Shane - Journey Through Misophonia & Mental Health

Adeel [0:01]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 7, Episode 10. My name is Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. This week I'm talking to Shane, a broadcaster slash podcaster and writer based in London, Ontario, Canada. Shane has just published an e-book based on his mental health recovery, and I've got links to it in the show notes, including a coupon FameFam45, which you can use to get 45% off his book. Or you can visit his Instagram at ShaneFam.com. I'll tag that in my Instagram. He's also a mental health advocate in Canada, working for the national program Defeat Depression. And also he's a fellow Misophonia podcaster because he briefly had a show called Fight or Flight. We talk about all these things, plus his relationship with his family, especially his mom. ADHD, frontal lobe atrophy, marijuana and its effects on him, and a lot more. After the show, as always, let me know what you think. You can reach me by email at hellomissiphoniapodcast.com or just hit me up on Instagram or Facebook at Missiphonia Podcast. And if you can, please head over. review or rating wherever you listen to the show. It helps move us up in the algorithms and reach more listeners. A few of my usual announcements. Of course, thank you for the incredible ongoing support of Patreon supporters. If you feel like contributing, you can read all about the various levels at patreon.com slash misophonia podcast. And of course, Dr. Jane Gregory and I have written a book called Soundtracks. book based on Dr. Gregory's clinical research at Oxford. It's now released in the UK and it was actually it was an Amazon bestseller making all the way up to number 59 and it's still on pre-order for the United States. It'll be released in the United States on November 14th. But yeah, please check it out. We're very excited to have it out there and people seem to really enjoy it. You can find links in the show notes. You can also find it anywhere you get books, obviously. This episode is also sponsored by my personal journaling app that I developed for iOS and Android called Bazel. Basal provides AI-powered insights into your journal entries and guides you with new writing prompts every day based on those insights. And you can actually explore many different therapy approaches and philosophies. It's available on iOS and Android, and you can check the show notes or go to hellobasal.com. All right, now here's my conversation with Shane. Shane, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you here.

Shane [2:48]: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Adeel [2:50]: Yeah, of course. Yeah, excited. So, yeah, do you want to just kind of kick us off, just kind of let us know where you are, kind of what you do?

Shane [2:59]: So my name is Shane. I'm from London, Ontario. I have a background in broadcasting, which later on became podcasting. I hosted three podcasts or four. I think it was eight episodes and every episode had a different aspect of me finding out about my misophonia to dealing with it, to the little stories that had to do with me battling misophonia and things like that. So yeah, But yeah, now I just released an e-book. It's called Recapturing My Mental Health Through Short Stories. And yeah, it's just delivering stories of me with my mental health from childhood to... Today, there's a chapter there about, I touch a bit on misophonia in the book, too.

Adeel [4:01]: Yeah, I know. I was reading a little bit. It's been the first day of school, so it's been kind of crazy here. I didn't get to read everything or absorb everything super carefully. But yeah, I definitely want to get into that. Yeah, you're the first other Misophonia podcast host I've interviewed. So this is the first. Also, I went to school in Waterloo. I went to the University of Waterloo back in the late 90s. So I'm kind of familiar with your neck of the woods a little bit. So that's very cool. Cool. Well, it sounds good. Well, I guess... yeah i guess maybe do you want to talk a little little bit about about the book when did you when did you publish it i'll have links obviously in the show notes um but i'd love to i'm very fascinated by you know i'm i'm writing some i don't know how what form it's going to take but uh writing some art basically based kind of inspired by my life and also short stories from the podcast so i'm very interested to kind of hear about how this came about when did you publish it kind of what led to it

Shane [4:57]: So I came up with the idea around a year ago. And I was just writing like journal entries and stuff during COVID. Especially during my COVID, my whole thing was when I was finding out about misophonia. So since I was a child, I always liked to write. Comes back to radio. growing up in the newsroom. I love the English language that way. So I used to get through my feelings through just writing. I'd go to the park and just write and write and write. And I was trying to dabble into poetry. And then I sent a text to my mom about one of the poems. And she said, why don't you write a book about mental health, about your stories with mental health and misophonia? So And she came up with the title, Recapturing My Mental Health Through Short Stories. And I kind of just went through the first phase. So the first phase of the book, I found I was writing through anger. And if something happened that day or if someone upset me, I would go home and write a chapter about them. And then I kind of like, backed off from it just because life happens and I didn't really have time and then I reread it and I was like man this is not really a book I really want to write about you know like this is not the book and I think it was in April I looked for it because I wanted to find it again and Google lost it oh Like it's somewhere in the Google version. So I had to start again. And this time I kind of had a better idea of what I wanted to write and like a better understanding of what I wanted. So in the e-book, I'm a big music fan. I went to Trevis Institute. So music always played a big role in my life. So in... At the beginning of each chapter, there are links to different songs that helped me around that time.

