S6 E9 - 10/10/2022

S6E9 - Makayla

Makayla has misophonia and was also recently diagnosed with autism. This is a long one where we talk about Misophonia’s place in neurodivergent culture, her experience growing up with miso and now having the language to express to others how she feels, her coping methods, how she focuses on her nervous system, and we end with some thoughts on the empathetic superpowers misophones can demonstrate to the world.


Disclaimer: These are machine-generated transcripts and so are not completely accurate. However they will be manually updated over time until they are.

[00:00:00] Adeel: Makayla, welcome to the podcast. Good to have you here.

[00:00:03] Makayla: Thank you for having me.

I'm so excited and happy International Day of Peace while we're recording this.

[00:00:09] Adeel: Oh, yes. Okay. , yeah. Recording on the 21st of September. Yeah, that's great. Happy International Peace Day. So yeah, mck, do you want to, tell people, where you are in the international community and what.

[00:00:21] Makayla: Yeah, so I'm in Washington State in the San Juan Islands, and so we're the most northern islands in the Puget Sound, and we can, I can see Canada from where I live most days, and so that's fun. Love living here. I live in the woods. I am a neighbor to a donkey, and luckily the donkey does not annoy me, only the barking dogs, but that's a whole other thing,


[00:00:46] Adeel: we'll probably get up to get to that

[00:00:48] Makayla: at some point, but Yeah, exactly. But I love living in the woods. It's great. I, it's a lot of peace. I get to go to a lot of beaches here and so it is nice living in a more secluded area for those reasons, finding peace and finding our moments of solitude.

But it is, it has its quirks for sure. But for what I do, I've been nanny nannying for about 10 years, and so I just work with kids. And it's amazing. It's super great. Amazing. There's some triggers that come up, but I handle it.

[00:01:20] Adeel: Yeah. That's great. Oh, what's the what's, so what's, is it pretty easy to get a yian gig there around where you are?

Yes. Is there a decent

[00:01:27] Makayla: population there? Yes. So there is definitely a decent population of people who stay here year round. And there's just a shortage of caretakers and and people are, a lot of people are moving here to start businesses and work and stuff. And so there's a lot of kids who don't have care and are just like, thrown with, oh, this person for this day, or, so I just try and help where I can, but yeah, the triggers are, I'm, the more time I spend with a kid, I usually start feeling, that trigger feeling around them.

, especially with the eating, cuz they're learning how to eat and I try to just. Move around that, or I've been doing it for long enough where I've established some things.

[00:02:15] Adeel: Yeah. By moving around do you mean I don't know, pace going to another room or getting outside? Taking a break or, yeah, or communicating with the child that maybe they should do something slightly different.

[00:02:29] Makayla: Yeah. So I typically love to do snacks in the car. And because I can turn on my music, I'm focused on driving, they're behind me, I can't see them. So that just avoid all like visual problems and, but then, they are behind me. So it is a odd situation, but I. go with it, and it works.

And then if they are like eating, I, when I was younger, I used to feed everyone dinner and then I'd go around the corner in the hallway and just sit on the floor until they were done. And I never said anything. I would just feed them and disappear. And then when they were all done, or if they needed something from the fridge, they'd ask and I'd get it up and get it to them and just go back to the floor because I just, yeah, I couldn't be in there.

It just was too bad. And so that's, I don't know what they thought about that, but I was with them and would play with them and whatnot. It was just the eating part. I had to go away. Makes sense. And then there was some make sense I guess repetitive sounds or squeaky sounds that would bother me.

And I would just okay, let's stop making that sound now. Or, distract and, whatever. Just keep moving on to something new. Kids are great cuz they love new things and so we can distract them easily,

[00:03:43] Adeel: yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. You were talking about the car being a refuge.

Cuz usually when I hear about a car mentioned on the, on this podcast, it's like a torture chamber, but it's usually when the person's, the microphone's in the back seat. But you are in control over the volume. You're not necessarily looking at the kid Exactly. Unless you need to look in the rear mirror.

So I can see


[00:04:02] Makayla: that would be. I think because I definitely have resonated with a lot of people on the podcast before with the car trauma because I lived in Oregon growing up and my grandparents lived here and so I, up and down I five, a lot of my childhood and so cars were a torture chamber for me and now I'm able to like, manage it a little bit better, but it's taken some time for sure.

[00:04:25] Adeel: Yeah. That's, yeah, that's interesting. Okay, so yeah, so man, so did you then grab, did you move here and take this vocation to, escape a life that was a little bit more mph, phonically incompatible. Is it something you chose on purpose to, to find that, that piece specifically for this condition?

[00:04:42] Makayla: No, not at all. I was definitely escaping my life by moving here, but yeah, nothing work related. I just moved here knowing that I could find a job cuz everyone's hiring pretty much. And so I was like I'll figure out something. But then kids just always follow me for some reason. And it's funny because of misophonia, because I wouldn't necessarily like my misophonia, truist self wouldn't like to be around kids, but my personality and my nature.

Love kids. And so it's really this like double-edged sword love hate relationship. And so I just saw a need and I love it.

[00:05:26] Adeel: Yeah. Okay. That's great. Yeah, that's interesting. My son, cuz a, a friend of mine who lives in Portland was recently Instagraming pictures of amazing pictures that I was like, where the hell is this?

And it was the San Juan Islands up near, up in the Washington. I was like, suddenly looking for real estate . Yeah. If there's a you should

[00:05:43] Makayla: visit

[00:05:43] Adeel: seriously. Anyone definitely wanna visit. I actually will be in Seattle soon two visit family. So maybe I'll

[00:05:50] Makayla: you just take a little ferry.

Not a little. It's cute. Actually. Take a fairy and it's fun. There's fun shops and pretty good food. But we'll have to

[00:05:58] Adeel: do a plenty of podcast convention in the Santa Juan Islands one day. Get everybody over there. Yes.

[00:06:03] Makayla: We can just go to the beach and listen to the waves and just

[00:06:06] Adeel: relax. Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh, sounds amazing.

Sounds beautiful. Okay yeah, maybe let's back up to I know there's a lot of stuff and you sent me, yeah, you sent me an email or an Instagram message about some stuff you wanted to talk about, but maybe we should is let's back up to something you said earlier about wanting to escape your life.

Is that you know how a lot of us a lot of us had like some kind of complex trauma early on in our lives is are we like talking about, chaos at home, things that may have,

[00:06:34] Makayla: it's everything all at once, but everything that you didn't expect is my situation intriguing?

Okay. Yes. So I actually moved here to move out of my parents' house because, it was ending the pandemic, but like we're still in the pandemic. It was that time And of oh, it's getting better. And I just needed, I needed a way. I graduated high school during the pandemic, decided not to go to college because all my plans changed.

And I was like, this is not whatever. I'm just gonna let it go for now. It's not the right time. And my grandparents have lived here for the past 30 years. And so I was like, I'm just gonna go move to the island, take care of grandma. And as soon as I made that decision for myself, my parents also decided to move in with my grandma as well.

