Maja - Exploring Misophonia's Roots and Healing Journey

S7 E31 - 3/19/2024
The episode features Maja, a college student from Connecticut studying psychology, who openly discusses her life experiences with strained family relationships due to Misophonia. She touches on her father's volatility and alcohol problems, and how her mother became her primary misophonic trigger, leading to intense reactions from a young age. Maja shares insights into the link between her Misophonia and childhood trauma, noting how familial unpredictability and her father's behavior might have contributed to her condition. Furthermore, Maja explores therapeutic healing through parts work, inner child healing, mind-body regulation, and spirituality, noting improvements in managing triggers. Despite the challenges, she describes gaining accommodations during college tests but still facing struggles in day-to-day situations. Maja concludes by emphasizing the positive impact of embracing spirituality and working with a spiritual coach to address the root causes of her emotional and health issues, alongside expressing the importance of creating a supportive community for those with Misophonia.


Adeel [0:01]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 7, Episode 31. My name's Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. This week I'm talking to Maya, a college student in Connecticut studying psychology. We spend a lot of time talking about her past and the strained relationships with her family members that she had growing up and how they were impacted by Misophonia. We hear about her father's volatility and trouble with alcohol. the difficulty in being understood and accommodated at home. We talk about life at school and with friends and how it's difficult sometimes to know how much to share. And we spend a lot of time discussing therapy and healing from modalities such as parts work and inner child healing, mind-body regulation, and actually also how she's exploring various sides of spirituality. I love these episodes that delve into the childhood links to misophonia. It comes up so much on the podcast, and in my opinion, is being relatively ignored by the research community in favor of surface-level approaches that can be delivered in a fixed period of time. After the show, let me know what you think. You can reach out by email at or hit me up on Instagram or Facebook at Missiphoney Podcast. By the way, please do head over and leave a quick review or rating wherever you listen to this show. It helps drive us up in the algorithms where folks are looking for Missiphonia. A few of my usual announcements. Of course, thanks for the incredible ongoing support of our Patreon supporters. If you feel like contributing, you can read all about the various levels at slash misophonia podcast. This episode is also sponsored by the personal journaling app that I developed called Basil. B-A-S-A-L. Basil provides AI-powered insights into your journal entries and guides you with new writing prompts based on those insights. And you can even explore many different therapy approaches, modalities, and philosophies. It's available on iOS and Android. You can check the show notes or go to All right, now here's my conversation with Maya. Maya, welcome to the podcast. Great to have you here.

Maja [2:13]: Hi. Yeah, I'm so happy to be here. And yeah, I'm so grateful.

Adeel [2:18]: Cool. Yeah. Do you want to let us know, I guess, where you're around, where you're located?

Maja [2:23]: Yeah. So I live in Connecticut and I go to school. I'm in college and I'm studying psychology right now. And yeah.

Adeel [2:37]: Very cool. And is that psychology influenced a little bit by misophonia at all? Do you see that as part of your studies or career going forward?

Maja [2:46]: Definitely misophonia influenced my decision to study psychology, but there's also various just mind-body. I'm very interested in the mind-body and how it all interacts. So it was definitely a factor, but I'm not exactly sure about specifically researching misophonia yet.

Adeel [3:07]: I guess there are other topics other than misophonia in the world. No, that's very cool. Mind-body is something I'm fascinated about, that interaction, how they kind of blend together. Yeah. And all the philosophies around that. Well, very cool. Well, then I guess maybe tell us a little bit about misophonia-wise. I guess we know what's the state of affairs for you these days.

Maja [3:34]: Okay, I can start from the beginning. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Adeel [3:37]: All right, I heard you have some notes, so let's get there. Yeah, for sure.

Maja [3:43]: Yeah, so I'll start from the beginning of the first memory I have with Misophonia. I specifically remember it was in seventh grade. I there was this one kid in the class who he wanted to be like the class clown. He was very just wanted to make people laugh and do things. And he when he would sneeze, he made these loud noises. And I don't want to be too triggering, but we can imagine.

Adeel [4:17]: Yeah.

