Mark - Musician explores creativity under misophonia's influence

S7 E17 - 12/1/2023
This podcast episode delves into Mark's life with misophonia, illuminated through his journey from Manchester to Los Angeles, how his brother was his first trigger, and the role of humor and transcendental meditation as coping strategies. Mark, a musician, also discusses the influence of misophonia on his creativity, notably through a song he composed about the condition. The episode emphasizes the importance of understanding and support from loved ones, especially as Mark shares experiences concerning relationships, misunderstandings, and triggers from various accents and sounds in daily life. Through anecdotes and reflections, Mark's narrative provides a detailed exploration of living with misophonia, underscoring the complexities and the necessity of coping mechanisms in managing the condition.


Adeel [0:01]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 7, Episode 17. My name's Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. This week I'm talking to Mark, a musician from Manchester, now living in Los Angeles. A while back, Mark sent me the video to his song about misophonia that I've linked to in the show notes and posted on social media. We finally got a chance to talk and get into his life story with Miso. We talk about his brother as his first trigger, being the black sheep of the family, the anticipatory nature of misophonia, humor as a necessary coping mechanism, his thoughts on frequency sensitivity, transcendental meditation, as well as being triggered by different voices and accents. Really interesting topics we touched on. After the show, let me know what you think. You can reach me by email at hello at Or hit me up on Instagram or Facebook at Misophonia Podcast. By the way, please do head over and leave a quick review or rating wherever you listen to the show, whether that's Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps drive us up in their algorithms, which just helps us reach more listeners. A few of my usual announcements. Of course, thanks for the incredible ongoing support of our Patreon supporters. If you feel like contributing, you can read all about the various levels at slash misophonia podcast. And of course, I want to mention... The book by Dr. Jane Gregory and I, called Sounds Like Misophonia, A Self-Help Guide to Misophonia, is now available everywhere around the world by Bloomsbury Publishers. And you can order it online or ask for it at any store. This episode is also sponsored by a personal journaling app that I developed for iOS and Android called Bazal, B-A-S-A-L. Bazal provides AI-powered insights into journal entries and guides you with new writing prompts based on those insights. You can even explore many different therapy approaches and philosophies. Again, it's available on iOS or Android. Check the show notes or go to All right, here's my conversation with Mark. Mark, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you.

Mark [2:18]: Well, yeah, thank you. It's nice to be here.

Adeel [2:21]: So do you want to start off by maybe telling us kind of where you're located?

Mark [2:26]: I'm currently living in Los Angeles. As you can probably tell by my accent, I'm not from here. I'm from Manchester in the UK. And I did notice there was a lady in one of your previous podcasts a singer-songwriter from Manchester, which is what I am. Yeah, yeah. So I was kind of curious as to, you know, at least there's two of us from the same place, but I suppose this goes out globally, yeah? You have people from all over.

Adeel [2:57]: Right, yeah, no, definitely all over. I think I've had someone from pretty much every continent, including Australia, Africa as well, on the podcast, and obviously the listeners are everywhere. but primarily US, UK. But yeah, yeah. So I guess the way we connected was, I think you sent me, and I'll have links to it if it's okay, but you sent me a video of a song that you recorded about misophonia. Yeah, I guess maybe, I don't know, maybe kind of start there. Like you were a, you know, you sing a song or a music you want to tell us a little bit about what you do. And then we can talk about kind of how misophonia weaved into that.

Mark [3:35]: Well, the song was one side being aware that it was diagnosed because, you know, as a child, people just thought you were weird or you were a diva or whatever it may have been. Right. And I realized that I had suffered from this and actually it was a recognizable thing. So I put pen to paper and I wrote a song called My Misophonia. and um yeah if you if you have the act you know the ability to share the link and and have people see it you can see i you know i i play out the words of um of our kind of day-to-day lives, whether it be scratching a plate, whether it be someone clicking a pen. In fact, when I was thinking it was live, my wife has a nephew here that when he came over, he's visiting from Austria, he clicked his fingers and I'm like, oh! And he knew, I thought I'd have to explain to him because sometimes, again, you feel a bit weird, you feel a bit... like i say special that you have to explain it but i i've written a book previously it wasn't about misophonia but there is a an excerpt in there and so he was aware and luckily he um he kind of understood it and he tried not to do it but he's done it every day since then because it's a habit and these are the things that you as you know your um other guests will tell you that we have to kind of put with and deal with and But going back to the song, I did it as a serious subject, but there's a lot of humour in it because you have to make fun of it, otherwise you go mad, you know what I mean?