Ah. And so I had gotten my own, like tiny house here. And so I was living on the other side of the island, I would check in on her, whatever. But then my parents moved into the house. And so after I was done working on the farm with the tiny house, I, my parents. We got a trailer for me to move back to the property.

And so it was like the perfect store. My dad needed a job change. My brother wanted, my brother and I have always wanted to live here and we needed to take care of grandma. So it was this, okay, this is what's happening and now we're here and we love it. And life is certainly not easy. It's been a lot of curve balls and a lot of growth, but we're here and we're glad to be here.

But in moving here, this is when I started taking misophonia seriously because I was living in a tiny house with another human that wasn't my family. And I explained things before we had moved in bef and that was fine. But then as time went on, obviously triggers start popping up. You see a misophonia meltdown and.

Eyebrows start to get raised of are you even normal ? And did you know this person beforehand or Yes, I did. They were friends. Okay. Yeah. And I felt very comfortable with it, and I was like, we're in the woods, we'll have space, whatever. But, inevitably, something happens.

But it was truly a blessing in disguise because they really cared for me and saw how much of distress that I was in and was able to be like, look like, go get help. Go to therapy, do something. They're like, just do something. Just start, because I've always been interested in psychology and the way people work.

I had just never gotten the opportunity to really do a deep dive on myself. And so that's what I did. And I have learned a lot over the past year.

[00:09:19] Adeel: Okay so then you, at that point you decided to see a therapist, like a professional? Yes. Got professional help. Specifically from Theone? Yeah. Okay.

And how did you go about that? Was like a kind of a traditional licensed therapist or yes. Kinda how did you seek that person out?

[00:09:32] Makayla: There's pretty much, there's like private therapists here but there's also just like one building, it's called Compass Health. And so I just went there and I got lucky.

I've had a long history of doctors and therapists and whatever, and we can get into that later, but this time I was like, they're not gonna, they're, there's nothing they can do for me. But I had read about C B T therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and so I was intrigued and so I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go.

And I got lucky. This woman, she was an intern. She wasn't even getting paid. And she went total nerd on misophonia and wanted to learn everything she could. And the ironies was, she was deaf. And so she had hearing aids and so she was able to sympathize with me in a way that no one else had before. And she was like, we are the opposite, and that's okay, but I can understand what you're feeling still.

And so it was a beautiful experience and every week she taught me something new. And I tried to in implement into my life. And so it's been such a growing year.

[00:10:44] Adeel: Wow, that's really interesting. That's beautiful. Yeah. And it's does, yeah, you're right and they're counter opposite in some ways, but able to sympathize.

Yeah, cuz it is it's a debilitating auditory phenomena disorder. What did so how did that start then? She obviously didn't know what Ms. Funny was early on, and what are some of the things that she worked with you on?

[00:11:05] Makayla: So first, getting to, for her to get to know Misson, I just gave her kind of my life story and just yeah, everything that happened, everything I suspected misophonia could be related to because it's, for me, it is so intersectional in so many areas of my life and traumas.


[00:11:25] Adeel: that's what people don't understand that non-SAP phones don't understand is that it's not just being annoyed with sound. Sorry to cut. Sorry to cut in. But it's, this is interesting. It's, yeah, it's very, I intersectional, it's so many different dimensions and layers. So Exactly. Yeah.

[00:11:38] Makayla: And so I was like, I might, I just told her, I was like, I'm not gonna talk about sounds this whole time because all of these facts matter.

I was like, I feel that to my core. And she just listened and then, From there we talked. She was like, okay, so what are your issues right now? And before we had gotten the trailer on our property for me I was sleeping on our couch. And so I had no room no room in the inn, and our house is a loft.

And so every night I could hear my mom snore, and that was a beautiful time in my life, just great , getting no sleep and being triggered all night. Yeah. And so we just, we really focused on my current issues of that time because everything in my life had changed to where I, all the coping skills that I had as a child growing up in my childhood home were out the door.

I was in a completely new space, completely new town, new dynamic with my grandma. And so we just started from zero from where I was and what I was going through. And so the major things that we worked on were being triggered and leaving the situation or having the agency to leave the situation. Because all my life I was in freeze mode pretty much.

When it came to being triggered, I was in fight or flight in other areas of my life, but with, when it came to misophonia, I just froze because I, and just shut down. I just shut down. And so she was like, you can leave. And I was like, I know that, but I need to actually start doing that. And so then I started leaving when I was triggered.

But the thing was is I would leave in a very chaotic way, not dramatic, like when I was a teenager, like stomping at the stair. But I would like. , I was like a cartoon character almost like running through the kitchen ah, don't start eating I'm gonna go now. And so it was just like very chaotic for me and it didn't feel very peaceful and fluid and so we just talked and walked through that and how I can just take a deep breath and be like, thank you for spending time with me.

I love this conversation. I'm gonna go now. Now luckily my family is amazing and will tell me like, Hey, I'm making a sandwich. I'm gonna be upstairs in a few minutes. Just so you know, like you need to wrap up your conversation pretty much cuz they know I'm gonna leave anyways. And so it's, yeah, it's been a learning experience, but we really worked on like how to leave like a normal human, , like we nicely and then it also helped me just.

get to a place where I could make accommodations for myself. And I didn't have to just sit there and suffer and think that I was crazy and have these intrusive thoughts, but that I could be like, okay, there's a trigger happening right now. I can do something about it. I can pay attention to my breath if that's what I need to do in this situation.

I can walk away, I can put in earbuds, all the little techniques and tools that we can have. I just was like, I'm actually gonna use them now. And so it was very empowering to, to be able to put in my head plugs or earplugs and and just feel calm for once. That was amazing feeling.

[00:15:17] Adeel: Yeah.

That's great. Getting you work, working to get out of the free situation. And in that, in the situation where you were hearing your mom sleeping with like earplugs, the solution there to make that go away or I'm curious how you man, how you managed to get over that.

[00:15:31] Makayla: Yeah, so just from like baseline, I am a pillow over my head sleeper . And and I genuinely feel like that is misophonia related. Like how could it not be? I don't think my neck likes it at all. I think it's all my ears. And so I think that's funny. So I would do that, but then I could obviously still hear, and so then I just kept adding things and so I got like a headband with Bluetooth speakers in them that I could lay down on. And so I would just play like chakra music or brown noise all night. And it was, Just, it would lull me to sleep and it was great. And then if I did wake up in the middle of the night and that was off of my head, cuz it would slip off sometimes and I could hear hurt, that's when it got tricky because the house was so quiet that I could still like, hear her almost.

Or even the music, I thought that I was hearing her, it was definitely a mind thing. And so then just to calm my mind, I'd put earplugs in and then the sound band and that would, get me back to sleep. But there were also nights where I would just sit on the deck outside and just look at the stars or something because I was just like, I can't be in there.

I just can't be in that space.