Maja [4:18]: yeah and everyone around him i was sitting like in front of him and everyone around him would like say stop stop like no don't do that but for me it just was next level intense anger like no matter how many times he did it i every single time i had to turn around say like stop this fury inside that could not be contained i had to let it out and yeah that was my earliest memory outside of my family so yeah yeah yeah so um what i mean well first of all what was his reaction you know he he didn't take it seriously like he didn't really take it seriously yeah And I've had that reaction to my misophonia a lot. When I tell people about it, they just don't take it seriously. So that was his reaction to it at the time.

Adeel [5:21]: Then that was your first trigger. Did it start to kind of get into the home, too, with family life and sounds?

Maja [5:30]: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, with my family, I can't pinpoint exactly when it started, the exact moment, but it was also around that time. I can share a memory, I don't want it to be too triggering, but... I remember because my mom would drive me to school. This was seventh grade. I'm not sure how old you are. Probably like 10, 11.

Adeel [5:54]: Yeah, I'm way more than that.

Maja [6:00]: And my mom would drive me to school and every single morning she would be eating next to me. And... I would have these like, this rage that I just had to get out, I would tell her stop. And it was really intense. And she we kind of had a back and forth, like fighting it. It was fighting. Essentially, we were fighting. And this happened every single morning, I was in tears. And my even then my family didn't really recognize that there's something going on. I didn't even recognize that there's something going on. I thought, you know, okay, I just anger issues, maybe, you know, nothing. I had problems with my mom typically. So I was like, okay, just another one of those issues. So it didn't even really register that much. But that was definitely stuck with me until now that memory.

Adeel [7:04]: Yeah. And, um, again, maybe tell me about, um, you know, you're having issues with your mom. Was it just kind of, well, quote unquote, typical kind of, uh, middle age, um, middle school. I mean, that's where I am, but more like middle school kind of issues or was there other stuff happening that made the home environment a little bit more tense or, or, um, conflict ridden?

Maja [7:30]: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, there are, There was a lot of dynamics going on inside the family. There definitely was the typical middle school behavior, like, oh, I just want to be independent. Leave me alone. But it was also a lot deeper than that. It was very much, I feel, looking back now, very energetic. I could not... be near her, you know, and it's till this day, I still struggle to be near her just, there's something about, I don't know if she was the, like, the first, like, kind of, I don't know how to say it, like the first ember, where that kind of sparked the misophonia. I don't know if she was that for me. But there's definitely this tense energy we have with each other that I physically can't be in the same room with her, misophonia or not. So.

Adeel [8:36]: Do you know, I'm just kind of curious when that started, did that start around the same time or that just kind of not, I don't know, just having that conflicting energy or was that something that started even earlier, maybe, I don't know, toddler age or early elementary school?

Maja [8:52]: Definitely earlier. I feel like we had this deep, deep connection, some understanding of one another, this connection. I don't know if connection is exactly the right word, but some type of tie we had to each other. And it it caused my, like her to be my biggest misophonic trigger. Um, she's my number one misophonic trigger.

Adeel [9:24]: And then how about the rest of your family? Like your dad and siblings, if you have any.

Maja [9:30]: Yeah. So my dad, it like, if I were to rank it, it's my mom, number one, my dad, number two. And then my sister, I have a sister, she's older than me. And, She's number three. And also my dog is very triggering to me. He was more triggering growing up, but now I've kind of able to, I'm able to have more compassionate, which we could get to later. But yeah, my dad, I, I guess I could just jump into it.

Adeel [10:05]: Yeah. Go wherever, wherever this goes. Yeah.

Maja [10:09]: Okay, yeah, I'll just jump into this story. So another idea I have around how I developed misophonia is I know there's a lot of like, Oh, is it trauma related? You know, and my dad, he was an alcoholic growing up in the family. So we kind of tiptoed around him and walking on eggshells. And there was this big elephant in the room that we never talked about. And it led me to just lock myself in my room. And it was always me in my room. And the outside world, I would just be listening what was going on outside my door. And like the fear around like, Oh, like, is he going to come home drunk? Is he going to be making noise, he would typically make noise when he came back. So I have a feeling that's the fight or flight in me that kind of came grew up from that and yeah it was just the listening outside my door and feeling helpless you could say like helpless and um as a kid like you don't really know what to do in that situation except listen and that's what I did and I that's my theory of