Adeel [5:21]: Oh, yeah. I mean, humor is a coping method that's been mentioned quite a few times. Yeah. And yeah, you're right. You can spiral down unless you kind of try to make a lighthearted situation. And I think that if it's done in a way that it actually is funny to us, it kind of diffuses that fight or flight threat that we feel.

Mark [5:42]: Yeah, I mean, it's weird because my sister was here a month ago. Basically, I'm the youngest from a family of five, and my sister's a couple of years older than me, and I've always been closest to her. She was in the arts, you know, she was a dancer. And so she kind of knew a little bit, like my other brothers were all conservative, you know, kind of led normal lives, so to speak. But I, because with being a musician and being interested in the arts and this, that and the other, I was closer to my sister. Anyway, I spoke to her, you know, we were reminiscing and I said, you might not remember this because she always stuck up for me with my older brothers when they used to pick on me. And my older brother, one of my older brothers, when I was about six or whatever, I won't do the noise here, but basically he sniffed up, you know, just through his nose and he made a sound. And... I freaked out. And, you know, I'm like, through some, you know, pillow ammo or whatever, my sister went, you didn't do anything, Mark. And I'm like, I said to her, do you remember that? She says, yeah. And I said, well, it goes back that far. As a child, I wouldn't have known anything else other than to react to something that was painful. And so anyway, you know, all these years later, when it was, like I say, diagnosable, it made sense. And, you know, it's been consistent. It's not like you'll hear that sound once and the next time you don't react. I explain to people that we don't have a choice. It's a physical pain. Even though there's nothing tangible, it's a frequency that affects us. And, you know... if people are willing to listen, then at least you've got some form of support. Like my wife, she appears in the video, you know, and again, we make it humorous because I say, when you swallow, you know, I forget the lyric is now, when I hear you swallowing, I forget what it is anyway, they'll have to listen to the, or watch the video. Once I've got up, Oh, that's it. Once I hear you've fallen, I have to walk away. And we're on the couch at home and she sticks the bees up, which is the American middle finger. Do you know what I mean? So again, it's using the humor, even though, because she, you know, what's she going to do? Sit there and not breathe. It's a tough one. But as we just pointed on already, there is an essence of humor that has to be injected. Otherwise, you'll never get through it.

Adeel [8:28]: Right, right. So were your brothers kind of your first triggers going back to when you were growing up? Say again? Were your brothers your first triggers back when you were growing up?

Mark [8:42]: Well, it was that specific sound.

Adeel [8:45]: Yeah.

Mark [8:46]: I mean, again, you can edit it out, but it's... It's that, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's just... It's like... If my wife has the sniffles, for example, and before she reaches for a tissue, it's that one. Now, I don't know if your other guests have mentioned this, but one of my big issues is it's anticipating the next sound. That's the one that gives you that kind of gut, I wouldn't say anxiety, but just that gut pressure that you go, okay, I'm waiting for it. And much like... when I do mention it to people that don't, you know, people say, oh yeah, I hate fingernails on the chalkboard. And I say, well, I don't mind that. And the reason is because that is so obvious. My misophonia stems from the little innocuous sounds that you can barely hear. and um you know and again you hear one and you go do i say something or do i wait for the next one because again she's she's so lovely my wife she understands it fully and really tries to accommodate me but on occasion she'll forget you know she'll sniffle up or whatever it may be and um you know because i'm waiting for the next one it's this it's the second one that really gets me and then i have to kind of react to that so I don't know. I don't know whether you've come across that, whether you react on the first trigger or you react by waiting for the second one.

