Samantha - Exploring misophonia's challenges and coping strategies

Adeel [0:00]: Welcome to the Misophonia podcast. You're listening to episode 18 of season 2. My name's Adeel Ahmad and I have Misophonia. First off, you were probably expecting this episode a couple days ago and my apologies. I got overextended on a number of projects that I'm trying to finish off by the end of the summer and I had to slip this week's episode. I assure you we'll be back on schedule every Wednesday starting next week. I'm particularly bummed because Wednesday was my guest's birthday. So a very happy belated birthday to Samantha, a longtime listener of the show, and I can't wait to get to her story. But first, a reminder that the Mississiponi Association Convention is coming up. Totally virtual this year. It's going to be on October 8th and going through to the 10th. There are lots of great speakers. I'll also be speaking a little bit about community, about the podcast and lessons learned. There's links to the show notes, but you can also Google for the Mississiponi Association Convention and find out how to get access. I want to, of course, do a shout-out from MisoList, and this time Courtney Parsons Art. Courtney is obviously a misophone and a graphic designer and artist. You can find her on Instagram and support her work at Courtney Parsons Art. remember if you know a business operated by misophone please hit the add button on misolist.com m-i-s-o-l-i-s-t.com this is a great way to find places where we own businesses where we work so we can all support each other financially all right now here's my conversation with samantha samantha welcome to the podcast good to have you thank you so much for having me You know, I know you've been a fan of the podcast, or at least a listener of the podcast for a while. And yeah, I'd like to find out where people are kind of located.

Samantha [2:00]: I'm in Texas, about an hour away from downtown Austin. I'm self-employed. I do cleaning, window washing, pet sitting, that kind of thing. Just whatever can keep me self-employed. I enjoy that.

Adeel [2:15]: Right. And did you get into like did you kind of like veer yourself towards self-employment for kind of the autonomy, be able to kind of control your environment?

Samantha [2:24]: I absolutely did. Excellent. I don't think it was misophonia related, but I just I really enjoyed that autonomy. Not having people tell me when I can eat or go to the bathroom or when I need to wake up, basically.

Adeel [2:39]: Yeah, as many advantages, but I'm sure, yeah. Me's phones and listening are, I'm sure, nodding.

Samantha [2:45]: Oh, yeah. I love being able to make my own schedule.

Adeel [2:50]: And as a bonus, is it pretty good for you in terms of sounds, too?

Samantha [2:56]: Um, yeah, I'm usually listening to this podcast or music while I'm working. So yeah. Um, I, I carry a variety of headphones with me wherever I go for sure.

Adeel [3:08]: Yeah. As we all do. And there's one other thing that you carry around, uh, that I know you've, you've sent me, uh, images of that I wanted to talk about on the podcast is something you swear by or is the, uh, uh, something called earpiece. Do you want to talk a bit about that?

Samantha [3:22]: Yes, absolutely. Um, I had known for a couple of years, uh, what misophonia was called and you know, all that. Um, and I was just, I had a breaking point. I was in a car with a group of people and, uh, they weren't doing anything, you know, rude or obnoxious, but I was being triggered and I felt like I could get out of the car. So I was like, in the moment I started looking on Amazon for, uh, ear earplugs. earbuds, anything for noise canceling. And I, I did some research later that day and I decided on earpiece and they're just clear little earbuds and they have these inserts that are like light, medium and heavy noise blocking. And I always use the light one for when I'm with people and I like say they're eating chips or just whatever. It muffles it enough to deal with it, but I can still hear people speaking. And they come in a keychain and I just I have them wherever I go. And so lately they haven't been helpful because they're useful because I haven't been around many people. But yeah, they're they're great. I highly recommend them.

Adeel [4:37]: Yeah, the keychain piece is great. I never thought of just kind of keeping them on the, one of the things that I always have on me when I'm going out. The sizes of the inserts. So, you know, usually when you get earphones, you get the three sizes for your, you know, the shape of your ear. But this is, these are three inserts basically that have different blocking levels.

Samantha [5:03]: Yeah, they're tiny little pieces of plastic that they would be really easy to lose. But yeah, it just goes inside the middle of the ear plug. And there's only one size to the ear plug, and they fit fine. They kind of adjust to your ear, I think. But yeah, most people can't even see them.

Adeel [5:23]: Yeah, very cool. Okay.

Samantha [5:25]: They're actually marketed toward concert goers, but... Again, haven't been able to use them for that either. Quarantine.