Adeel [11:32]: why or how i develop the misophonia so hey that's not a first time i've heard a similar story like that so um that makes that makes a lot of sense to me and something i wish would be researched more um it just and so just to reiterate that so like your dad would be out maybe after work or something and he'd come back and you'd be listening for that you'd be making a lot of like banging sounds and stuff just kind of fumbling and then you'll be yelling maybe at you guys like we're just going to be in a random emotion

Maja [12:07]: it was very chaotic it was you don't know it was unpredictable sometimes angry with my mom a lot sometimes sad sometimes you know it was so chaotic so it was unpredictable so that's i was scared as a kid like what's gonna happen you know

Adeel [12:31]: And I guess how did your, maybe how did your mom react as well when you come back like this? Did you see your mom kind of in a worried, tense, extra tense kind of mode?

Maja [12:43]: Yeah, my mom would typically also be scared. She also didn't know what to do. And we, me and my sister as kids picked that up and we picked up the fear and we like you always think like oh yeah like look up to your parents and adults and as a child you see your mom in fear not knowing what to do it's it kind of works your perception as a child like who do you trust who can you depend on where is that sense of safety there is no sense of safety and that yeah i just i witnessed that as a kid and she would also tell me and my sister to like oh go talk to your dad like as he's drunk oh really okay yeah like we kind of took up that role of like you gotta do it yourself be the adult in the situation so

Adeel [13:48]: Yeah, and I was going to say like part of, you know, part of a kid who's confused at age is not just looking for the adult to provide safety, but your party is probably also maybe feeling protective of your parent. And so you've taken on this other role as well in your brain, subconsciously maybe or otherwise. So you're kind of like now... extra sensitive for more than yourself which which can um that thing can not you know which which can definitely overload your already overloaded nervous system a thousand percent i need to write that down yeah yeah um and and so you said it was kind of the elephant in the room or just not talked about did it ever get talked about or like how many years did this kind of go on for

Maja [14:37]: You know, to this day, we don't really talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We kind of assume my dad doesn't drink anymore, and he's doing much better just mentally and physically. So we don't really talk about it, but my dad did apologize to me pretty recently, two, three months ago, saying... Like, oh, I'm sorry that I wasn't the dad that you needed me to. And that was really, really healing for me to hear.

Adeel [15:12]: Where did that come from? Where did that come from, do you think?

Maja [15:17]: I think, yeah, because I live alone now. That's a big reason why I moved out of state, because I'm originally from New Jersey. My family lives in New Jersey. Mm-hmm. And I moved out of state to college to live alone. And I think a big reason why they're just realizing how important this aspect of my life is to take care of. I need things. I need to live alone. I need that in order to function properly. I seriously can't function when... I live at home it's tears and anger and it's just not a place to heal for me so they they see that that I'm changing and I've definitely misophonic wise gotten better regarding triggers just the past two years i feel i've built up my level of safety within myself through just standing up for what i need and setting the high standards of okay i need to live alone and i'm gonna do that you know i'm gonna make that happen and I'm not going to settle for anything less. And I've been working through that. So I think they just, they notice the changes and the growth that I've gone through.

Adeel [16:47]: That's great. Well, what do you think about misophonia in general? So I think you said earlier, right, they still don't really take it seriously? Or are they specifically trying to maybe accommodate when you're home?

Maja [17:01]: Yeah, so when I was younger, they didn't they did not that was probably the biggest thing that led me to i need to leave this place this place is not safe for me um i could tell a little story i had a therapist specialized in misophonia and we had family session all my entire family and the focus was on me for once in my life the focus was on me and they just physically mentally could not make me the priority in their life emotionally and therapist he told step by step what they need to do like oh like warn maya before you even step foot into the kitchen because it's going to be triggering and even if she's in another room go knock on her door and just let her know so she has that option of okay i'm gonna go i could put in headphones and just the option to choose to feel like what to do to feel safe and My mom specifically in the session, she was like, yes, yes, totally. I understand. Yes, I'll do it. And then immediately, like, I'm not even kidding you. Immediately after the session finished, she started like making food right in front of me. And that my level of trust and safety, like completely good, like disconnected from her in that moment. So, yeah.