[00:16:56] Adeel: And how is it now then? Overall like living sleeping in your house? Yeah. With your family.

[00:17:01] Makayla: It's good. So now I have my own trailer, and so I do have my own space and I have had to make some accommodations with that, but it's pretty good. I, our family obviously with me doesn't eat together.

Even just them in general. They just, everyone's, my brother has soccer, parents want to eat when they want, and so we've just thrown that tradition out the window. Yeah.

[00:17:24] Adeel: And it's, but it's usually the first thing that goes.

[00:17:26] Makayla: Exactly. And so eating is I just try to avoid it.

And if someone is about to eat, they just tell me, and then I maneuver myself away. And then, but we are still able to spend time together and but everyone in my family does have their own trigger to me. And so they're, and it's all different. But it's all the same feeling that happens.

And so

[00:17:51] Adeel: do they all help to accommodate you? Is there anyone, any, anyone in your family who's the not really into it? ?

[00:17:57] Makayla: So I mean it, I've had a miso misophonia for 11 years now, so , when I say this, I want to emphasize that it has taken this long to get to this place where we are.

Yeah. But everyone has been very accommodating. Not, I wouldn't say accommodating at first, but aware of what I'm going through. And it took them a long time to realize how real this was for me and how intense it was for me. But once we got to that place, they have been incredible. And in, we still have like plastic bowls.

We do have ceramic ones, but. , just in case I'm there. , someone uses the plastic and then we have bamboo spoons and forks and knives. And so we, and then what else have they done? I'm trying to think. Yeah, just, it's just communication at this point. Yeah. And

[00:18:52] Adeel: then, yeah, it's often what it is.

It's I think our minds, our lizard brains, like if they can if somebody's at least aware and making some effort, then our brain unassigned the threat that Exactly. We would've normally assigned to them. So that helps

[00:19:08] Makayla: a lot. Exactly. And that's what's been really helpful for me at least, is just identifying it, whether that's in my brain out loud or even someone else and just saying Hey, I need to.

finish my cracker or something. And I'm like, okay, thank you. Yeah. And it's weird because you sound crazy and you sound like you're controlling what they're eating, but it's just, it's a brain thing. Like you just can't explain it and . Yeah. But everyone's been really good and really kind. But I also don't spend like a ton of time with my family.

It's not like I see them all the time and hanging out with them all day. It's very brief and we connect, but then we go our own separate ways and do our own thing. So I think just that rhythm has also helped.

[00:20:04] Adeel: Yeah, that's interesting. And I, yeah, I always, I ask has how has, I'm sure they'll still come up also later, but how has, if and how has misophonia affected your relationship with your family?

Causing some people are completely ostracized from an early age, which is really sad. It sounds like it sounds like you guys have created some kind of a b Yeah, I know. It sounds like you guys have created some kind of a balance where they're very accommodating or at least tr are aware and try to be, but you, it's not like you spend all day right next to each other.

Yeah, exactly. There's a balance that has evolved that's probably the best we can hope for. Yeah. Do you wanna, ma do you wanna maybe go back to let's kind of the ear early days for you and when you started noticing this and how it evolved?

[00:20:43] Makayla: I have now been diagnosed with autism, and so there have been things in my childhood that were like, like I was familiar with the triggering feeling when misophonia came into the picture.

I was familiar with that. Something feels off. And so there are sensitivities that I had as a child. That, were throughout my childhood, but then when misophonia happened, that's when whoa, this is something real for real. This is another level of crazy. And I use crazy.

I know some people don't like that word, but I'm like, it's spicy. Like I'm interesting. Like you don't have , you're, you don't have a brain like me. And so I mean it in and in a very endearing way. But yeah. So there was some sensitivities and one being I listened to last week's episode as we were recording this, and it was Robert and he was triggered by his mother's voice.

Yeah. And it triggered a memory of mine. And I was very uncomfortable around my, one of my grandmas. And she has a very high pitched voice and one of the highest pitches, highest pitch voice I've ever heard. And so apparently that was the thing. I was like two. And so I don't remember it. I just remember being told like, yeah, you didn't really like grandma when you were a kid.

And so that raises a red flag in my mind being like that. That was definitely related, but then it wasn't until I was nine that misophonia just plopped in my life and has never left. And I was just eating waffles with my brother one morning. That's all it was. And he was just smacking his food, that's all.

And I just had that like enraging feeling and intrusive thoughts at the ripe age of nine. And I asked him to stop and my dad said, if you have a problem with it, you can go to the other room. And I have since talked to him about that and I was like, dad c it sounds like something you would say is my memory right?

And he was like, yeah, that's definitely what I said. Because you, I'm teaching you if you don't like someone something that you have the power to move out of that situation. And so in that moment, he was really trying to he didn't know what was going on obviously, but he was trying to empower me to walk away from bad situation.

But in turn, what that, what he said taught me was, no one else is feeling like this. And now I have to, now I like, it's all me. It's, this is my problem that I have to deal with and I have to walk away with and Right. And so I don't, I'm obviously don't have any grudges towards him and what he said cuz he was just being a parent.

Absolutely. Doing what he, trying his best. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, just trying his best and but it's interesting to think I, cause I remember that moment so specifically that it's I just remember being like, oh, so now it's my problem, like no one else is hearing what I'm hearing.

[00:24:06] Adeel: Yeah, that's interesting. So it was like a switch that morning where so it's probably not the first time waffles be were being eaten in the house, but absolutely not. Something about that. Yeah. Asking me about that day, was there anything going on around your life, around that time that, that was, I don't know, different or train or changing?

[00:24:23] Makayla: Yes, but here's where the, it's been 11 years and trauma makes your mind like scrambled eggs. And so I don't know what came. Before or after, but during that time my grandparents living in the San Juan Islands had a house fire and unrelated to the house fire. My grandfather was in the hospital for about a year.

He had an infected hip. And so that happened when I was nine, but I don't know which happened first and gotcha. I know the house fire was in January when I was nine, but I don't know what, I don't know where it lands on the timeline, which is frustrating to me cuz I want to have that timeline accurate.

But some things we just won't have the answers to.

[00:25:13] Adeel: Yes. So you don't remember what day that was, where you were eating the

[00:25:16] Makayla: waffles? No, I wish I'd marked it on my calendar. Like I felt crazy this morning or something. I or like a journal or something. I just wish there was some evidence because I'm just so curious, honestly.

[00:25:31] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah, no that's, yeah. It's interesting cuz yeah it's I've heard multiple people say they were, grandparent passed away and then they noticed misophonia at the funeral. And that was, and then from that point on it was, came over and so Wow.

Wow. No, a grandparent that they were close to and so yeah. Multiple people we got

[00:25:50] Makayla: Totally, yeah. The trauma and the sensitivity, like it's, it goes together. I don't know how, but if you're a researcher, it goes together. I'm just telling you , this is what my body, my system is telling you.

[00:26:06] Adeel: Yeah. So then how okay.