Adeel [7:19]: I remember that part, yeah.

Shane [7:20]: Yeah, so one of the chapters was about my back surgery in 1992, around the same time that the Jays won the World Series.

Adeel [7:29]: I remember that. Yeah.

Shane [7:30]: Yeah.

Adeel [7:31]: Drew Carter's 3-1 home run. Yeah. In the bottom of the ninth. Yeah.

Shane [7:35]: And so at the beginning of that chapter was different tracks. REM was in there. I think Cranberries was in that chapter. So I had a better vision of what I wanted the book to be. And after that, it was just kind of like everything came easy. And I wrote it, I think, started back again strictly in May. And I finished it in July. And then I had the pre-orders on my birthday, July 14th. And then I actually released it and everything two weeks ago.

Adeel [8:12]: Nice. My birthday is July 17th. Man, we're so close. Well, congrats, first of all, on the book. Yeah, it's an amazing project. There needs to be more of this. I mean, that's why I did the podcast, is to tell short stories. But, you know, I'm not a writer, but that's kind of what this has been, to kind of humanize the condition. But, sorry, let's get back to you, though. So, did you find it healing? I mean, let's talk about kind of, like, the act of writing.

Shane [8:40]: It's weird, because, like, even though I remember, you know, almost dying at his sick kid's hospital at the age of 14, um... I don't really think of those times again. Right. But then when I was writing it, so I finished that chapter, start writing another chapter. And the funny thing about my book is that. And I found this out when I was at 5,000 words. The average e-book is 2,500 words. So it's like, yeah, I think I'll be the Moby Dick of e-books. So it ended up being like over 6,000 words. And I went back to the back surgery chapter. And I was like, yeah, this is not done. And I just kind of like added more things. And one of the things was me going back to school. And then suddenly one thing that happened was I remembered going back to school. My dad gave me a big one of his big swivel maroon chairs from his office so I can sit in because I went to an independent school called Toronto Waldorf School in Toronto. they're very wooden based, like all their stuff is wood.

Adeel [9:51]: Waldorf school. Yeah.

Shane [9:52]: Yes. So, um, I, uh, we had to, so I couldn't sit on a wooden chair with my back brace for, you know, even four hours. So I, I just kind of like this, uh, the swivel chair just came back to me while I was writing. And I was like, damn, I don't know how I remembered that. So, yeah, I mean, it was, it is, it's nice to go back to those times and, And some of the things I revisit, it was really cool to visit like, you know, 1992 and those times and stuff. But like, it's also kind of troubling because when I'm thinking about my misophonia attacks in 2020 or 2021, they're too fresh. So it's kind of like, okay, I need to, uh, I need to stop doing this for a bit and walk away from this for a few days and decompress, have a few beers and just like, mellow out because it's way the memories are way too fresh and everything you know so was misophonia um so the the misophonia ones that you're trying to get distance from were pretty recent did you have misophonia did you notice misophonia back then back in the 90s as well oh no no okay um my first memory of it i didn't write it in the book but i remember writing it recently was um So my sister is one of those texters that would do, hi, send. How are you? Send. Can you call mom? Send. And my notifications would be on and the sound would be on. and it would be like and it like i got i remember this one specific day um i was living in newmarket ontario at the time and i i had two bags i came back from the mall i was carrying two bags and my phone was vibrating as she was texting and i was just about to get home and i had just had to stop it and just like turn off my phone and i was just so angry um yeah i have all my notes nothing vibrates on my phone i got that all oh yeah locked down yeah 95 at the time my phone's on silent unless i'm expecting a call or something right but um but yeah um and i had to like i had to uh just not answer her for a bit because It actually got on my nerves. And she's also one of those mad ringers who would just ring the doorbell over and over and over again. And that also bugged me. I remember that bugging me when I was a kid. But that was the first real experience I can remember of me having a fight or flight reaction to a sound.

Adeel [12:42]: Was the doorbell in particular?

Shane [12:46]: Well, the notifications. The notifications. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then after things kind of added up, like the doorbells, what really got to me and that really sparked my misophonia and all the drama was when I first moved here in London, I lived in the basement apartment with my mom and lived upstairs. And it was her footsteps.