Adeel [18:53]: Well, yeah, it's amazing how, I don't know, how kind of tone deaf people can be. Did it, I guess, I mean, you said there was conflict with your mom. Like, did this start to just kind of drive a wedge between yourself and your other family members in terms of how close you would become or not?

Maja [19:14]: Yeah, honestly, yeah, a little bit.

Adeel [19:19]: I mean, do you still, like, hang out and do family stuff and holidays and... Oh, no.

Maja [19:23]: Okay, yeah.

Adeel [19:24]: Just because some people are able to flip that switch, but a lot of people aren't. I'm just kind of curious where your family is on that spectrum.

Maja [19:34]: Oh, no. Like, I think it's taken a long time for me to accept, like, I cannot do the things that other... people my age can do with their family like when they go back from college like oh like thanksgiving and christmas like holiday like no that's not something that i look forward to at all that's i i fear it it's like i fear it for the whole year honestly and yeah i mean it's it has gotten better i can't say it hasn't um just to compare Before, when I was living at home, they weren't accommodating, really. They would still just ignore what I asked of them and just not taking it seriously. But when I live alone and I go visit, which I don't try to go as often, I think they see that I just come from a completely new space. I come from... more I have more empathy for them and more compassion which that has changed over the past couple that's what's changed like they haven't changed but I think I've just opened up my heart more to them and see different perspectives not just my perspective and I come from a space of this is what I need this is what I'm going to do and not apologize for it like An example, on Christmas, I only spent like a couple hours on Christmas with them. And eating is just not an option with them. And I told them, I'm going to go outside to eat my food alone. And that's what I need. And they didn't question it. didn't question it anymore, which usually they have some emotional tie to it. Like, Oh no, like that's so sad. Like we need to be a family and eat together. They, I think they've come to a place of acceptance. Like this is what she needs and we have to let her do what she needs to do.

Adeel [21:51]: Okay. Well, that's a bit of a step and plus your dad kind of, uh, apologizing is an interesting step as well.

Maja [21:57]: Yeah.

Adeel [21:58]: Um, what does your sister think of all this?

Maja [22:02]: Yeah, my sister, she, she has been the most accommodating out of my family. She always lets me know when she's going to be eating or potential trigger sounds. And I, I don't express it as much. But I really do appreciate that. It's just like the little things that people do and notice really mean a lot when it's when they when they don't have it, they don't know. But it's like, just simple things of putting themselves in my shoes and our shoes for a while, you know, and it means it means the world.

Adeel [22:51]: Yeah, sometimes it's all it takes is to kind of reduce that threat level that we develop inside of us. It's just to know that someone else at least is going to try, or at least is not going to make fun of it. And how do you feel in terms of, I'm curious, like, do you feel as close as you would want to be with your sister? Or was this kind of also, you know, something that put some distance between you two growing up?

Maja [23:25]: Yeah. You know, I think our relationship is right where it needs to be. I think misophonia is probably not... the entire key playing factor in our relationship. There's more to it. There's different dynamics. But I think we've both accepted, like, yeah, this is what I need. And we try to make it work when we see each other. And we appreciate the time we do spend together.

Adeel [23:58]: Do you talk about the issues with your dad growing up?

Maja [24:04]: To my sister? Yeah. Ah, that's a good question. We don't really address it. I mean, it's still that elephant in the room. It's still that elephant in the room. And my sister is also just very different from me. So, yeah, yeah.

Adeel [24:27]: Well, moving into other stuff, non-family stuff, I guess growing up, maybe at school or friends, did they start to, or did you notice, did you get triggered from them? Did you tell anybody about your misophonia?