So yeah, then after that day obviously you were starting, probably starting to get triggered by more things. It's, you said earlier that everyone in your family has their trigger. How did it evolve? Did it just like snowballed pretty quickly?

[00:26:20] Makayla: So it was, I have, I think I have an interesting story, and it's interesting because I feel like my story resonates with so many people that I've listened to.

And so after that incident, then when I was 10, my family decided to move. And so we didn't, we moved to a town where we didn't have a house, but we had friends and so our friends invited them into their home. They are lovely. I'm still friends with them to this day. I don't know how, but it was nine people in one house with my family being in one bedroom.

Yeah. And so you have. Stomping. Oh yeah. Have all the meals snoring and et cetera, et cetera. I don't wanna list everything, but that's just the main ones that I'll say. And so that was in a very intense six months for me. I definitely disassociated. I don't even like from misophonia like the 9, 10, 11, 12 age.

I genuinely don't remember a lot. I think I disassociated from myself and then, so we got through like living with them and then once we moved into our own home and I got my own room, I was so excited. I instantly fell into a very deep depression as a sixth grader or fifth grader, whatever.

And that was really scary. Because I didn't know what was happening and I was pretty sure it was depression because it's, run in my family have been exposed to it, but it was like, I don't know what to do, like what's happening and I'm suffering and then I go to school and I'm tired and I'm annoyed and, just all the things like I know I don't have to explain everything thoroughly to you guys cuz everyone gets it to some extent.

[00:28:17] Adeel: Yeah. Okay, so it was after that your whole family in the room. So these were all stemming, seems like stemming from Misson or did you have the autism? And we were talking earlier about kind in intersectional issues with you. Do you know, was there a timeline or cause and effect of how this kind of how this all happened?

Do you feel like MS is the root of a lot

[00:28:38] Makayla: of this. That's what's confusing to me. And I'm like fairly newly diagnosed with autism, but with autism you can't develop it. You're born with it and misophonia, you develop it, but it's also in your dna. So it's that gray area. We don't know.

But autism to me feels very, it's just like who I am and what I do and how I think misophonia feels like it's another entity that is so deep in the core of who I am. And it like just comes out from time to time. But the depths of how I feel it are like very at.

[00:29:26] Adeel: Gotcha. So autism is, it's something you're born with, but more kind of your baseline.

It's I think autism is considered more of a trait, rather than like a disorder, I believe is how kinda I hope defined. Yeah. But misophonia is more of a just obviously brain.

[00:29:43] Makayla: Oh, sorry, I didn't interrupted.

[00:29:44] Adeel: No. Yeah. This funny like I think you were saying earlier is yeah. Very much a, a deep thing that comes out like a Jekyll and Hyde kind of situation when you triggered.

Yes. Yes. And and then the dissociation that was happening again, that was really a result of kind of that intense, almost claustrophobic environment that you were in.

[00:30:03] Makayla: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Like 100%. I just couldn't deal with it, . And so a part of

[00:30:10] Adeel: that is that when dissociation is also like maybe synonymous with the freeze reaction that you were having, that you were talking about earlier.

[00:30:17] Makayla: Oh, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. Because cuz I never said anything to anyone like, up, up until, I don't know when exactly I said or someone noticed what was happening. I, that's the other part that I don't remember is like, when I actually said something or if my parents noticed I was being triggered and realized the connection, I don't know.

Yeah. When that was, it eventually happened, thank God. But it wasn't for a while and so I was just very just in my body, frozen shameful. Guilty, afraid. Like as a nine

[00:30:54] Adeel: year old girl, what were you af what were you afraid of? Was it just afraid of being

[00:30:57] Makayla: triggered? , I don't even know what I was afraid of.

Yeah. Yeah. It was just my feeling in my body that I could not get away from.

[00:31:07] Adeel: Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. And you brought up shame and guilt. Not obviously you've pretty much every episode talks to that comes up at some point. Was that was that the shame and guilt of not understanding why you are not inter not wanting to interact with your parents or just feeling like you're a burden, that kind of shame and guilt that we all have?

[00:31:25] Makayla: I think it's all above and more like I was also raised in a Christian household and in Christianity, shame and guilt is not taught, but heavily applied and so I think I was like more susceptible to shame and guilt to begin with. My upbringing and then you add misophonia to it and Yeah.

You have intrusive thoughts about hurting your loved ones and yeah, you feel bad and then you react and then you either get in trouble for your reaction and that's, causes more trauma or any or you just feel like a burden. Yeah. It's just it's truly a vicious cycle and Yeah.

Until you are aware of it and have agency and have language, like language, hello. We need to talk about that. Having the language to describe what is going on and how sensitive we are. And cuz this podcast has taught me so many words and like how to explain misophonia to people and like people on the podcast have come on and said things like really, I don't even know what they've said, but just really Put together sentences that only microphones would know, and I like felt it in my gut, like that's what I've been feeling.

Okay. That was just another way to explain it. Yeah. And yeah, I just, I think it all just piled on top.

[00:32:52] Adeel: And then how did you, yeah. How did you sounds like a deep hole that you went into, or what kind of helped you crawl out? Was it something you did or something your family recognized or maybe at school?

[00:33:02] Makayla: I think it was a time thing. My, I think again, a lot was going on. I have, again, very loving parents and a fairly healthy household, and I am very blessed and very grateful for that. But there were definitely things. And so in that time I was also going to church as a family and.

at that age is when, is also the time where I started being triggered at church, which got really dangerous. And that adds to the shame and guilt because I think being triggered in a place that is supposed to be sacred is really damaging for your psyche. Like not physically as far as Ms.

Poya goes. But it was really damaging to my psyche because, I'm taught about the fruits of the spirit and all these things, all these good things that I'm supposed to be, and I know that my true nature can be, but I'm sitting there hearing my father breathe next to me and I just want to kill him.

That's all I could think about. Yeah. And in church, and they're saying, repent, like Jesus loves you. Like you don't need to feel bad. Like you can just. Jesus will forgive you and all these things. And I'm literally thinking about murdering my father right next to me in front of everyone.

I'm like crazy in my head. And so it was just like I, for a while, I, or at one point I definitely thought that I was the devil himself and was like, yep. Cuz everything that I was taught about from the pulpit about the devil I was experiencing, and there was no love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness inside my heart and especially self-control.

Hello. There was just none of that at that time. I was just suffering so bad that I was like, okay, then if I'm not that, then I'm the devil and he's steeped his little claws into my head and I'm just gonna be this way. I'm just gonna be miserable. And so I think, but it's hard cuz I was 12 and so it's I was also going through that Puberty stage.

So it was just all over the place all the time. ,

[00:35:13] Adeel: Did your yeah, no, it's funny when you were saying that, it's like you, I'll watched movie horror movies like The Exorcist or The Omen, and I'm like, yeah, that's there's something new here. This is what I think about

[00:35:24] Makayla: Yeah. It's very haunting. No, this condition is very haunting. I think that is a great word. It just feels, yeah. Like a little horror, like snippet in your brain. Brain just for a little, and then it goes away, but it's just, whoop. There we go.

