:42:10] Adeel: with people? Yeah, so it is I'd like to be somewhere where it's not pitch like like super quiet, okay. If it's at home, I'd like to have some music in the background or I'd like to be I'd generally be eating pretty quickly or just, moving around the room, , but, music's good.
[00:42:28] Lynn: Is it every person, every meal, or is it,
[00:42:31] Adeel: I would say it's most, my, younger kids don't bother me so much because my brain somehow doesn't assign.
A threat to them. Okay. But yeah, but it's, yeah, it could be anybody. It's not yeah, it could be anybody. Pretty equal. I don't feel like it's it used to be just parents growing up, but then it but then this kind of all I was around, but then it expanded to pretty much anybody.
If I'm in a restaurant and and around the person at the next table is if I'm noticing it, they'll annoy me as, anybody else will.
[00:43:00] Lynn: But if you're sitting at a restaurant with a friend , what do you do?
[00:43:04] Adeel: Yeah, that's a good question. So one thing I do, so if it's some, if, there's situations where you can't just.
make a scene.
[00:43:12] Lynn: Yeah. Yeah. You can't get
[00:43:13] Adeel: up and you can't, yeah. It's not appropriate to say, just to say something. So I think I just take it one course, one one course at a time. Okay. And I will
[00:43:23] Lynn: you try not to focus on
[00:43:24] Adeel: the mouth area? Yeah. And one thing I, yeah. Yeah. So one thing I'll definitely do is not look because the visual I wanna cut the visual trigger that. Another thing I tell people, I don't always remember this, but I try to tell myself to that, that, the meal is gonna probably end in what, 20, 15, 20 minutes. And so if I can just make it, then I can get up and relax. I don't think I can do this, just go to the bathroom maybe a few times just to kinda calm myself down a little bit, or just having a change
[00:43:54] Lynn: of.
So having a long, fancy meal for a couple hours is torture for
[00:43:58] Adeel: you. It's torture. And another thing that really gets me, and I think it's because I could get triggered, is if it takes forever to get the bill, oh, , I get
[00:44:07] Lynn: crazy. That drives me crazy too, but I don't know if it's me so related.
[00:44:10] Adeel: No, it's fine. It's, yeah, I don't, I think I honestly, I think it's, I think it's separate, but it would be bad if, it would be exponentially bad if I was getting triggered and the bill was taking too long.
[00:44:20] Lynn: Sure. Oh, totally. If you're in an environment where triggers are around and you know that, then you wanna just get outta here, there.
That makes a lot of sense. Do you talk about, I know just I'm curious do you talk about what do people do, what do, like for pe for your partners who don't have it what do they do in terms of eating, knowing that's a trigger? How should people help people with meo food triggers?
[00:44:44] Adeel: Yeah. That's complicated. Yeah, in a lot of cases yeah, if you have a partner, it's, they're, they'll general, they're not gonna do things on purpose. Although, there was one time when somebody came on and he said he had an ex that like sh she would if she didn't want him to be around when she was maybe checking her phone or something, she would like trigger by making a, the tapping sound or something that she knew Okay.
Was a trigger. And so passive of aggressive. But yeah, obviously that didn't last, but and even more sadly, there, there have been people have come out and said that their mothers, when they were kids would, or dads would do it on purpose because they thought that, I don't know, there is a punishment, but that's a whole other level of of nastiness.
But very, but yeah, I guess with partners in a lot of cases, people are generally supportive and we'll be,
[00:45:31] Lynn: but if you and I were sitting down to a meal Yeah. , what would I do? What would I, what would you need me to do? Or what should I be doing to help you while I'm eating my meal across from you?
[00:45:42] Adeel: Yeah. So I guess one of the things would be things like obviously, treating with your mouth clothes. So you take take care of the basic manners. then another thing another thing that personally just gets me is if I can hear you know how sometimes you're eating and then it, then you hear then sometimes, like in your the, whether it's the food hasn't gone down completely the throat, but it's like you need to clear a throat for me that if if you need to clear, if somebody needs to clear the throat, but they keep talking through it.
, that's . That makes clear distracting. I can't tell. I don't know if you Yeah. Is I need to generally. And so it could be a case of drinking, quietly drinking the water just to get it down. But that kind of sonic texture of of where you can tell that there's, your throat's not clear, but some people just feel like they can just some people just kinda keep talking through it.
Then I can hear that change in the voice. And that kinda rattling in the throat. Interesting. That's that's a big trigger for me because, I think that's, my parents used to do that all the time and that, that's where it developed for me. I believe. So if I hear that in other people, that becomes a trigger.
So I would, I, my preference is to, if I'm having a meal with somebody, to, for them to just chew and just completely swallow so that when they speak, it's just just like we're speaking right now. Interesting. So that I can't tell that you're we're, that we're eating,
[00:47:00] Lynn: Interesting. Good to know.
[00:47:02] Adeel: . Interesting. We'll come out and we'll have lunch sometime and Yes. Practice . And you
[00:47:05] Lynn: can teach me exactly. Yeah. ideals. So nice to talk to you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for doing this. This is a real service. Of course. Truly. Of course. I hope that that people are helped.
[00:47:17] Adeel: Thank you Lynn. Really interesting conversation here and I hope yeah, I hope we can meet up at some point. If you like this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or rating and just hit the five stars. Wherever you listeners podcast, you can hit me up by email at hello miss point podcast.com.
I'll go to the website, use funny podcast. Dot com. It's usually easiest. Just to leave a message on funnies podcast, support the show by visiting patreon paton com slash funnies. The music is always Moby. Until next week, wish you peace and.