Maja [24:44]: Oh, yeah. So I typically kept quiet. It's still something I'm working on in my friendships and relationships to keep quiet about misophonia. suffer in silence because in when I was younger growing up I didn't know how to communicate my needs very well or I didn't communicate it in a way where I was very secure in what I was saying it was very coming from a really emotional space and they kind of picked that up and were like oh I don't want to bring this up again like this is not something I want to talk about it's making me uncomfortable so it the friends that I did have growing up they didn't really react the best um They just, they didn't take it seriously because I think on some level, I didn't take it seriously and make it a priority in the friendship for like, this is what I need to feel safe. I didn't make my safety a priority in the friendship. So it, it was kind of that. And another example I could give is my best friend at the time. She, I let her know about the misophonia and when we would like FaceTime, she i'd ask like oh can you mute yourself when she would eat which i would never have someone eating on the phone with me now i would leave but um back then she was just she got angry at me and she like muted herself and was like laughing at me so it's those situations that still stick with me a little bit of and cloud my perception of the present relationships that I have. Like, oh my God, like they're going to react just like that, you know? But I think it's, yeah, sorry.

Adeel [26:44]: No, no, no. That's going to say, yeah. I mean, for a lot of us, like after we've gone through situations like that, as we get older, we kind of make that calculation of this worth even saying, because we've seen or heard of the reactions that we could get.

Maja [26:58]: Yeah.

Adeel [27:01]: Um, so I guess, um, well, I mean, at school too, were you, were you like, how did, did you, was school okay? Did you, you know, did it affect your grades and whatnot and, and kind of how you were doing there?

Maja [27:15]: Great. Not really. Honestly, I think I was pretty like perfectionist. I was a perfectionist, so it, I was really high achieving and I would not I would do everything even if that meant that I have to suffer. And in college, I know there's conversations around accommodations and like during testing. And I did get accommodations from the office and I was able to test in a completely separate environment with like brown noise and earplugs. So that was helpful. That was definitely helpful. while i was in school and but it was only during testing it wasn't really in class when i was in class it was very triggering very very triggering when people around me would make triggering sounds and There'd be times I would just have to go to the bathroom and cry. Like I couldn't, I couldn't hold it in, you know, like it's like not something you can hold in. So I, I, I realized that. And right now I transitioned into online. So I'm all online now. I don't go in person, which has been very helpful. right and i guess what are you i mean what were your what happened well actually i was going to ask you um when did you find out it had a name that misophonia was a thing yeah it was probably i was a sophomore in high school i don't know the age again like 15 maybe um i had i was crying i was angry at these noises my family was making and I went down to my basement because that was kind of my safety spot, living at home. And I just searched up on the computer, like, anger at noises, extreme anger at noises.

Adeel [29:25]: Yeah, you'll definitely get a message to search for that, yeah.

Maja [29:29]: Yeah, and it came right up, and it just all clicked. And from that moment... I took action. I immediately was like, I need to do something now that I know. And I found a therapist. So, yeah, it was very enlightening. It was like my enlightenment.

Adeel [29:50]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we usually end up finding that and then doing a lot of research. Yeah. So after that, or even before that, I'm curious, what are your day-to-day coping methods?

Maja [30:05]: day-to-day um pretty much avoidance i i know it's not the most convenient thing i i live alone completely separate from like any walls it's like its own unit so i typically spend my days inside alone and I mean, I have, like, AirPod Pros with noise cancellation that I always keep with me in case. And I sleep with earphones, or earplugs, sorry, at night. And, yeah, those are just my, like, quick coping mechanisms, like, in case of emergency. But long-term-wise, coping... mechanisms. I, I really wanted to bring this up, actually. I, I've been for a couple months now, I've been practicing brain retraining and nervous system regulation work, where you change how you perceive, like, stuff completely. And I know you've definitely talked about this before with other people, but That has been the most impactful coping mechanism long-term wise. My nervous system just, it's so much less heightened, the triggers now. They just, I know they're going to pass and I know I have the tools to cope. with all the nervous system regulation, different tools I learned. So it's just knowing that I have the tools, it's a relief and has been really helpful.

Adeel [32:03]: Yeah, no, that's right. Like we said before, having options, having tools that we can go to helps. What kind of tools are you using for this and kind of where did you learn about these techniques?