[00:35:40] Adeel: Yeah. And before, actually, yeah, before before we move on to so what was going on in high school?

You talked about the need for language. What are maybe some of the language pieces that have been valuable for you as you explained Mr.

[00:35:52] Makayla: Well, and, okay. So I would like to preface. Before this that I'm not a big language geek, and so I kind of use language very freely. And yeah, if it resonates.

And if it doesn't. And if you have a different definition, then whatever. Like I don't care. I'm just using language that works for me. So the word sound sensitivity has really helped me explain to other people, is it the right medical term for us? No, but it does. It has helped me at least explain to other people, because the word misophonia is so weird and people think that you're speaking of different language, not even from earth.

Like when we say that, yeah,

[00:36:39] Adeel: people think we're seeing phobia,

[00:36:41] Makayla: Yeah. And it's it's not that. It's not that.

and then the, a great one is just the word overstimulated. , and I know it's super simple, but just like I'm feeling overstimulated right now and it is allowed me to realize that feeling of, oh, I'm about to be triggered, or a trigger is about to happen, or I am triggered, I am overstimulated or whatever.

And so I have, I probably have plenty more. I just am not thinking of them right now, but Oh no, that's

[00:37:19] Adeel: fine. If you think of 'em along the way. Yeah. I'd just be curious as we're talking. But I, cuz I'm sure people are curious about how to explain it to others.

[00:37:26] Makayla: Yeah. But I think the neuro divergent.

and language has taught me a lot about how to understand misophonia more, which I think is really interesting because misophonia hasn't been researched as much. Having more like neurodivergent friends and people with autism, adhd, whatever it might, may be, they somehow seem more understanding and welcoming to misophonia and are able to sympathize with me more.

And it's really interesting.

[00:38:03] Adeel: Yeah. So I was gonna ask the next, Yeah. After yeah. As you're growing up and heading into high school, how did your situ with friends? Were you seeking out new divergent friends? Did you have any issues making

[00:38:14] Makayla: friends? I was, the plot continues and I was.

Still all over the place. Yeah I had a lot of friends actually, but I didn't have a particular friend group. And so at lunch for school, I would, have put my lunch box somewhere, but I would walk around the cafeteria and talk to different people. And so I'm very chatty. I'm very sociable.

I love talking to people. It's it's I guess in terms of the fight, flight or freeze, I feel more like my personality is or the fight part is more like we're just gonna go talk to people and we're just gonna distract our mind and we're gonna get hyper and we're gonna be engaged and just like extra, like almost manic, but not, gotcha. So that was kinda my fight is I would just walk around, be hyper talk to people, oh, you're eating a cracker now I'm gonna go to this new table. And and I was just all over the place and people would say sit down, enjoy, like chill. And I'm like, no, absolutely not.

[00:39:14] Adeel: Yeah. Yeah. lot of us even with families will more likely a walk around cuz we can more quickly move Yeah.

Out of a situation. Yeah.

[00:39:23] Makayla: But then the other thing with my high school experience that is weird is that I actually never went to high school. And so that's an interesting aspect. Our, where I used to live our, which was in the Tacoma area, our ninth graders were in the junior high. And so I went to ninth grade all year and then after that was the end of that year.

I just woke up with a headache one morning and I just felt in my gut it was serious and it wasn't gonna go away, and it really scared me. And so I went to, I, went to the doctor and told them like, I have misophonia. I feel like this is something related to it. I have been going to school. I feel very fatigued and tired and all these things, and they just gave me muscle relaxer and said I'd be okay.

I had a headache for two years after that and Wow. Ms. Poya definitely did not get better, and so I, Dr pretty much dropped outta school at that point. I did online. And I had a bunch of friends, went to school, and then I just disappeared, like absolutely disappeared. PE I would see people in town sometimes and they'd be like, Where have you been?

I almost forgot about you, type of thing. And I'm like, it's okay. I don't want to talk to any of you because I am in so much pain. But yeah, like I didn't care if people forgot about me. I just had no care in the world. And high school just sounded like a war zone to me. Like the lights, the clicking talk, the clock, the people, the gum, everything.

I just couldn't. And so ultimately what I've learned now is I think I was having a oh wait. Oh, sorry. I'm forgetting the word. Oh, I totally lost the word. No worries. No worries. Yeah. But I was, but pretty much my brain was just tired from being around all those people for so long and not having any accommodation.


[00:41:31] Adeel: Oh, so you, so did you ever try to get in accommodations at

[00:41:34] Makayla: school? Never. It was never even a consideration of mine. I just

[00:41:38] Adeel: Did. You, did you know what the term was? Obviously you knew that you had some sensitivities, but was it maybe rap just you, like a lot of us, we don't even think about it cuz we think we're crazy or, yeah. And

[00:41:49] Makayla: So I did have the word, I knew of the word like when I was 14, so it was like a year before head pain started. And I actually, in my ninth grade year, I did have a teacher that said, no gum. I had this thing called misophonia and I walked my little butt up to her desk after class.

The teachers had misophonia? Yeah. Yeah. And I said, I have misophonia too. And she was like, oh my goodness. And she was like, whatever you need, just let me know. And so in her class, I would cover my eyes cuz the lights were too bright and I would plug my ears cuz I could hear the clock or someone chewing or something.

And that's the thing with me is that my triggers expand outside of misophonia. It's not just eating. It also is the clock. It's the lights, it's the washing machine, it's the water pressure, it's the dogs. It's

[00:42:40] Adeel: It's auditory. There's also, yeah, I was gonna ask mis kinesia, you get the visual triggers, but Yes.

By washing machine. Only one. Only

[00:42:48] Makayla: one. This is so interesting to me. I only have one, like I can get visually triggered if I'm like watching someone eat from far away, but I don't really count that as like a specific visual trigger. That's just my eyeballs working and then my brain interpreting it. But my trigger is my mom spins her ankles around in circles for a long time.

Yeah. And I've never seen anyone do it before, but like she just ru rolls her ankles and it bothers me so bad that I would just be like, mom, stop. And she is what am I doing? I'm like, your ankles and you're

[00:43:31] Adeel: being evil. Yeah,

[00:43:32] Makayla: exactly. And even sometimes, like the way she sits with her ankles, it just makes me uncomfortable looking at it.

And I'm just like, can you move your feet in a better position for me please? , it's like really weird and that's where I feel like a bitch sometimes or a control freak or just this crazy person. Cuz I'm like, you need to sit differently for me to feel better, but I'm a completely across the room and I'm probably gonna leave in three minutes because someone's gonna get out food.

So it's I just feel like. I've had friends come into, my family space and they've said do you realize how much your family moves around you? And you only they don't consider each other as much as they consider you. Like they're trying to be so cautious and that's where a lot of guilt comes in.