Adeel [10:23]: Yeah, no, I mean, that comes a lot. It's the calculation we have to make. Like, is this worth saying something about or is it just going to pass as like a one-time thing? And yeah, I mean, we're kind of like a heat-seeking missile, you know, looking for the next threat. And...

Mark [10:42]: yeah i mean that yeah that definitely comes that's that's part of the experience unfortunately yeah i mean um i was on a i don't do f book much only when when i need to do it but um i was on a um a forum but that got a bit toxic because you'd say something that's kind of related or maybe it's not, because you're just, you're looking for clues. You know, people would say, oh, you know, it's more for the creative person. And then other people would chime in with this, that and the other. And then when this, you know, I call it the PSYOP that happened in 2020, I used to like comment on things like certain people can see certain things and certain people can't. And it's, I wrote a couple of books to do with a different subject, but it relates to this because it's about the universe in general and about frequencies. All universes is energy and frequencies. And so I tried to make sense of... of that in a way because um i've been on other podcasts where we talk about manifestation and how you can use them to your advantage um knowing that again we just we just download downloading waveform energy that we turn into electronic energy but i've since been able to make that um you know use that knowledge to to combat this you know this this condition um Because one thing is understanding it, and the second thing is dealing with it. Because much like something like depression, if you... I write about this in the book as well, regarding incidental depression and clinical. An incident has happened, and therefore you can deal with it. You go, okay, that's why it's happened, so I can deal with it like this. If it's clinical and you have no... reason you know life's good you've got a job you've got a wife you've got this that and the other but you still feel depressed it's a it's a it's a vicious circle and that's the type of thing i've come across or tried to understand with misophonia i thought okay well i know that's happened how can i best deal with it and unfortunately up to now there isn't something because you can't train yourself to accept a frequency that is an anathema to you you know it's just odd

Adeel [13:14]: right so were you saying that um um you know you're you're saying like so for things like depression sometimes there's uh i don't forget what you said but uh incidental um and so you can kind of try to work on it are you saying that like after a trigger you kind of try to think about uh how to deal with that particular sound or Are you talking about an incident maybe from the past? Well, no.

Mark [13:41]: Before this was diagnosed, you just... you're you're left with this feeling and you don't know what to do with it um like i say if you feel depressed because and you don't know why it's harder to deal with yeah like i say if you've got a chemical imbalance or whatever um you know and there's no you know physical um difference you you have to deal with on your own really in isolation with with misophonia for years I remember incidents before we even know it was diagnosed or whatever. And people would think, like I say, you were a diva or you were awkward or you were special or this, that and the other. And that made you feel even worse. But now knowing that it is recognized, well, not mainstream recognized, but there's enough of us that know that it is a thing. What I'm trying to say is it's not really, having that knowledge that it is real doesn't necessarily help you the way that some other things help you because, again, you've got a bit of information, oh, it's happening because of this. We don't know why it's happening again other than this aversion to certain frequencies.

Adeel [14:55]: Yeah, you're right. I mean, yeah, a lot of us are excited when we first find out what it is, but then it tends to fail when we realize no one has a real handle on where it comes from or how we can really grapple with it. I guess, how did you find out it had a name?

Mark [15:11]: Well, I just saw it online one day, I suppose, and I thought, well, you can edit the fuck out anyway.

Adeel [15:18]: That's all good.