Adeel [5:33]: No one remembers the last time they've been to a show. Okay, cool. And so you're in this long car ride that kind of pushed you towards this. And so you're, let's talk about your friends. Do they now know that you have misophonia? Is it something you talk about with people around you?

Samantha [5:57]: I have a couple friends that I've told. I haven't told everybody, like, got up on a podium and said, this is my condition. But a few of them do know. as small few are very are careful and try not to trigger me or they're mindful or they're like does this bother you not in an antagonizing way you know in a considerate way and that really means a lot to me but um a few of them probably know that i'm just quote weird not that i think i'm weird but yeah A few of them, no. And my family is well aware of that as well.

Adeel [6:37]: Right. And so you've mentioned, you know, I've sent you stickers of the podcast and you've mentioned that you got sisters, I think, that also have miso?

Samantha [6:47]: Yeah. So I have three older sisters and two of them I know have misophonia. My father, I don't know if he has misophonia, but He apparently used to make fun of my mom when she was eating cereal because she'd click the bowl a lot. And I mean, it's normal for, you know, people to have their quirks like that. I don't know if he did have misophonia or not, but my second oldest and the one closest to me in age I know do have misophonia. And there's a little bit of backstory there if you want to get into that.

Adeel [7:23]: Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'd like to hear that.

Samantha [7:26]: Um, so yeah, growing up, uh, my two older sisters kind of helped raise us and my second oldest sister definitely had misophonia. Um, I don't want to speak ill of anybody, but she, there was definitely some mistreatment going on. Um, me and my sister closest to me in age would like anything we would do, like turn the page of a magazine or whistle or like, just just anything that would trigger her really and it was just really normal everyday sounds nothing too obnoxious right like most triggers um and she would she would like throw things at us and like like spit on us like just anything like to force us to stop to leave the room i mean it it would cause a pretty pretty big rage reaction in her And of course she was a young teenager, so she didn't know what was going on. And we sure didn't.

Adeel [8:28]: At that point, did you and your closest sister realize that you had a misophonia too? Do you remember?

Samantha [8:35]: No, I really lament that because I have like large chunks of memory loss. I don't know if that's due to stress or trauma or what, but I just, I don't remember. I don't remember that being an issue for myself. sounds. I don't remember that.

Adeel [8:55]: Gotcha. Okay. But yeah, you're... And what about your... Did you have... You had a number of siblings, I guess. You had an oldest sister that did not have any miso?

Samantha [9:05]: Yeah. I don't think she has it. I mean, to this day, she'll get annoyed at certain things, but it really would take a lot for her to even say something. So I don't really think that she does, even mildly. And my mom definitely doesn't either. She just flat out doesn't get it.

Adeel [9:23]: Right. And what about your... Did you guys notice that your dad had miso before? I'm just trying to get the timeline because there have been people who've kind of... um it's hard to remember back you know going back for anybody really going back all the way to then but uh some people you know have anecdotal memories of maybe one of their parents having it uh back in the day and there have been you know a couple people who've expressed maybe um at least to them, it felt like something got transferred, you know, that kind of some trauma or something got just kind of some empathy, I don't know, some kind of empathic transfer happened where they feel like they may have picked it up. So, you know, this seems like a situation where I don't know if any of that is true, but I'm just curious if that resonates with you maybe as a potential factor.

Samantha [10:19]: Yeah, I don't think so. You're asking about my father. I don't think he had it. I just bring that up because that's the only memory I have of him being annoyed by a sound. I don't know. I think it could be, well, I do think it's genetic. I don't know. I don't know if we're born with it. That's kind of an interesting thing. Or if it's something, you know, neurological that happens to us later in life. I don't know. But I do know that the three of us, three out of four daughters have it.

Adeel [10:53]: Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. And yeah. And then, so do you know, do you remember kind of around what age you kind of start to feel it?

Samantha [11:03]: Oh, man. I don't remember.

Adeel [11:06]: If you don't, that's fine. Yeah. It's just one of my standard questions.

Samantha [11:11]: I was a young adult. I was a young adult. That's safe to say.

Adeel [11:15]: Yeah. Yeah. And it was basically kind of family life that was triggering you. I remember, I think in our preamble, you said you guys lived in a pretty rural area. Yeah.

Samantha [11:28]: Yeah, I'm not out in the sticks or anything, but besides going to school, we didn't really hang out with people or have much family. So it wasn't until I was a young adult that I started venturing out into the world and being around people of all ages, and I definitely started to get triggered for sure. If I wasn't at home already and didn't remember it, I definitely did around that time. Okay.