Cuz I'm like, I know they're doing so much and I'm still feel triggered in some moments, but at least they're doing something. I am so thankful cuz that's, I know I am like extremely fortunate in that way because it's just heartbreaking hearing like people who have been disowned or estranged and just know that there are people out there who will respect us and will respect our needs because they exist.

They just exist. And you just gotta put that energy out into the world that they will find you and you will find them. , yeah.

[00:44:57] Adeel: They exist. Is does, it's worth, yeah, it's worth highlighting this because there's a there's a bunch of, speaking of intersectional, there's a bunch of things here.

First of all, I think a lot of people tend to, who don't have this fight, tend to think that we don't realize that we are probably a burden and that we have all this guilt. They, they see our demands, and they think that we're just being controlled freaks when there's a lot more going on.

Another thing is we would, I would think that you and I would, if somebody else had a condition like this, we would accommodate for them as well. MSAP funnies is just considered, it's not as popular as some of the other issues that a lot of people get, give accommodations for, and so we're just early in the curve, I think early in the arc and hopefully, we will be taken as seriously as these other

[00:45:36] Makayla: conditions.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Being taken seriously is like a huge thing and. That's something that I've grown a lot in. I used to be very ashamed and feel guilty for telling someone that I have misophonia, but since moving to a new place and just being like, this is who I am. And I know this is not for everyone.

This is just what I'm doing. And if you like it, then use it. And if you don't, who cares? But I just tell people I have misophonia. If I hang out with them for the first time or whatever, I just say, Hey, I have a neurological condition. It's called misophonia. You can eat with me. But please be cautious.

Please don't eat gum, please. And I just I put it out there because I don't want anyone to be surprised six months into a friendship and then be like, oh my God, I have to act completely different around you. Because in my experience, and I know this might not be scientifically true, but in my experience, to the point, like I can be friends with someone or be in a relationship with someone and I know when I start to love them because that's when I feel triggered.

As soon as something like, oh my gosh, I really do love them, like love this person and I want them in my life forever. That's when a trigger comes up. It's

[00:47:01] Adeel: so weird. Interesting. So do you mean you tell them that you love them and then the triggers start, or it's like you, you can tell that you are having feelings for them because you're, it's

[00:47:11] Makayla: again, it's that complicated I don't know.

Yeah. Asked if it was like I made the decision like, wow, I truly do love this person. And then they started triggering me or they started triggering me and then I was like, wow, I do really love this person. I'm not sure which, cuz there's been a few instances, but it's definitely very similar timing.

and I think it's scary , so that's why I just let people know.

[00:47:35] Adeel: Okay. Okay. No. Yeah, it's always, the more this gets out there, the more it's communicated, I think the more normalized it could be. And

[00:47:41] Makayla: so I guess I'm also like, I'm not 21 yet. I'm not like going to bars or partying and, covid, so I'm not making a ton of friends to begin with here.

I live on an island, there's not that many people. And so it's very selective. I'm very selective with my friends in general. So when I do hang out with them, that means that okay, they're a safe person. I can tell that I have misophonia too. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it goes together. It's not like I'm just like, oh my God, I have misophonia.

Everyone should know. That's just

[00:48:14] Adeel: great. Great. You have you announced it from across the the bay or wherever the beach . Okay, so you're, yeah. So let's see. Actually, we're getting to about to an hour, but there's so much I we could talk about, but let's, I don't know, let's maybe we're at we're around high school, so it's not that many more years left until we get to the present.

But do you want to maybe talk about yeah I guess what have you done, I guess since you, so you graduated online from high school. How did things evolve? Were you seeing, were, were you seeing doctors and therapists for other conditions that autism or other issues and curious how that, the dance would between the, that and misophonia and Landon, and I'm actually not sure when you said that you found your current doctor, I think that was like just about a year ago.

[00:48:59] Makayla: Yeah. Okay. Through that time, , I was experiencing extreme headaches, not just a headache that would come and cope. Not a migraine, but a just complete head pain that I would wake up with and I would go to sleep with. It was constant. Wow. And I still, to this day, I don't know what it stemmed from. I don't know how it went away.

I don't know anything. It just was there. But it did go

[00:49:25] Adeel: away. It did. So bloody

[00:49:27] Makayla: seriously have frequent headaches now. Like I end each night pretty much with an ice pack on my head, which I'm fine with, at least it's not all day. Yeah.

[00:49:38] Adeel: And I'm able to, that'll go, hopefully that'll go away. Yeah.


[00:49:43] Makayla: Yeah. So I was, I, went to that initial doctor. They gave me muscle relaxer, which is completely irresponsible to give a 15 year old person with just a headache. Who said she has a neurological condition, just muscle relaxers. I just cannot believe that happened. And I know there's a lot of worse things that doctors have done, but I'm just like, dude, I literally was trying to do my best and communicate with you, but you could not do the same.

Yeah, we all understand that doctors are just not gonna listen to us. So after that, I went to a naturopath and because I was just like, this is, the doctors aren't gonna help me. I just had this feeling. I also switched my diet completely that summer between school years I went gluten free and then I went completely vegan and then I started going to the naturopath and he had me cut out soy sugar, corn and some other things.

And so I was completely whole food plant-based diet for about a year as well. And so I did a lot in that time. I was taking supplements, I was doing acupuncture, massage eating good ex, like going on walks, making sure I was, being careful with that. And nothing was working. It just nothing working.

And I, we got my blood tested, I got an MRI done. There was a lot checked my thyroid, like all these things I don't even remember. I think I'm tell saying them all, but there was probably more. But just nu I was just always coming up. Normal, average human and a lot of my autistic traits went under the radar as well.

Mostly because of masking and typically women are really good at masking and just. like a chameleon, almost. Like we look at other people in a situation and we're like, oh, that's what everyone sees as normal. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do too. So a lot of my personality wasn't shown to people around me only like I got to see that.

And so all like pretty much everything about me, just like the true me just flew under the radar . And so it's really frustrating to look back at that time. Cause I feel like, or I wish that I could have been more one honest with myself, but then honest with the those around me. And so it is quite frustrating to think like I was in so much pain for so long and did all these things and spent so much money my own money too.

Like I was babysitting at this time, like paying for my naturopath as a 15 year old. Wow. And cuz I knew that I was like, I knew I needed to. Get some help. I knew I needed help in some way, I just didn't know what, and so it just felt very disappointing. Like every time going to a doctor trying to figure out what's wrong with you, especially when you're in chronic pain, having anxiety in depression and then every time you leave someone's yeah, you're fine.

And you're, I'm like, I'm not fine. I am light years away from fine right now. Yeah.

[00:53:09] Adeel: Yeah. Wow. Okay. And then yeah, since then, yeah. You got to today like,

[00:53:14] Makayla: oh, the lighter note, let's, yes. That was like the big dumpster fire of pain and growing up, but then here, moving to the San Juan Islands and being in the woods and just saying, okay, Mikayla, like this is, There, there is something wrong with you and you need to understand that, and you need to recognize that.