Mark [15:20]: At first, I felt kind of... not vindicated but I felt I felt less of a fraud because I'm like pointing to my wife you see this is a real thing and all these you know there was a couple of celebrities but mainly it was just run of the mill guys like ourselves that were just okay this is a thing and You know, she was, my wife was supportive before because she knew that my, you know, I would change. I would physically change, you know, to the point where you, you know, one time or another, you'd nearly be sick. But once it was, once she could read about it and I could read about it, yeah, you kind of, like I say, you didn't feel so alone again, but it's not... really um help with the you know with the the triggers luckily you know i have my own business and i have a life where i don't interact or i don't have to interact with certain scenarios so i have no i mean one of the reasons i came off this forum there were so many stories about people in jobs where yeah they had to tolerate certain things and again they didn't have the the rights that you know normal people have so to speak so it's it's a struggle but again it's it's nice to come on and and speak to people like-minded people because the only way you can get through it is to share your experience and you know, talk about it, that diffuses stuff. Because again, talk about energy and thoughts are energy. And so if you, you know, the last thing you need to do is compound it by giving the thought any fuel. If you kind of dissipate it, that's the only way you can get through it. Because I suppose anxiety is a form of... I won't say misophony, but there must be a family which one belongs to. The thought process is something I understand a lot more than I used to do. And again, regarding frequencies and how not to, like I say, energize a thought rather than try and diffuse it. And that takes all the power away from it. So I have been trying that when something's happened. I've tried to, I mean, the triggers already happened, but I'm training myself for the next time because, for example, something happened recently. And I thought it was a knuckle crack, and it wasn't. It was my nephew just fiddling me something. And so what I'm trying to train my mind now is when I hear my other nephew's, well, my wife's nephew's here, now he did it. But the training hadn't worked yet, if you see what I mean. I hadn't managed to trick myself into saying, no, it wasn't a knuckle crack, it was something else. Because... my cat one of my cats when it licks themselves that triggers it but the other doesn't so there must be a finite change in frequency And I have to be able to manage the dial myself internally and go, okay, let me shift the dial over this way so that frequency now shouldn't be able to affect me. And if I, again, use that kind of power of the mind to say, no, I won't be affected by this frequency. It's just recognizing the frequency because it's all over the place. You know what I mean? A pen clicking is higher than a...

Adeel [19:05]: you know a knuckle crack or whatever it is so again it's it's hard to kind of um get it all in one bundle yeah that's just that's an interesting technique that you mentioned uh potentially trying to replace the sound in your mind trick your mind because yeah i mean that is a technique that's kind of used in some clinical practices is to um have a list of um triggers and then have like a list of alternate sounds you can tell yourself that you're listening to and uh you know it might not get it right away but I think the idea that it does it could just update your neural pathways to just make them you know gradually make the next next one triggers less of a you know less of a problem so yeah it's interesting yeah I mean it's

Mark [19:56]: I think the research is very young in this so maybe you know in 20 years 30 years time or whatever they may have some I don't know if ear implants or something that they may want to do for the extreme people because I'll be honest I'm not half as bad as some of these people that were suicidal because of it although it does you know it can cause a bit of embarrassment when when um i had um a worker one time and i said sorry i don't mean to be mean but would you blow your nose and they were so mad you know like they remember like like you know just like huffing and puffing and you don't want to be that person but you know again in the realm of things minds it's manageable um but um nevertheless i i would love to know why i can click a pen and it does nothing but if someone else does it it freaks me out so it's not just about the frequency it must be um Or maybe we are prepared for that. If we're prepared for it, then it's acceptable. It's just when we're blindsided, it affects us. So there's got to be something to look at there. You know what I mean?

Adeel [21:18]: Yeah, I mean, I think part of that idea is that it's, you know, there's always the tension between the different parts of your brain, the older lizard brain that more reacts to fear and emotion that we needed when we were, you know, less evolved species. And then there's the modern thinking prefrontal cortex type of the brain, which is able to actually like... You think things through. And I think in Misophonia, it's that former one that just jumps in and just hijacks your brain. And so when you're clicking it yourself, I think your brain as a whole knows that you're not a threat to yourself, but you don't know what the other person's going to do. I feel like that's part of the story.

Mark [22:03]: Well, that's what I mean. You're already self-prepared, and yet if you hear something coming from left field, you're attacked. but then I don't know how they would go about fixing that. I don't think it's, it's prevalent enough to, for, for, you know, for medical people to, to consider it.