Adeel [13:12]: Mm-hmm.

Shane [13:12]: And she was just living her life, just, you know, doing her thing. And she's a heavy stepper by nature. You know, 40-something years living with her, I knew that. But suddenly it just kind of, like, sparked something where I would just go, like, I would rage. Yeah. Or I would have to leave the house. I remember this one time when it got really serious. It was a Sunday. I had a huge migraine. And I had to... take off all the lights, and just lie down in my bed. My mom came down. She thought that I had taken one too many Advils or something because I was just in a mood and I was sleeping. And then I would have to leave. I left the house for a bit. I went out that day. But neither of us knew what was happening. Because I was living with my mom like a year and a half before that and everything was fine. I was working from home and everything was cool. But suddenly something happened. So that was the first real trigger of, okay, something must be happening here. It got so bad that November that year, so November 2019, I had to do a staycation in... In London. And just to get away from the house for a bit. Because neither of us. We were getting mad at each other. And we both didn't understand why. We were getting mad at each other. And we're trying to find out why. And. Yeah. So that was the first time.

Adeel [14:51]: Interesting. Okay. So this is kind of, this is not like a classic childhood, uh, nine year, nine or 10 year old kind of onset. Okay. Um, but it seems to be associated with moving with your mom. Um, okay. Okay. Did you, I mean, would your relationship with your mom's totally fine? Like how, how basically maybe, uh, going back to a little bit about childhood, was it, was it, um, um, well, it sounds like you had some medical issues and some other mental health issues. Um, has there been other stuff going on since childhood and then misophonia has just kind of piled on in the last few years? Don't have to get too, you know, if you don't want to get into details, I'm just trying to paint a picture. I guess you wrote about it in the book, so it's not totally private.

Shane [15:37]: Yeah, well, I mean, I had depression when I was, my first bout of depression was when I was like 16, 17, around when my parents divorced and And I saw a shrink for that in Richmond Hill, Ontario. But, yeah, other than that, I lived, like, a happy life. Like, I grew up in the radio studio. Like, I did internships at different radio stations in Toronto. And I was a... Chum FM and all that.

Adeel [16:10]: Close. CFTR and The Mix and AM640.

Shane [16:13]: But I... yeah, I was, I was a happy kid. Like I, I knew what I wanted to do at 10 years old. And I, and I had my first, you know, radio internship at 15 at, at easy rock. And, um, yeah. And my relationship with my parents were great. You know, they always helped me out. And that was back in the nineties when it was like, do not tell anyone you're seeing a shrink because they all think you're crazy. So, you know, don't tell your friends you're going to the hospital for that. Um, so, but my parents were great about it. Um,

Adeel [16:50]: It's not amazing. That was just in the 90s, too. I know. And that was the decade of the sensitive man kind of thing. Yeah. And it seems archaic. Yeah.

Shane [17:02]: I remember going again to a psychiatrist in 2008, and my friend said the same thing to me.

Adeel [17:10]: Mm-hmm.

Shane [17:10]: Mm-hmm. and i was like well you know as i find mental health is i'm a mental health advocate i i volunteer for i sat in the chair for defeat depression which is uh which is an organization with uh mood disorders association of canada we do big walks around ontario and um i find that with defeat depression i realized that the understanding for, for depression, for mental health is way better than now than even five years.

Adeel [17:43]: Right. No, I do want to say, I don't want to say that, you know, there are conditions, I think that's funny, which are still in the dark ages of awareness now. So we've got a long way to go. But, but yeah, it's interesting how things have changed in our lifetime. Okay, cool. So So, okay, so you painted the picture of when Misophonia was hitting and, you know, you had this staycation. Did you start to, did you mention it to anybody else? So how did you find out that Misophonia had a name and, you know, and that stuff?

Shane [18:19]: No, I didn't say anything to anyone. I was kind of private about that. Mm-hmm. But I did some research.

Adeel [18:31]: Yeah.

Shane [18:31]: And there were different things that I kind of like found. And then I think I found misophonia or I Googled it. And then I didn't really take it that seriously. And then I mentioned something on Facebook. And I said, does anyone know about misophonia? And then I had like five or ten comments. And then more people messaged me privately saying, yeah.

Adeel [18:56]: From your friends? Yeah. Okay, cool.