And so one, just like recognizing I needed help, recognizing I did have a problem and then allowing myself to nurture that side of me and to say, instead of being ashamed of, cuz I, I, this is, and again, doctors have also suspected that I could be bipolar or have multiple personalities. Again, that's where misophonia is very confusing because it just is confusing and I, cuz how I've explained Misson to people is it's another part of my brain.

It's like another person in me. It's has another voice almost. And I don't know if other people like relate to that at all but I had to nurture that person that. being or whatever inside of me that was misophonia, and say, okay, I will walk away for you now. I will put in earplugs. I will ask someone to stop.

I will make accommodations for myself because I deserve it. My nervous system deserves it, and I feel so much better after doing that. And just allowing myself to nurture misophonia and not to hate it, not to be mad at it. , I do hate it and I do am mad at it a lot, but in the overall sense of going, okay, this isn't like the devil inside of me now.

This is something I need to take care of and say, I love you even though you caused me pain. I love you because who knows? Maybe misophonia is protecting us from something else. I have no idea,

[00:55:16] Adeel: yeah. So a lot of stuff to unpack there, but you're absolutely right. And this is actually one of the aspects of miso therapy that I've learned over the last y even less than a year, that there is a direct, a direct a therapeutic direction, which is based on, and I'm not a doctor, but it is.

But, professionals talk about this. It's based on the idea that misophonia is related to some wounded inner child, something that may have happened or a series of things that may have happened. Not necessarily like big traumatic, like giant traumatic things, but minor traumatic things that may have happened early on.

Yeah, exactly. And then, and there's a wounded child that was not supported and it it takes maybe your older self to talk to it, to give it compassion as a way to get over that and. Or at least help a little bit. So I think that's, it's interesting that you've come to that conclusion yourself, and,

[00:56:06] Makayla: but I, and I feel everything that you just said, like in my core, because again, this is something that developed.

So that means something had to have happened to make this a thing in my brain. And so it's and I know there's been a lot that has happened in my life that is weird and confusing and complex, and and everyone needs to do that inner work and inner self-love. But I think for us it's on such an extreme level of because we feel stuff so intensely, it's oh no, I don't just need a self-love day.

I need to actually love myself because if I don't, the possibility of me being suicidal is very high. If I don't fully. Just love and care for myself every single day. That means I could slip into something deeper and darker than even misophonia. And so it's very real. And so yeah, like coping and all this language and the, whether it's big ttra, small t trauma, multi-trauma, like work through it, face your demons, face the bad shit that happened.

And not that it's a cure for misophonia, but it might just help in general.

[00:57:26] Adeel: Oh I think it absolutely will. Yeah. You and yeah. Great advice. Everything you just said, I hope people rewind a bit. Listen to that. Listen to that again. You're absolutely right. And

[00:57:35] Makayla: Oh, I think, sorry, I keep cutting you off.

I'm so bad at interrupting. It's like really bad. Sorry. But the other thing that has helped me with, Mis with diving deeper into misophonia and coping strategies instead of, oh, how? Cuz yes, there are researchers researching misson and a cure and please keep going, keep doing that. We love you.

Thank you. Like seriously, that's amazing. But we're, my, my brain's at right now is what do we do in the meantime when there is no cure and we're still suffering. And so what I did was, instead of misophonia eating all this, I tried to change my focus to my nervous system.

And that's when stuff's really started clicking for me, where I was like, oh, it's not just my ears, it's not just my reaction. It this is my entire body. This is affecting my entire body. , my, like my neck is tense, my hips hurt. I have a lot of weird, like just bodily not even bodily issues, but just like aches and pains.

I feel like I'm 70, but I'm 20. And so I'm just like, all of this has something to do with each other. And so once I started focusing on my nervous system, that's when things really were like, oh, I can do this. I am a better human than how I've been acting in the past. This is working. And so one of those things is, C B T obviously helped me, talk things through, but I know that's not for everyone.

And then tapping emotional freedom technique has changed the game incredibly. Have you ever heard of it? I'm

[00:59:19] Adeel: curious. I have, but I would love to yeah. I'd love to hear your take on it and what you do. , I

[00:59:23] Makayla: was shocked and my therapist like just told me about it one day and I was like that's interesting because I've been meditating for five years.

, off and on it, it wasn't like everyday thing, but I thought that at the time that could help. Obviously didn't if not made meditating even harder cuz I would, hear my brother playing guitar and I'm like, shut up. And so it was kind, that meditating was hard. So tapping, once I found that, I was like, it's very similar to meditating, but you just hit certain pressure points o on your hands and your head, your chest and then you talk things through.

And so like for example, you could say, even though I'm feeling triggered, I can still walk away even though I'm about to go into a loud stimulating environment. I will be okay at the end, and I can get through this and you can say anything like literally anything you want and just tap it out. Please look it up.

It's awesome. And I just feel better. It's just very empowering. And I even did a tapping before this. I'm just like, you can do this. You have, you know what to say. This is your life. You don't have to prepare anything. This is your life. You just get to share your story. And I just tapped it out and I felt so much better.


[01:00:47] Adeel: so how, and does it the professional have to work with you to talk about where to tap and or what to say or just look it up

[01:00:54] Makayla: on YouTube? Something you can YouTube. YouTube? Yeah. Okay. Okay. YouTube, just look it up on, there's like an Instagram account, there's a YouTube, there's, just like good old Google.

And yeah, you can just, no, it's come up a

[01:01:06] Adeel: couple times on the podcast. And at the, yeah, the first time I heard it, I was like, That can't be real, but I've , but the more I hear about it, the the more it's definitely and I've read about it in books now, so yeah I'm very intrigued now and yeah, that's

[01:01:19] Makayla: definitely what I've definitely a shot.

And there's no way that it helps, like with misophonia, like it doesn't take, nothing I have done has ever taken away misophonia, but it has helped my body process the negative motion emotions that nega, that misophonia, like embody, and helps me move through those emotions and feelings and whatever.

And so get back to equilibrium. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then another thing I did try was emdr and I have mixed feelings about that. I was very intrigued because it sounded awesome and. But the therapist and I did not, we didn't vibe I guess. It was just very odd. And then she like forgot why I was there.

And I told, I had a dream about my dad chewing strawberries. And I told her, I was like triggers are, like showing up in my dreams. And she was like, oh, triggers like a gunshot. And I just looked at her and I said, no, my dad eating a strawberry. Yeah. Okay. It was so funny to me. I was like, no.

Like in that moment I just was like, you don't get it. Yeah, you don't get it. And EMDR is deep trauma work and if I don't feel comfortable with the person that I'm with, there's no way I'm gonna get anywhere with this. And so I just put that on the shelf. I might do it in the future.

It might be worth

[01:02:54] Adeel: trying again with somebody more. Exactly aware of what's happening. Yeah.