Maja [32:18]: Yeah, so this does go in hand with misophonia because I got sick with chronic fatigue. after my, my body just gave up at one point, like two years ago, I was 18. And my body just gave up. And I was so depleted. And it took me a year and a half, I found this school online school, it's called chronic fatigue school. I think they're changing their name to Somia. And I did this group coaching program, it was a live group coaching program for three months. And they have that these are the these are where I got the tools from they, there's different like nervous system regulation, like, I don't know how to say it. Like you, it's kind of like self massage, like you find different points that connect to your vagus nerve, and you massage them. And one of them is like you stop at like whenever you feel the trigger you stop um you put you imagine like putting distance between you and that trigger and that part of you that's getting triggered because it's not you're not it the trigger you know what i mean just not you're not they they said it's hard to like i'm having trouble explaining it but they it separates you from the trigger. Like there's, it's just this part of you that's doing this. It's not you that's doing this. You're original.

Adeel [34:09]: So this is kind of like a parts, parts therapy.

Maja [34:13]: Yeah.

Adeel [34:14]: Kind of like, you know, the variant of internal family systems. It's just the realization that there are multiple parts inside you that are, and some of them are reacting in ways that, maybe based on memories from the past or um there's parts of you that have kind of sprung up over time to try to protect you maybe that maybe that's what they're talking about but it sounds does sound like some form of parts parts therapy yeah no yeah that's exactly what it is and you just give yourself and that part extra love and it's it's like it mixes in inner child therapy the parts therapy um

Maja [34:56]: There's the trauma resolution model they give you with prepping your nervous system when you're going into a situation before you even... When you know you're going to be triggered, you could prep beforehand and... Like do different visualizations of just imagining yourself in that scenario in a regulated state before it even happens. So it kind of sets you up for success instead of failure. Not failure, but yeah.

Adeel [35:28]: Well, reaction to triggers.

Maja [35:30]: Yeah. No, not failure. That's definitely not failure. That's the wrong word.

Adeel [35:35]: Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. No, that's fascinating. I mean, yeah, these are kind of all things that I have. I've been picking up either myself or talking to other people like the Sephora Weissman, who I actually just had on, I think, just now, just in the past week. She definitely is a therapist. She has dysphonia and talks about dysphonia, but also really deals with chronic fatigue syndrome. And it seems like a lot of these things are not unrelated.

Maja [36:04]: Yeah. No, it's, it's all related. Like it's all related. Like your adrenal, adrenal fatigue and fatigue. It's all, it's all related.

Adeel [36:16]: Um, so this, yeah, this is great. So how do you, I guess, um, where do you feel you are on this journey? Like, is this kind of like some, is this kind of tangibly helping within a day to day? Um, even you're saying you're alluding to helping a little bit, um, with family, although, you know, you need to kind of like moderate the time that you spend with them. But do you feel like it is kind of like doing the retraining? Because in my experience, you know, I'm able to like go back into the past and maybe get to the point where I find these parts that I can kind of self-soothe. But like the misappointing thing is like taking longer than I originally thought. It's a tougher nut to crack. But I do feel like these things are kind of on the path, but it's, it's going to take more practice, I think. At least that's where I feel like right now. Yeah. To retrain the brain to maybe forget some of these old wirings that were etched in in childhood.

Maja [37:15]: Yeah. No, yeah.

Adeel [37:17]: In my case, I know there's a lot of people who have other ideas or there are many different ways, I guess, that misophonia can be acquired. But yeah, my story kind of resonates with yours. That's why I kind of feel like I'm kind of relating a little more.

Maja [37:37]: Yeah. No, I hear that. I think... it just has given me so much hope with like, okay, maybe this will be the cure, you know, like this could cure it, you know?

Adeel [37:56]: It might take work, but it does feel like things are changing. Like I'm feeling, you know, it sounds like you're feeling kind of a shift where gradually it's kind of helping.

Maja [38:06]: yeah like the more i connect with states of like joy and ease and find different just outlets to connect with those i it's so much easier to go back into that state and not stay in the state of dysregulation and being triggered feeling triggered so Yeah, it definitely takes work. I mean, you have to be committed because it's your brain. You can't really trick your brain. Your brain knows and remembers everything.

Adeel [38:40]: Have you thought of maybe brain transplant and just kind of starting from scratch?