Shane [18:59]: Yeah. And they were all like, well, most of them were like chewing and things like that. But I had one specific friend who, and she said that, yeah, there's various things that get on my nerves where I have to wear earplugs. And she's the one who recommended wearing headphones throughout the day. Yeah. And I was still on that standpoint where why am I supposed to changed my living situation right just because someone else is getting you know why can't they help me why can't we meet halfway you know and that was the really the big beef between mom and i because i was like i'm telling you you're doing this really loud can you just like when you go in the kitchen don't slam that maybe to me she was slamming the doors maybe she wasn't

Adeel [19:53]: She's definitely slamming the door.

Shane [19:58]: So I was like, why can't you just put rug on the floor instead of having it?

Adeel [20:03]: Just slide across the floor. Why do you have to even... Or just fly.

Shane [20:10]: So yeah. And that's where she tried to meet halfway. And that's what got out of my nerves. But she wasn't really like she was trying. She understood. But like it was not to where I thought she would be trying. And I was like, why am I having to wear my headphones for this? And my dad would say, why don't you just leave the house? Like I'm in the middle of doing something. I can't stop doing what I'm doing just because I'm avoiding someone from walking around. you know, that's not really that fair, you know? So, um, at that time, I guess that was like me refusing to think it was misophonia or, or refusing to take any action on my part of, of how to counter it.

Adeel [20:57]: Yeah. Right. Right. Gotcha. Okay. Um, and did you then, how did you get over, did you get over past that point? Um, and yeah, I don't know. Well, I guess what happened next? Did you maybe talk to a therapist or shrink or whoever you're seeing about it?

Shane [21:13]: Well, yeah. So there was day accounts like here in London. I was able to get to talk to them. Around that same time, I decided with mom that I had to move out. So we did the home search. We did everything. My aunt was living with us around the same time. So it was pretty hectic in the house around that time too. So a lot of these things were happening. And... But, yeah, I ended up moving out twice back in November. Sorry, October 2020. And then, again, I moved into a basement apartment, which would be kind of like I should have rethought that.

Adeel [21:58]: Oh, okay.

Shane [21:59]: Yeah, and it was... Well, not only that, it's a spa.

Adeel [22:07]: Oh, okay.

Shane [22:08]: So... Uh, I didn't really think about that, but then at first it was kind of like a honeymoon phase from October to like December, January. It was beautiful. My own pad. It was nice. It was spacious. I was working, you know, had, you know, had my own schedules and, um, And then it started happening again. You know, the sounds from upstairs, same identical thing. But this time, this person wasn't my mom. She was someone else, right?

Adeel [22:47]: Right.

Shane [22:47]: So, yeah.

Adeel [22:50]: Okay. Okay. So you said you moved out twice. Did you, did you mean you moved to two different places or you moved out of your house? Good catch.

Shane [23:00]: Yeah. I moved briefly in a, in a house, like right down the street from me. Okay. For like a month and two weeks, but that was, I was living with roommates and I, I just didn't get along with roommates. So it was just, yeah.

Adeel [23:13]: Gotcha. And so you say, um, talking to me maybe about your, your mental health advocacy. So you're, you're, you're dealing with a lot of, uh, well, a lot of different mental health. You're trying to raise awareness, mental health issues. Are you trying to, are you starting to inject misophonia into that, um, conversation now with, I know there's, um, I guess with defeat depression or maybe some, some other issues, are you, are you finding ways to kind of like spread the word? Yeah.

Shane [23:38]: So, um, I've been with Defeat Depression since 2020. And this year, I was always doing stuff with the social media and with that, like website stuff and things like that, along with the walk. And then back in March, as we were gearing up for a walk on May 20th, last May on the 27th, my manager from Defeat Depression and Mood Disorders, Sharla, she reached out to me and she said the chair from London is stepping down if I wanted to step in and take his role for this year. So around that time, I started, we started doing blogs and updating the blog and just getting the word out, getting more social media content and stuff. But yeah, to answer your question, yeah, like every time I, have a chance to write about misophonia i will um and i think it's really important like especially in the mental health space now um yeah because yeah again as you said like no one knows about misophonia and i think when i started uh fight or flight i looked up misophonia podcast and i think you're the only other one i found that was constant and it was like you know had like regular episodes so um so yeah i i try to um whenever i can um bring that up in conversation yeah so and what are you doing uh like day to day like what are your kind of coping methods uh are you still doing the headphones all day kind of thing or or um what have you kind of found to help you so so two years ago um things were getting really bad downstairs and the guy upstairs from me was moving out. I came up here helping him one day and he's like, well, why don't you take this apartment? It's going to help our landlord out, kill two birds with one stone. So I ended up, this is where I live now upstairs, um, from my own unit, my old unit. And so, um, For that, because of that, now you also have a deck door now too, so it's nice. So I solved the lack of sunlight and the noise from above me. So since I moved upstairs, everything has been great. There are little things that I can control, like commercial, 90% of commercials get on my nerves now. uh like my phone ringing things i can control yeah um what i like to do especially since this has this apartment doesn't have an ac and i need to have the fans on the little cracks of the fan sometimes get some of my nerves and little like this apartment noises get on my nerves but what i've done recently is what i've been able to do is um i have associated those noises with better noises so with the fans i associate those fan noises with when i would go to vegas on vacation with my my family back in the day and after going swimming we would go back to the hotel and take a nap And, you know, how there's a certain sound hotel AC has.