Adeel [11:55]: Yeah. Gotcha. And, uh, and so it was like, it was, it was at school that was kind of triggering a lot or, uh, I've really tried to, to, you know, dig back in my memories and I don't remember.

Samantha [12:09]: Uh, I know like if, you know, kids were tapping their pencils or something like that, that would be annoying. I don't remember being like strongly triggered back in high school or anything. gotcha okay and so um and so yeah so he was kind of venturing out in the world when you when you started to be like oh my god this is this is uh yeah yeah yeah i do i do remember always disliking the sound of a clock ticking i don't know that it caused me the fight or flight reaction but i've never liked that sound and i remember since i was a young kid not liking that sound

Adeel [12:50]: Yeah, I mean, to this day, if I see a clock in a room, I'll smother it with a jacket or something. Yes! Somehow I still hear it a little bit, but yeah. Me too. So, um, and so did, uh, so did your, did your triggers basically start to, I mean, obviously they started with things at home. Did they start to expand in terms of the number of triggers as you were kind of growing, growing up into the Delta?

Samantha [13:19]: Um, for sure. Um, yeah, the, the older I've gotten, the worse it's gotten and it, yeah, it's awful. I wouldn't say I have the most severe case of those I've heard their experiences, but it's definitely not mild. It's pretty taxing on me, day-to-day life. But yeah, the triggers definitely have grown in number and color and variety.

Adeel [13:54]: And visual, too, I'm imagining.

Samantha [13:57]: Yes, visual triggers are very much a thing for me.

Adeel [14:01]: And so what do you... And is your reaction usually... Yeah, I guess let's talk about coping mechanisms. You got a great one there with the earpiece. Obviously, you're listening to a lot of music. Is it... Are you able to leave a lot of situations that you find yourself in based on maybe family members knowing about it or friends knowing about it? Or is it like a daily exhaustion of like... having to bottle things in.

Samantha [14:31]: Lately, it's not a daily thing. And really, being self-employed helps a lot. And having those earplugs helps. But the sister closest to me in age has received a lot of calls or text messages of me hiding in a closet, crying in the bathroom, uh well outside in the stairwell just like on the verge of tears sometimes crying um mad frustrated uh just at my wits end not knowing what to do because I didn't always know what was going on. I didn't know it had a name. I didn't know if I was being overly sensitive, if I was just having extreme anxiety, which I usually do, anxiety and depression. I didn't know what exactly was the cause that was causing such a strong physical reaction and mental. the fight or flight thing is very real. And usually as, as we do, we, we flee, we don't usually speak up for ourselves. Um, so I, I definitely used to do a lot more of that.

Adeel [15:55]: Yeah. You told me, uh, in, in, uh, kind of a written, written exchanges that, uh, you're, uh, I believe also have, uh, uh, I don't know, is it a diagnosis being a highly sensitive person?

Samantha [16:06]: Yeah, so I came across that several years ago. It's a book by Dr. Elaine Aaron, and thank you for bringing that up. I forgot about that. It's not a pathology. It's not like a... I would consider misophonia a pathological, right? Is that the right word? It's a diagnosis, basically.

Adeel [16:31]: Yes.

Samantha [16:31]: This is not a gift, whereas she explains that HSP is kind of a gift, a highly sensitive person. That's what she's nicknamed it, basically. She's coined it. But I think it has to do with... It's like neurological. Basically, the world is turned up for you. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be overstimulating. So it doesn't take as much beauty or sound or like physical touch to stimulate you. You feel things very deeply. So there's definitely an emotional aspect to it. really in a sensory aspect it's like the world is turned up and does that make sense

Adeel [17:21]: Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, yeah, a lot of creative people are, you know, very sensitive. Yeah, it doesn't take, you see, you feel more from the world around you, maybe.

Samantha [17:37]: Yeah, I hope I did. I hope I did that justice with my explanation, but I definitely identify with her work on that.

Adeel [17:46]: And was this something you, again, it's maybe trying to figure out timeline of when you realized that Misophonia was its own independent thing. It sounds like, you know, you had some, you're dealing with some other stuff before that. When, yeah, when did you find out that Misophonia was its own, was a thing, had a name?