Maja [38:43]: Honestly. Yeah. Honestly. Yep.

Adeel [38:48]: do you find that it's uh because you know i always feel like you know the work we do in mississippi it helps in a lot of other things like for a lot of people maybe it's anger issues um or just kind of like productivity or creativity are you feeling feeling like it's helping or affecting other parts of your of your experience creativity not really i i want to believe that i

Maja [39:15]: I am very like artistic and I have those artistic capabilities and I, I do want to, but, and I have been like trying more art and painting and pottery, you know, like little different things. But I don't think misophonia specifically changes that for me. And I, I don't, I guess I haven't tried it enough to see the show.

Adeel [39:41]: Yeah. What about, um, like misokinesia and kind of the other senses, um, like visual triggers. Has that been an issue with you too?

Maja [39:52]: Visual triggers for sure. Um, with my mom specifically, just like even putting her fingers together is triggering to me very, um, just from the corner of my eye. Um, Yeah, definitely visual triggers. If I know that there's something going on near me, that just triggers me too. Just the knowing that there's something going on.

Adeel [40:21]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. And I guess, how about, well, maybe, I don't know, we talk about friends, like relationships, has it kind of like come up at all? Like how do you approach subjects?

Maja [40:40]: I, I, yes, I actually, that's something I definitely struggle with, just bringing it up to my friends and being really open and transparent about it, instead of trying to keep it to myself. Like, there's this part of me that thinks that if I share that I have misophonia, it's gonna ruin the friendship that like, they're not going to react how I want them to, or they're not going to be there for me the way I need them to. And like, before I even tell them, it's like, I'm already giving up on them, which isn't really fair to them. You know, like they don't even have the chance to see, to, they don't have the chance to be that, you know? So it's like, I, it's definitely something I need to work through and give, give people chances and be okay with, if it doesn't go how I need to, it goes back to the standards, like having those standards, if they're not what I need, and they don't, they can't provide me that level of safety, no matter how small or small or big the relationship, I gotta let them go, you know, it's just for me.

Adeel [41:59]: I mean, it says a lot about them if they can't do that for you. Yeah. Not to kind of, like, cause any drama. But that would be kind of my advice. Yeah. If I was your, you know, day-to-day friend kind of thing. Are you, like, seeing a therapist still about anything? About misophonia or others?

Maja [42:20]: Yeah. Yeah, so I was with the misophonia therapist for four years. But when I started the brain retraining and the nervous system regulation, I just felt like talking wasn't going to do it for me. It wasn't really getting me. It was nice to have someone to talk to and support me through the situations in a way, just being my friend. But to really help heal the misophonia I found more healing in like somatic therapy and the mind body regulation stuff right

Adeel [43:06]: Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you've connected it to what you need to connect to, to the past, right? You know, the things that happened in the past, and now it's time to kind of work on those.

Maja [43:19]: Yeah.

Adeel [43:20]: I imagine, like, it's not, like, talking about it more might not, it's going to have diminishing returns, unless now we kind of try to retrain those wires, those memories, those neural connections.

Maja [43:33]: Yeah, like, I... I mentally know everything that I need to know now about my past. It's more like embodying the new experience that I want to live on a daily basis, not constantly reliving the past. That's really where I'm at, just embodying where I want to be.

Adeel [43:56]: yeah well that's great do you have any um um kind of do you have a i don't know not a plan but do you have a goal or it's kind of what you want to do with this um they just want to do more of the same and just kind of like the stuff we just talked about and just kind of practice practice practice or is there other kind of exercises or things that you're gonna try this year

Maja [44:18]: yeah i i'm very much into spirituality and i am seeing a spiritual coach who we work with he i i've told him about misophonia but it's he gets really to the root cause of these emotional imbalances that or are these blockages in my system that cause like the health problems? I have a bunch of health problems and he just really gets the root and the thought pattern behind these, like the thought pattern behind what causes the pain I have or, you know, like different issues. So I think mixing in that with, the mind-body regulation, somatic therapy. I feel really hopeful that it could really just excavate the negative experiences I've had that led me to misophonia and everything around it.