Adeel [27:14]: Oh, yeah. They all have weird random sounds.

Shane [27:17]: So that's what I kind of associate the fan noises with.

Adeel [27:20]: Yeah.

Shane [27:21]: So in my mind, I'm kind of like thinking that I'm at the Ramada Hotel in Las Vegas. and not at home listening to these annoying. So it kind of like gives me more peace.

Adeel [27:33]: Um, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a proven clinical method is to kind of like try to redirect your, you're just trying to change your, the source, the sounds to something else. Yeah. Tell yourself you're somewhere else. Um, if that helps you get through, that's great.

Shane [27:49]: Um, but yeah, I mean, other than that, um, I don't really have to do the headphones all day, anything anymore. Um, But it's still kind of like fight or flight type of thing. I have Google TV, so the remote is really small, so sometimes it gets lost. So sometimes when I hear a commercial and I can't find the remote, it feels like 15 minutes of listening to this one sound. But it never gets so bad where I'm... punching the walls and wanting to leave the house or whatever.

Adeel [28:24]: So are you, uh, what about when you go out with friends and stuff or, um, like when you're out shopping or I don't know, hanging out restaurants, eating.

Shane [28:33]: When am I out? Doesn't really bother me. Um, unless someone has a phone. you know, repetitive, like someone's phone ringing or something, but that doesn't really, cause I'm kind of more distracted with, you know, public life and stuff. Um, I remember this one day when back when I was just realizing what was happening and I was at one of my favorite restaurants and I can guess I can call it my local and the bartender was a friend of mine and she knew what was going on. It was kind of day long weekend. fireworks were starting and this is when we were supposed to be on on the patio this before inside eating started and was later at in the evening and she's like hey if the fireworks are bothering you you can come inside for a bit you know so i've had friends like my inner circle knew what's up and they kind of and funny of them two of them had the same thing one of them the one who wanted me to go inside she lived in the basement apartment too so she understood The other one has a chewing thing too. So they've been really supportive. Yeah, it sounds like you have a lot of supportive friends. Yeah, they've been very considerate about what's going on. And they like to ask questions too. I mean, it's not the most common thing.

Adeel [30:01]: Right, right. So yours triggers aren't so much about the chewing then, I guess, right?

Shane [30:08]: No.

Adeel [30:08]: no okay no interesting yeah do you have um do you have um so you your mom's yeah your mom starts to be a big trigger so your dad your other family members your dad's never been a trigger or anybody else it was it's been a lot of like whoever you've been living with has been kind of the main triggers right yeah

Shane [30:31]: Yeah, yeah.

Adeel [30:32]: Or living near, I should say.

Shane [30:35]: Yeah, I don't remember my dad really having any things. I lived with him when I was going to broadcast in school in Michigan. Yeah. And, yeah, I don't remember anything. Yeah, so it's my mom and my sister. My sister with her little OCD type of things she would do.

Adeel [30:52]: Ah, I see. Right, right, right, right. Okay. Oh, right. The doorbell ringing and all that. And... What about in broadcast and radio? Is there any ever things you had to be careful of? Because, you know, I don't know if you're interviewing or, you know, there's always like mic placements because a lot of people have problems with like listening to microphone voices. I'm curious if anything was ever, you know.

Shane [31:16]: Well, that's why I started my podcast because I would listen to two podcasts and. the host would just do little things that would just get on my nerves. And it was not more misophonia, but more of like mic etiquette and mic control and just like broadcasting one-on-one. Yeah. Like do not scream and do not yell into the mic. Right. And, uh, just knowing how to take breaths and not to cough and things like that. And, um, I was like, I could do better. I will do better. I'll make my own. And, um, But yeah, I mean, there are things that I can't listen to some podcasts just because of the same things. I'm a big wrestling fan, and I listen to a series of podcasts. that is managed by this real estate i think it's real estate or insurance guy uh he does like rick flair bruce pritchard jake snake a bunch of these guys uh podcast so he has rick flair doing one of their uh spots and it's like rick flair going 50 miles an hour talking about um going to this website and it's gonna add And then, you know, Ric Flair does this. Woo! And it's really annoying. And I know when it is going to be, like, in the podcast. And I have to make sure I, like, unmute it just in time. But I don't remember anything, like, when I was in the radio studio or doing my own podcast or anything that would get on my nerves.