Samantha [18:08]: I feel like it could have been like a Reader's Digest, like, blip of an article or I don't know, but and that that was maybe when I quite a bit before I started doing my own research. But I know for sure in 2017, like beginning of 2017, I was doing a whole bunch of research on all all the things. And Misophonia was one of them. I think I came across like what is it, the 3S

Adeel [18:41]: Oh, 4S, selective sound sensitivity syndrome, yeah.

Samantha [18:45]: I came across that in various, it seems like, precursors to what we know as misophonia now. I was looking up stuff about ASMR. And then another really cool thing, which I experience a lot, is called musical frisson, which is... I think frisson is like the French word for goosebumps. So it's like when you have such a strong emotional reaction to art or music or something beautiful, you get like that full-bodied chill bump thing. And so I was just kind of researching a lot or reading a lot about stuff like that. And I think it was sometime... in that arena of time that I came across Quiet, Please.

Adeel [19:31]: Right, the documentary, yeah.

Samantha [19:33]: Yeah, and I instantly bought it on, I think it was the Play Store, and I watched it, and I was, like, just in tears because these people understood exactly what I was going through, and it was done in such a great way. I really love that documentary. And I think I instantly had my mom watch it with me and one of my sisters. I wish everybody could watch it to know kind of what it's like for us.

Adeel [20:05]: Absolutely.

Samantha [20:05]: And it's not just us and we're not just like acting, you know, like being too sensitive or crazy or just get over it.

Adeel [20:15]: Yeah, exactly. Or, oh yeah, everybody's annoyed by those sounds. Why don't you just get over it?

Samantha [20:23]: they uh when when you when they saw this quiet place um i'm pretty sure i watched it with my mom uh i know because there was one guy who really hated clocks and i think his mom got rid of him for him and i was like mom you need to get rid of your clock i hate it and she she's so like oh she still won't get rid of that clock when i come over but Um, I don't think it really honestly had too much of an impact on her, but I watched it with the sister closest to me in age and, and, uh, I mean, I don't remember anything outstanding. She watched it and she's like, yeah, that sucks. I mean, she has it too, but, um. It wasn't too impactful, I don't think.

Adeel [21:10]: So she has it too, but did she kind of own it? Does she talk about it like the way you're talking about it?

Samantha [21:18]: She owns it, but I think, I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I think primarily she views me as having it.

Adeel [21:25]: Oh, let's put words in her mouth.

Samantha [21:27]: Okay, okay. She definitely feels like she gets the brunt of my rage because I... have clearly comfortable enough to tell her, uh, can you stop? I mean, but like doing, doing what she's doing. And, and again, it's nothing usually too obnoxious. Uh, it's just normal noises. But, um, I, I have found that maybe not so much with her, but like usually, usually I don't want to eat in front of people because I like, especially if it's like something really loud or, um, maybe slimy. I don't want to eat it. Cause I have like, I don't know what that's called, but I know that they couldn't care less, but I don't want to do it because it's causing me anxiety. Cause I know how I would feel if I had to hear it. Does that make sense?

Adeel [22:16]: Yeah, it does make sense. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, um, I don't, I don't know if there's even a word, I don't even know how to describe it, but I, yeah, you, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't bother them, but just, it's just another layer of, of stress. Like, yeah. Yeah.

Samantha [22:33]: Yeah, and then while I'm thinking about it, one of your previous guests, I think his name was Timothy. Is that right? Yeah, I've had a couple of Tims. Oh, really?

Adeel [22:43]: Yeah, well, Tim, well, I had one very recently, and then Tim Monroe, I think, is...

Samantha [22:50]: I'll cut that I don't want to put people's last names in but uh but uh yeah Tim is a student um I think in Missouri but uh yeah so uh I don't I think you were advertising it or on your Instagram account and that he was doing some kind of survey oh yeah he did yeah so we both did that um and I actually need to do the follow-up that was like in February but um so yeah she definitely identifies enough to uh

Adeel [23:20]: have done the the survey and she did the follow-up too so she needs to get on here as a guest yes yes so i guess um yeah so day to day now uh you know you're some of your friends so are you you're basically stuck at home i guess like everybody else are you uh um you're still going out to do jobs now um or is it kind of yeah no no i i still have my jobs and it's really just me and

Samantha [23:49]: go and do my thing and come back home for the most part.

Adeel [23:53]: Yeah. And, um, and I guess, uh, yeah. And then like socializing, you haven't, uh, um, have you been kind of, uh, how, how has that been? Do you live with anybody right now or, um,

Samantha [24:08]: Just my two cats and me. Yeah.