Adeel [45:23]: That's a fascinating term, to excavate it out. Because, yeah, if it is in your case, it does feel like it is kind of rooted in some of that, those old layers that are inside of you. Yeah, that's an interesting metaphor. I'm always interested in this plenty of metaphors. And so, is there a name for this kind of the spiritual advisor that you're going to, and a reason why you went with this particular person?

Maja [45:54]: Um, that's a long story. It's long for the podcast.

Adeel [46:00]: Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Maja [46:00]: But he just really... Yeah, we don't have to get into that. Yeah, he just really delves into, like, chakras and nature and just, like, recovering your original being just before all of the conditioning, before... everything your childhood, you know, like the original nature that's within all of us.

Adeel [46:29]: fascinating okay okay um yeah no I'm really excited for uh for this this path you're on I'm glad you took it it's uh it's I don't know something I mentioned earlier just really resonates with uh my thinking and maybe it's just influenced by my particular um you know childhood and past and how similar it is and uh and and the similarities that I've heard with many people not just uh most of the many people who've come on the podcast there's there's often been something you know, something in childhood where you can kind of make that, that connection where it, uh, there was a, um, that, that child was either confused or trying to protect itself or trying to protect, uh, another caregiver. And so, um, so excavating, I'll use that term a little bit that out once you, once you've kind of found it, um, is, uh, it's an interesting, uh, it's a. I mean, whether it cures the miscarriage or not, I feel like it's going to have an effect. And hopefully you're reaping the rewards in your fatigue or whatever other issues that you're having. So I feel like it's great if it benefits you in those areas as well.

Maja [47:39]: Yeah. Yeah, no, thank you. I really appreciate it.

Adeel [47:42]: Well, yeah, I mean, we're coming up to about an hour. And, yeah, this has been fascinating. I know it's going to affect and resonate and help a lot of people. Anything else you want to share in terms of things that you've learned or, you know, ideas about misophonia or anything from your experience?

Maja [48:03]: Yeah, just I... I have covered a lot.

Adeel [48:09]: I feel like I really... I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I know you took some notes. If there's anything else there that's as fascinating as the stuff you've already shared, I'd love to hear. But if that's it, this is super great. I'm very grateful for hearing the rest of your story. I know we talked, I mentioned earlier, we talked about doing some kind of group calls last year or the year before. It was great to dive in a little deeper and get to know your story.

Maja [48:38]: yeah no i this was so much fun i i love connecting with people i don't really connect with people who have misophonia i don't know it just i feel like it could be hard to find i'm i'm opening myself up more on instagram i think just following more people who have misophonia because just making like creating that space for yourself is like just becomes the norm you know yeah does that make sense like you create whatever you create or you choose like whoever you choose to follow or surround yourself with, it becomes your reality in a sense. So yeah, I've been opening myself up to that.

Adeel [49:26]: Well, that's great. And, you know, if it's okay, I'll tag you probably when this goes out. But also, but you're right. I mean, the reason why I started the podcast was when I started to meet some people of Missiphonia and realized we have so much in common that we almost don't have to start from scratch and introduce ourselves.

Maja [49:42]: You know what I mean? Yeah.

Adeel [49:44]: We have so many kind of walked in each other's footsteps.

Maja [49:48]: Yeah.

Adeel [49:48]: It's like you're wrapped around. It just always feels like when I'm around Missiphonia strangers, I'm actually around friends, like lifelong friends.

Maja [49:56]: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, nice to see you again. Like we've done this before. Yeah.

Adeel [50:02]: Well, Maya. Yeah. Thanks again. This has been great.

Maja [50:06]: Yeah, no, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here and to, yeah, just talk and have conversations like this. I'm really grateful.

Adeel [50:18]: Thank you again, Maya. So much like talking to a mirror, at least in terms of how I think about Misophonia. Amazing conversation. If you liked this episode, don't forget to leave a quick review or just hit the five stars wherever you listen to this podcast. You can hit me up by email at or go to the website It's even easier to send a message on Instagram at Mr. Funny Podcast. You can follow there or on Facebook and on Twitter or access Mr. Funny Show. Support the show by visiting the Patreon at slash mrfunnypodcast. Theme music, as always, is by Moby. And until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.

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