Adeel [32:56]: So what was your podcast? You want to talk about your Mississippi podcast and, you know, what did it cover? Why did you was it meant to be temporary?

Shane [33:07]: Yeah, it was a very it's like when I before I started doing that back before I moved to London, I was doing call center work for Rogers. cable tech so rogers is like the comcast of canada by the way so yeah exactly yeah so uh i'm sorry that's radio 101 i should be more descriptive uh so robbers as we call it in canada um i working for home for them and i was just getting really depressed because of that And I was talking to one of my radio mentors and he said, why don't you like you sit at home and in a room privately and you talk to people that you would never meet in your life for hours and hours. What does that sound like? Shane? I'm like, that sounds like radio. He goes, are you trying to tell yourself something? Right. And I'm like, yes. Okay, buddy. I hear you. So, um, Radio has always been like my theme song for radio is this used to be my playground by Madonna. And it truly was. So half reason why I started my podcast was, was therapy. And half of it is just because it's necessity, because I felt like my first podcast was called shower of the soul was like a talk show like this, but about different mental health issues and things like that. And then I had, Vice, which is more of a documentary style one. Then it was Fight or Flight, which was about the misophonia. And the last one was everything I learned in life. I learned from wrestling. It was like little wrestling stories that brought me life advice. But yeah, I mean, it's my first love. So I just haven't found time. And as you should, as you, as you know, um, to produce it, to write it, to host it, to find guests and it's, it's a lot of work. So, um, I'm not saying that, like, I shouldn't put it in the works. I should, but, um, it just takes a lot of out of you and just like life happens and I can't commit to doing, you know, three or four seasons of a different topic and things, you know, just, yeah.

Adeel [35:45]: Yeah, it's definitely a lot of work. I try to do as many shortcuts as I can, but editing out sounds is a fair amount of work. You can't really get AI to do that yet because it's very specific. Yeah, no, that's cool. I'm going to go back to listen to some more episodes. Obviously, I'm going to have links in the show notes as well, but yeah, it's always good to talk to another Misophonia Podcaster So yeah Maybe jumping around and going back to your Now with your so you've moved out Your relationship with your mom has improved Since you know Since kind of a lot of this went down Oh yeah Yeah like we Even though we like it got really bad Between us At the end of the day we knew that we both Loved each other and we We weren't wanting this to happen

Shane [36:43]: you know like we would be fine for a couple of weeks you know i would take her out for lunch or dinner or go shopping it was great and then one thing happened and boom you know we'll get back to it and then you know we both realized it was the misophonia talking and not me and because the misophonia all these other things kind of like got dragged up from the past and childhood and things like that. So, um, as soon as we solved that, we kinda, we, we were fine. Like as soon as I moved out, we were perfect. And then, um, when I was having those issues with the person upstairs for me, when I was living downstairs in the basement, um, she kind of saw it in from my eyes suddenly she's like i understand why you're you know i see what you're saying now you know so um at the end of the day i think we got closer because of this yeah i was gonna ask that did that did that leave you even closer oh yeah definitely and oh you said something about um it brought up the misfit would bring up things from the past from childhood what did you mean by that uh it was a different stuff that, that happened that we'd never really talked about that, like, you know, um, related to sounds or just related to your relationship in general.

Adeel [38:08]: Yeah.

Shane [38:09]: Just our childhood, my, my childhood and things. Yeah.

Adeel [38:14]: Gotcha. Um, what about yours? And what about your, your, your sister now? Is she, is she still somebody that you have to be on guard around? Is she understanding?

Shane [38:26]: Um, Oh no, she totally understands. I, um, she's been getting better with text messaging and, uh, I have a time now. Yeah. I don't have a doorbell. So, um, so she's not a repeated, repeatedly knocking on my door, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's been much better with her too.

Adeel [38:53]: Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Um, and then you like professional, like, I don't know if you still see professional, um, help, but are you finding that, um, I don't know what the awareness overall is of misophonia in Canada, but are therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists relatively aware of misophonia, or is it still... They know of it, but the funny thing is that they can't diagnose it. Yes, because they can't really technically diagnose it here in the United States either. Yeah.