[01:02:59] Makayla: I was just like, no, my dad eating a strawberry. Yeah,

[01:03:03] Adeel: only we can. Okay. Okay. Wow. Yeah, no, it's super interesting. We're, yeah, we're getting, we're a little, obviously a little bit more now, I feel like we can keep going, but maybe I'll have to have you on for aux some kind of a part two at some point.

But yeah, sure. But for now is there anything else you want to talk about, especially maybe in terms of what's helped you lately? I'm also curious about how do you see the future? You're, you're young and your, you, your nanny know you, I dunno if you're thinking about what you wanna do after you move out and whatnot, but that could be maybe a whole a whole conversation in itself, but if there's any techniques that you want to mention yeah, it'd be great to hear.

But yeah, I'm also just want to hear what you think about the future, especially. After what you've gone through?

[01:03:43] Makayla: Yeah. I definitely could talk on and on for hours and hours about this. It's just, I love psychology and love people and just like how we are operating. And and I, as I've grown up, I've realized how different I am from everybody else and oh, you don't think like me?

And so that makes me just I feel like a narcissist a lot because I'm so intrigued with like why I do the things I do. But it's more in like a curiosity, like, why am I different? What is going on? So yeah, there's that, but I could literally go on and on. But breath work is another one that I've tried.

Like the box breath just for in, for hold. For out, for hold. Yeah, I've heard of that

[01:04:28] Adeel: too.

[01:04:28] Makayla: We triggered and if. The only thing you have is yourself. You have no other tools. You always have your breath. And that doesn't mean it has to be perfect every time, but getting oxygen to your brain is helpful.

In general. It's important. Yes. So I know it sounds silly, but it's just hello, we need it. Cuz a lot of the time I hold my breath. So that was a big thing is like teaching myself how to breathe properly. as part of the

[01:04:57] Adeel: freeze response maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:04:59] Makayla: And then something random is tracking my cycle.

And so for any like woman with or any bleeding woman with misophonia, please track your cycle because that's when misophonia would get really bad for me is in that PMs time right before my period. And it was like, Really scary a lot of the times. Like I would have panic attacks. I would freak out.

Yeah. I would see visions and think that something was attacking me. Like it was, it got really scary sometimes. And so tracking that and then being able to be like, oh, wow, like that person really just pissed me off. And then, or I'm feeling triggered and then I'm like, oh, I'm about to start my period and it just gives me grace.

That's all that really is all, and I think that's huge for us because a lot of the time we're beating ourselves up for being angry when really it's just our bodies happening.

[01:05:59] Adeel: That's all right. No, that's interesting. And there, there was somebody that came on some not too long ago, who definitely talked about how she feels strongly connected to hormone hormonal changes.

. Cause it's coincided with , miss Funny, it's just coincided with what At times of her life. She's a little bit older when yeah. I, hormones changed a lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[01:06:18] Makayla: Yeah. I was really intrigued because I have always thought that it was connected to hormones. And then when I listened to her, I was like, yeah, that makes sense to me.

, we had a very similar situation and or like real realizations I guess. And so I thought that was interesting. But yeah, I just, who knows like where and what and why it is correlated, but I see a huge correlation within my life that it's just duh. Like it's just so clear. Yeah. That it's connected.

But then as far as the future, man, ugh.

[01:06:56] Adeel: Yeah. Just sum up in four words. No, I'm

[01:06:58] Makayla: just kidding. Oh my gosh. Yo. Yeah. Me in four words. Man I'm a very, I'm a dreamer. I really am a dreamer. I think the world has a lot of potential right now.

[01:07:10] Adeel: Yeah, it can only get better, I hope.

[01:07:12] Makayla: We need to get better, we need to be more accessible and more conscious, more aware.

I think a lot of our issues, I believe in my heart, have something to do with the greater good. And I also believe that as microphones we have deep empathy. And so whatever is going on in the world, I believe it is affecting us on a conscious or subconscious level. Because I feel like a huge empath.

And the other microphones I've heard on this podcast and a few that I've talked to, we feel very deeply. And so when the world is hurting, . So are we, because we, you know what, yeah. Saying what that pain, we understand what the pain truly feels like, and especially when it's out of our control. So seeing fires and floods and, all these terrible things happening, like somewhere our body knows, we might not know and we might not have that experience, but our body knows.

[01:08:14] Adeel: Yeah, no that's a great point on a macro level, but even I've been thinking recently a lot about that, how, what are some advantages to misophonia and whether the empath, whether the, I'm sure you've heard the term H s P, the highly sensitive person. A lot of, yeah. People have come on.

I've been thinking about how can that benefit us on a more of an, even more on a selfish level, like in our careers can that make us better managers or bosses? I think that's something we should totally. I don't just celebrate in a way or at least kind of highlight, hey, maybe we can use our empathic abilities to benefit the world, but also us personally, in our livelihoods, that will, have a ripple effect on people around

[01:08:50] Makayla: us.

Exactly. And I truly I truly believe that we could be sur su some sort of superheroes. Like I know that sounds hard to believe, but I feel like we are quite intelligent. We've just been suffering so we don't know how to access it. A lot of us, but I genuinely feel like we are special humans because again, I had never heard of misophonia or anyone with misophonia other than my eighth grade teacher, but, Besides the point until I saw this podcast and to listen to you guys and be like, oh my gosh, we've all felt alone and we've all felt like the only one.

And to me that is weird. Or not weird, but like very interesting. And I know that a lot of people can, oh, I feel like I'm the only one. This is on another level. I feel like no one gets it until you get it. And so when we find each other, that's like beauty. And so I really do feel like we can I'm again, like I'm not trying to start a cult or anything, but I really feel like we can band together and make this world a better place because we are more aware in a way that other people aren't.

[01:10:01] Adeel: No, you're right. That kind of, that spark and connection that we feel when we find each other, if other people felt the same way Yeah. Around each other, I think that's an energy that we wanna promote. Yeah. But let's maybe end on that kind of positive. Yeah. For now. Maybe we'll have other conversations in the future, but yeah.

This is amazing. I have no problem letting it go over an hour because we covered a lot of amazing ground. Yeah, there's a lot. Thanks. People be taking notes, I'm sure. Yeah, of course. No, this is hugely beneficial for me too. Yeah, Michael. Yeah, thanks and thanks. Thanks again. And

[01:10:31] Makayla: Thank you for everything that you do.

Seriously, like for this community. This is huge. We need it like this has brought me to so much understanding of my own brain, and it's just amazing. So thank you because you are providing a service, an outlet language to people who desperately need it. So thank you. Thank

[01:10:55] Adeel: you, Mikayla. It's amazing how similar we all are in our experiences and our thoughts about Misson.

A little bit, a little more philosophically. If you like this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars. Whoever you listen to this show, you can hit me up by email at how about misson podcast.com or go to the website misson podcast.com. It's even easier to send a message on Instagram at Miss Funny podcast.

You can follow there or Facebook. And now always forget Twitter atap on your show. Support the show by visiting Patreon pat.com/sy podcast. The music is always, and until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.