Adeel [22:23]: Just remove part of your brain. No, just kidding. I think there's, yeah, there's a lot of research. There's a lot of research going on and, um, part of it maybe it's kind of like using, you know, neuroplasticity meaning like, yeah, like you, like you're trying to do to kind of trick your brain enough times to kind of like rewire certain parts of it. Um, Or maybe there'll be something else that we'll, you know, we'll be able to do in the future. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm curious, you know, growing up, like, did any other, it looks like you were one of five kids. What did your family think? What did your parents think, I guess, when you were reacting?

Mark [23:05]: uh to to triggers growing up well they they just thought i was what's the word we used to use that you were um just marred or you were um i don't know i mean they call it bipolar now i think because there were times when i knew that my parents um thought that i was sulking you know i i just i just retreat within myself and they just thought it was my personality and um but like i say i specifically remember being around you know five six seven years old so oh that early okay yeah yeah it's been there since then um but it mustn't have been on a daily basis otherwise i don't i never got through it so i i don't know i mean maybe um i grew to tolerate certain things although that sound that that still gets me so i i don't know i mean it's it's it's almost like it although i do remember i was in the cinema with um with a friend of mine and this is probably this is now 11 12 or whatever and then and he was eating a knock knock and he was going And then again, I'm like, what? But then it's almost like, well, you're moaning because you don't have one or whatever. And so, again, you put it down to your personality and you blame yourself for it. Because I know now if me and my wife don't eat together, she won't be near me or she'll, you know, she will. And then I'll tell her that, you know, you know, it's going to happen kind of thing. So. again, I'm making probably making the same sounds, but coming from someone else, it's it's, that's where the problem is. So it just makes you sound like this, this, you know, this privileged kind of, right? You know, individual?

Adeel [25:14]: Yeah. Yeah. What about school? And kind of like your, you mentioned your friend, obviously, in the theater, but did it start to affect anything else in your life?

Mark [25:24]: Well, I don't know. I mean, I was terrible at school. I left with no qualifications. And so I don't know if it correlates to that or whether, you know, I just didn't get school. I mean, the only thing I was good at was geography. And I realized years later it was because I wanted to travel the world. That comes into the other podcast I was telling you about when it's manifestation. Because I had to drop music and French and ended up being a musician living in France, you know, occasional translation. So I knew by the time I was like 20, I wasn't academically... uh inept i you know it wasn't it was the system that couldn't teach me but as i say i don't know whether the misophonia aspect created an insular type of person where i didn't um don't know i i just didn't excel at school or again i i can't i can't necessarily blame it on that but i i don't know the two are related or not but it was only you know years later that i um i suppose right through to you know i'm talking like when i left school it's 40 years ago and it's only 10 years i think since we realized misophonia was a thing so in in that time I when I look back now wherever I was in the world or whatever I was doing there would have been times where I would have had a trigger but it wouldn't be put down to that it would have been put down to depression or or whatever you call it now just just um a polar disorder where one minute you're kind of effervescent and the next minute you're insular so I don't know if it is connected or related I don't know but um I think there must be definitely something in there. Otherwise, you know, I don't know if any of the other guests have gone, well, I suffered from this and I suffered from this as well. If I didn't suffer from one of them, maybe the other one would be better. I don't know whether, like I say, it's related. And anything neurological, I suppose, is.

Adeel [27:51]: Yeah, there's definitely a lot of people have come on and had comorbid conditions, like what you mentioned. Even bipolar, I've had a number of seeing anxiety and OCD tend to overlap. um but yeah it's hard to tell where kind of like i mean it's probably literally an overlap it's it's probably not like you can definitively know when where one ends and the other begins um did your parents uh ever try to get you help for anything uh or you know did you ever get diagnosed for anything for anything no i do remember once my dad saying i'm gonna take you into the loony bin that's all he's told me that was classic manchester talk you know