Shane [39:26]: They kind of attribute it to... different things and so i haven't talked about this but um so around that time i was i finally got a family doctor here in london and um i was still seeing my old doctor in newmarket and she was kind of just trying to help me sorting stuff out. I was also getting a lot of migraines after my fight or flight attacks and stuff. So she was worried about something. She was, she was doing like a deep dive in my head and she, um, she found that I had a trophy in the front lobe of my, of my head. So, um, one thing led to the other. They wanted to do deeper research. And then I think it was late last year, I forgot when, but they found out that I have a certain type of ADHD. Which is more in common. I forgot an actual, like, technical term. But it's more in common with when you're in public or when people are around you. So I could do, like, I can make myself coffee perfectly here in, like, five minutes. Right? If I have a group of people in my apartment, it would take me longer. Or I would get nervous and screw something up.

Adeel [41:00]: Gotcha. Yeah.

Shane [41:01]: right and uh so but back to my original point was that when they are diagnosing a uh my misophonia or trying to find out since they can't diagnose a uh misophonia they usually think it's adhd um ocd or um or not autism yeah right So there were my home doctor, my old doctor in Newmarket, she was trying to figure out if I had any of those three. I guess she was right with one of them.

Adeel [41:41]: Yeah, interesting. So I think, did you mean like some kind of atrophy that they found in your front lobes or something? Yeah. Okay, gotcha. Was that something related to the ADHD or was that just something different?

Shane [41:59]: I believe it was something related to that.

Adeel [42:05]: Did they ever prescribe medication with the intention of helping with misophonia? Or did they take it to the next level and try to do something?

Shane [42:13]: At first, yeah. She gave me some triophan, xyophan. i don't know yeah it's one of those and i was still living downstairs i had an attack i took one and you know when you're intoxicated usually not like through alcohol but through other things you feel really heavy and like if you step up up on the on the on the ground like your steps feel way yeah way heavier that's how i felt minutes after taking one of these and um yeah and i i was i was like yeah i'm not doing these things not comfortable yeah yeah no around that time we were able to um gets prescribed marijuana through shoppers.

Adeel [43:13]: Shoppers Drug Mart? I haven't lived in Canada in a while. Shoppers Drug Mart can prescribe marijuana? Oh my god.

Shane [43:21]: Yeah, so they just started doing that. I think that must have been fall 2020.

Adeel [43:25]: I mean, they don't prescribe it, they fill prescriptions for marijuana at Shoppers Drug Mart. Yeah, you have to send for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shane [43:35]: And, uh, so I, I just started getting my gummies and my edibles and I was, I was good, you know, every night I would do it and help a lot sleep.

Adeel [43:46]: Gotcha.

Shane [43:46]: And, um, my overall vibe.

Adeel [43:50]: That would be probably if it's helpful to see if that's, uh, the indica, um, strain primarily or. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And how did that, did any of that help with misophonia or affect misophonia in any way?

Shane [44:08]: Well, you know, it chilled me out.

Adeel [44:10]: Okay.

Shane [44:10]: So I think there were times when I was downstairs and this person was upstairs doing her thing. Yeah. There were a few times when I would be like, I can hear. Yeah. And kind of like just like laugh it off.

Adeel [44:27]: Yeah.

Shane [44:29]: And it became livable.

Adeel [44:31]: Yeah. Okay.

Shane [44:35]: I am a social smoker, so I really wanted to be high 24-7. Right. Even though it was really nice to be high at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and just chilling out watching wrestling. But, yeah, it did help.

Adeel [44:56]: Gotcha. Um, it go back in Canada. Is there, so we have, you know, Miss funny association here, nonprofits. Is there anything like that in Canada related to, to misophonia, any kind of nationwide or even province wide associations or groups?

Shane [45:13]: I don't know about Ontario. I don't think about Canada either. I personally haven't come out with any of them.

Adeel [45:22]: Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Um, Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, uh, I'm sure the work you're doing is if that ever comes to, it comes to be, um, you know, you're, you're, you'll be a big, I'm sure you'll, you know, you're a big part of that promoting misophoning Canada. I don't know. Is anybody else, do you know anybody else who's kind of like, uh, waving the advocacy flag for misophony in Canada?

Shane [45:45]: Uh, not on like, not on a public level. Um, I know a couple of people who just do it privately and, um, are very outspoken, like on Facebook and stuff.

Adeel [46:00]: I guess there's, well, Shay, Shaylin Hayes is in, is in Canada. I keep forgetting, but, uh, she's quite, uh, yeah. Um, quite, yeah. Quite a presence. So, yeah, I forgot. Yeah.

Shane [46:12]: They're more like social media, uh, advocates rather than, you know, right. Doing other things. But yeah, there are a couple that I've come across. Um, but yeah.

Adeel [46:22]: Yeah, so, I mean, yeah, anything else you want to share? I mean, I'd love to hear maybe a little bit more from the book if you want. You can even maybe point at your favorite passage or something. But, yeah, anything else you kind of want to share? Sure, yeah. Especially if it's kind of from the book.

Shane [46:39]: So, yeah, I mean, my book is, you can get it if you go to my Instagram, at ShaneFameCom. That was an American accent there. At ShaneFamCon. That's one word. And there's a link there. And, yeah, it's 1550. You can use the promo code FameFam45.

Adeel [47:06]: FamesFam45. I'll have a link to that clearly in the notes. But yeah, that's great. And is that going to be, is that coupon code going to be available over the next few weeks? Because this will probably go live sometime in September. Okay, cool. Gotcha.

Shane [47:21]: So yeah. And, yeah, you will be able to get 45% off of the 50 and 50. And then you can also get a gift card to buy one for a loved one who could appreciate it. And if you have, like, if you want to reach out and find out more about my book or if you're kind of hesitant about the book and want to get, like, a preview of the book, which I sent to you, you can hit me up personally at hostshane at gmail.com.

Adeel [47:52]: Host Shane at gmail.com. Okay, yeah, I'll link to that as well. Do you have any future plans for more writing related to misophonia or mental health?

Shane [48:03]: yeah so i'm doing one i through cooking well sorry through uh cooking i've been able to well sorry rewind uh cooking helped me with my mental health a lot when i was going through my whole misophonia thing in my in the basement wearing headphones and just creating stuff and i've been been posting a lot of my dishes on my Facebook and stuff and a lot of my friends are like Shane you know post your recipes they look amazing so I didn't really want to do a recipe book because I really don't I don't really pay attention to what I cook or what I put in. So I wanted to do something special, though, incorporating cooking. So my next book is going to be a love story about a couple in their early teens falling in love for the first time. they like to cook so every chapter is going to feature one of my dish recipes I'm Guiney so there'll be a couple of like West Indian dishes there like spaghetti and stuff like that and jerk chicken so so that's what I'm working on hopefully to get that done by and released by winter

Adeel [49:26]: Nice. Okay, cool. Well, yeah, something to look out for. That sounds great. It will be kind of like a mental health angle at all or or mainly just a way to the love story is a way to tie in the rest of the recipes.

Shane [49:37]: Oh, yeah, it's gonna be Yeah, because they're, um, can't give away too much but the couple kind of bonds through um the guy's stories about mental health and yeah yeah things that he was afraid to say to his school-aged children sorry to his school-aged friends about because he's afraid to tell anyone else about mental health his mental health like right being sad and stuff because he thought he who thinks he was going to get uh made fun of so it's kind of like i'm doing that just because i i remember you know going back to like the 90s and um you know being told not to tell your friends that you know you're depressed or sad because you know, just looking like back when I was a kid, I was, you know, anyone looking at me, they're like, Shane, he's a happy kid. He's always laughing. They would never believe that was, you know, sad, kind of like a Robin Williams thing. So, um, this book is kind of like for the, for the young readers who might not, might not know how to talk to their friends about depression and anxiety and misophonia and stuff. So,

Adeel [50:54]: That's great. Yeah, I'm glad. That's amazing. Yeah, I appreciate all the advocacy stuff you're doing and creating art that uses misophonia and can in any way kind of inspire people to be more in touch with their mental health is amazing. So, yeah, this has been great. Shane, thanks for everything you've done. Thanks for coming on. And obviously, we'll be in touch. I want to have all these conversations. links in the show notes but uh for sure but uh yeah thanks for doing well thank you man and thank you for doing what you're doing thank you again shane good luck with the book and i'm so glad that there are people like you talking about misophonia in my home country of canada if you like this episode don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to this podcast you can hit me up by email at hello hello at misophonia podcast.com or go to the website misophonia podcast.com It's even easier to send me a message on Instagram at Missiphonia Podcast. Follow there or on Facebook at Missiphonia Podcast and on Twitter slash X, it's Missiphonia Show. Support the show by visiting Patreon at patreon.com slash Missiphonia Podcast. The music is always by Moby. And until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.

Unknown Speaker [52:34]: Thank you.