Mark [28:29]: and um and that was it then um i think it just became he tolerated it or whatever oh he's the youngest child is that you know he's got a chip on his shoulder there was always something i was always a black sheep um and you know finally i um when i um i came out to live in the states um you know i i became you know settled down got a wife and got me life in order And this thing never went away. So it wasn't related to, what am I trying to say? It had always been there, but if I'd have had any difficulty in England, for example, they would equate it to that. I wasn't working. I was, how can I put it? I had an issue with drugs in the 90s and things like that. So they always put it down to, oh, he's got issues, whatever. But then when everything was cleaned up and we got our life together, this remained. So it has no bearing on lifestyle or diet or anything like that. Whereas they may write you off in that way. Oh, Mark's like this. Have you seen what's happened to Mark? Whatever it may have been. like I say, it's not, it has no relation to that. So, you know.

Adeel [30:02]: Yeah. So when you were, right, so around the nineties or whatever, I'm curious, like, you know, after you left school, it's like you were traveling the world. Were any of the choices you made in terms of like, you know, pursuing music or even like substance abuse, were any of those kind of like influenced at all by having misophonia, music or self-medicating? Yeah.

Mark [30:23]: We didn't know it was, we didn't, We didn't know what that was. Again, I'm just... I'm trying to... You know, coming on here now, it kind of makes you challenge your past. But I can say there's no... There's no part of me any time where I thought that I had something wrong with me in regards to how I heard things. Yeah. That never existed. It was... I'm just saying that if there was ever a point, you know, when I left school, I was... I wasn't confident because I didn't have any qualifications, things like that. So things can be attributed to that. Or, like I say, if I ever had a problem with the booze or the drugs or whatever, then an outsider could attribute it to that, or you would yourself. But, like I say, throughout that, from me being six to me being 60, I've always had this. Wherever I've been, whatever part of life I've... you know, I've been in, it's always been there, whether I've been drunk, sober, rich, poor, it's never diminished, it's always there. And it's just so now I've learned to meditate. And I'm hoping I can kind of, you know, break some barriers down down from that because it's transcendental meditation so it allows you to visualize as well and i'm doing transcendental interesting yeah i i grew my hair back by doing that and so i know that there is a definite um definite law of attraction and and it's just a case of focusing on it and so i have to The thing like hair, for example, it's visual. I could picture myself with a full head of hair and eventually it grew back. But how would you visualize an aversion to sound? That's kind of not easy to do. You know what I mean? Because it isn't visual. So I'm not sure how I can train myself to do that. But I am working on it and maybe...

Adeel [32:38]: in six months in a year and i've i've had a breakthrough i can come on and you know share it with everyone yeah that's interesting okay um yeah i mean what other um see you're trying meditation are there any other uh and you know you mentioned like um trying to figure out you know frequencies um and things like that are there any other kind of coping methods you do day to day just to kind of get through the day

Mark [33:05]: Well, I meditate daily, but that's for in general. I've turned my life around by understanding, like I said, a lot of attraction manifesting, you know, plans manifesting. whatever it may have been a career a relationship um financial gain this that and the other it is it is a you know a thing the law of attractions you know as real as the law of gravity you've just got to know how to use it and so i gotta find out a way to use that In this instance, like I say, normally, if you visualise something, I visualise my studio, my house on the hill. I can physically see that. Well, I've got to visualise a life without triggers, and that's just not... You can't visualise that, can you? I mean, you can't... When you're visualising, there's no sound, so... That's the next thing I have to figure out. I try often to search for information. I'm a big buff when it comes to... you know understanding things i i i like to understand how it works and that goes back to my analog days when you you know read a schematic it's linear it makes sense um digital is another thing but digital in a way is kind of it it can all it can be how can i put it we are did you did you call digital digital computers Because if you look at the computer screen, it's downloaded zeros and ones. And zeros and ones on their own, they're nothing. You can't see them. And so that's the kind of angle I want to come from, where we are. We download waveform energy. It's only when the brain translates it that it appears to us as a solid image. And I have to go down that route. It's not the science that we've ever been taught. No one's ever told us that we download our vision every microsecond. That information was kept from us. But there's more evidence that that's the way we are than us living in a solid planet. Do you know what I mean? It's just frequencies that we can't penetrate if we walk into a wall. Yeah, it's just different frequencies. So I want to delve more into that, into how I can actually understand how these types of frequencies are affecting us.

Adeel [35:54]: Sounds like you're talking almost getting into that quantum wave theory and quantum mechanics. But yeah, I guess when you go back to manifesting, you're right, we live in a very visually oriented society, so maybe you just need to somehow stumble upon a way to manifest the other sense, the hearing and audio information.

Mark [36:19]: Well, yeah, I mean, I had a problem with my foot and I was... When I meditate, I face the sun when possible. That's one of the reasons I left Manchester, because they don't have sun there. And you can try and attract a, whatever you want to call it, a thunderbolt. There's a different conversation when you get into God and religion and all that. Again, it's all the universe. And it all comes from the sun. The positive photons come from the sun. And however you want to attract them, I say, you know, burn some health into me, burn some happiness into me, and this, that, and the other. And it is attracting what, again, we understand as a waveform energy, the positive photon. And I try and direct it into, like I say, I had a bad foot and, you know, it does alleviate that. You hear of people that were paralysed and they visualise walking and, you know, so it worked for some of them. It is a... It is a law, but it's very strict. If you falter your thinking, then I equate it to like snakes and ladders. You'll climb the ladder with your positivity, but as soon as you have a negative thought, you slide down the snake. So I have no qualms about it working, but you need discipline to continue it. There are times where you just can't be bothered. And there are times when, like any ailment, if it goes away, you've not suffered for it for a while, you get sucked into a false sense of security.

Adeel [38:14]: You let your guard down a bit, yeah.

Mark [38:16]: Yeah, and then before you know it, it'll happen again. So it's curious, but I'm able to manage it.

Adeel [38:27]: Yeah, it's great. I'd love to hear if you've come up with any more discoveries over the next while, over the years. It sounds like your wife's pretty supportive and validating. Did you find that it has caused any wedges or distance between yourself and loved ones? Absolutely, yeah. It does.

Mark [38:49]: There's times where... I'll be triggered. And she said, I haven't done anything. And of course it's, she don't, you know, walk on eggshells. And so it's just, I'm lucky in the way that she's more supportive than she's not. I mean, there's certain times when you go, God, I probably just need to leave the room for a minute and, you know, not put it on her because it's like anyone that lives with someone that has an ailment and they suffer as well.

Adeel [39:28]: Right. Yeah, they're in it just as much as we are. But for them, it's even more of a mystery because they're not experiencing it. And yes, it can definitely cause some questions and tension there. Well, yeah, I mean, so have you run into anybody else who has it like in real life?

Mark [39:56]: um no i've had people that say they have it things like that and then yeah you know i remember when we did the video um there was a there was a camera guy or whatever he was And he was a bit full of himself. And he, like, did this, that and the other. And he goes, oh, yeah, I have misophobia. And right there I knew that he was just trying to, you know, say something for the sake of saying it. And, you know, and then once in a while... You know, my wife will say, well, that's affecting my misophonia. If I do something, and I say, honey, it's not bleeding misophonia, is it? It's just that I've pissed you off because I've kicked the cat or something. I don't know. Not kicked the cat, but, oh, that's the other thing.

Adeel [40:44]: Visual misophonia. Misokinesia is the name for that, yeah. I thought that was colours.

Mark [40:54]: that's synesthesia oh synesthesia the um actually i just thought of something um in um i i posted this on when i was on that um forum i when i watched the english football um they you know they pronounce their names then i've traced this back to um the 90s when we started um importing italian football and so there were still english commentators but they used to start pronouncing the italian names in italian do you know what i mean now there's a difference between accents and pronunciation um i um you know and so it was almost like well i speak italian and therefore i'm gonna i'm gonna show off and so all these names you know it was um i mean a real stereotypical way of of saying an italian name anyway It began to creep in to the pundits' vernacular when they'd say certain things. But they would use this phrasing, and they'd speak in an English accent, and then when they mentioned the player, they'd put on the accent. Now, again, you can pronounce it correctly without putting the accent on. For example, now... There's a global team there. There's Brazilians, there's Germans, there's French, you know, Italians. But they use three accents. They use the English accent, they use generic South American, right, and Italian. And South American becomes Spanish and this, that, the other. Now, they don't put a German accent on when they're pronouncing Germans. Like, if it's the World Cup, they don't put Australian accent on. And my point is... Is it misophonic? Because I can't watch them when they... They'll be commentating in English and they'll flip into these... silly accents that are not even correct. They just imagine, oh, this is what a South American name sounds like. And so I don't know if it's just my utter annoyance or if it's related to the misophonia because it is a trigger. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if you ever come across this. I don't know if it happens in the States because I don't watch, you know, American football and that.

Adeel [43:34]: Yeah, I mean, you... What you said, I see that in the forums. Sometimes people are annoyed with... certain sounds, certain words even, definitely accents. So it does come up. You know, I don't know if, I mean, I would say, like, if you have that same fight or flight kind of feeling, that's got to be related to Misophonia.

Mark [44:00]: Yeah, I mean, my team is Manchester United, right? And I blame this on their ex-player called Gary Neville. I mean, this won't resonate with a lot of people other than maybe the girl in Manchester. Anyway, he it's called manchester united but it was always abbreviated to man united um and and then when when they're playing you know another team that's not called united they were always just called united because they're the most famous united now what starts happened there when when they're you know they're playing or they're talking about and the pundits will go manchester united manchester united and they trip over these syllables there's no need for for saying it and again i'm getting wound up by like my nephews are here and he's no idea i says well why does he keep saying manchester manchester just say united or man united there's too many syllables but that is definitely definitely uh misophonic or whatever you call it because Again, all these syllables mash together for no other reason. Like, there's teams called Tottenham Hotspurs. They don't call them, they just call them Spurs. There's a team called Brighton and Hove Albion. They just call them Brighton. And yet, this gets started, Manchester United, Manchester United, Manchester United. All the other people have fell in line as if this is the way to do it, and that spoils the... you know, my ability to watch these things. So again, I get no sympathy off the people when I say it's misophonia. They just think I'm, you know, I'm awkward again.

Adeel [45:44]: Yeah, I can imagine you can go into a sports pub in England and and complain about that and be taken seriously, unfortunately. But I have definitely heard of that. I mean, that's not unheard of, that patterns of speech, rushing syllables, I could totally see how that could cause that butterfly situation.

Mark [46:10]: okie doke yeah sorry go on no I was going to say I know we're coming up to nearly an hour now so I don't know if it's any specific or I can what I've talked about today that's going to help me again it's going to help me strive to yeah to see if I can't come up with something I mean don't get me wrong I mean when I learned to meditate and I tried to pass that on to people and it wasn't it was receptive to some people not to others but this if I can get a result by trying you know some form of meditation or whatever you know counter measures we have then by all means I'll email you and you know let you know

Adeel [46:55]: For sure, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to hear. People have come on and talked through meditation. No one's really found a panacea yet, but I don't think I've had anyone come on who's done TM, Transcendental Meditation. So yeah, I'm just curious how that'll gift and how that'll... That'll work for you. But no, I'd love to hear, yeah, I'd love to be in touch and kind of hear about your journey. And yeah, if you do any other Misophonia songs, you know, definitely let me know and I'll share it.

Mark [47:24]: Great stuff. Yeah. Well, thanks for having me.

Adeel [47:27]: Thank you again, Mark. Good luck with your music. I'll be looking for more coming out in the future. If you liked this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to this podcast. You can hit me up by email at hello at or go to the website It's even easier to send a message on Instagram at misophoniapodcast. Follow there or Facebook or on Twitter slash X. It's Misophonia Show. Support the show by visiting at slash mrs.ponypodcast. The music is by Moby. And until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.

Unknown Speaker [48:43]: you