Adeel [24:10]: Yeah. Okay. Well, that's kind of, that's kind of, that's kind of, you know, a lot of people are, a lot of people said, oh, it's great to work from home during quarantine. Other people are like, now I'm stuck with like a room, you know, a house full of my giant family and it's terrible.

Samantha [24:26]: Oh, that, that I could foresee that happening and I would hate it.

Adeel [24:30]: Right. Yeah. So, yeah, some people are like, this is, you know, this is great. You know, they're stuck at home. I guess, you know, well, unless you easily get lonely, I guess it's a good thing.

Samantha [24:44]: It definitely has its pros and cons for sure.

Adeel [24:47]: And so have you ever seen any professionals about misophonia in particular or, you know, therapists or whatnot and mentioned misophonia?

Samantha [25:02]: Not exactly. I do remember listening to a podcast where either the guest or yourself were saying that you just, well, I think you said that you just want it in your medical records, right?

Adeel [25:16]: yeah yeah yeah other people have done the same thing independently but yeah i just wanted to even if i was going to get the blank stare it was going to be yeah just here's how to spell it write it down if it shows up in a search engine in the future that helps somebody else or helps research helps get the cure absolutely so as soon as i heard that i was i was going back and like

Samantha [25:36]: february for my you know annual checkup and i was like at the end of the appointment i was like um i don't expect you to do anything about this i just want you to put it down and i explained to him what misophonia was in a nutshell and he acted like really intrigued he's always very receptive to you know hearing new things and i think it's interesting for doctors when patients actually do their own research sometimes yeah but but i told him about it he didn't know what it was he hadn't heard of it And he said he'd look into it, but he, I'm assuming, put it in my records. And other than that, that's all I've ever done as far as seeking out any kind of medical anything.

Adeel [26:17]: Right, right, yeah. Yeah, and that's kind of the extent most people go. And we're usually either surprised or not surprised by the reaction because it's either a total blank stare or it's a rare that somebody, you know, a therapist kind of runs with and is like, oh, yeah, here's a bunch of amazing therapies to try or things to do. It's usually never heard of it or just kind of a... Yeah, I do have a friend that I've seen...

Samantha [26:48]: a handful of times over the years and she would definitely be receptive to it. And I'm sure she'd tell me, you know, maybe do some grounding work or get the heck out of there or, you know, whatever she would be receptive, but I just never really told her about it.

Adeel [27:02]: Um, yeah.

Samantha [27:05]: Yeah. Did you say she's a, she's a therapist or she's got so many qualifications, but, but yeah, I would just overall, I would call her a therapist. Um, She's very open to stuff like that.

Adeel [27:22]: Has she ever heard of misophonia by any chance? I don't think so.

Samantha [27:28]: I've never asked her or talked to her about it.

Adeel [27:32]: Other than your sister, have you run into other people that have misophonia?

Samantha [27:38]: Yes. I have come across two people that I know in my real life who have it. I don't think they knew that they did, but by me expressing how I felt or what I was going through, they were like, one specifically, she was like, oh my gosh, I have that. I didn't know. My husband thinks I'm insane. Stop chewing that or stop eating that way or whatever. Yeah. And I kind of let her know, like, that's misophonia. I'm really sorry you have that. I know what you're going through.

Adeel [28:19]: Did that bring you closer to that person? Or it was just something you had in common?

Samantha [28:24]: Yeah, I mean, probably. We don't talk all the time. But, yeah, I think. it was kind of like an aha moment for her. Like there's, there's a name, you know? Oh, it was, she was looking at my Pinterest boards and she's like, I saw this thing on Pinterest. And I'm like, Hey, that was my board.

Adeel [28:41]: Oh, you have a Misa board.

Samantha [28:43]: Oh, I sure do. It's called my private hell.

Adeel [28:47]: Perfect. Yeah. I'll have to, is it public or is it private?

Samantha [28:51]: Um, I can make it public again.

Adeel [28:53]: Okay. Yeah. No, if you don't want to, I mean, no, I don't mind. I look for links to put in the show notes to maybe help people. So if you wanted to, yeah, that'd be, that'd be cool to, um, I'm assuming what I have is basically tons of headphones and, uh, maybe some memes here and there or, Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, that might be helpful. And you said that she heard how you were kind of talking about or expressing it. How do you kind of describe it in your real life?

Samantha [29:27]: Oh, man.

Adeel [29:29]: Because you know how we usually have to be diplomatic or we have to use, you know, we have to describe it in ways that we don't need to describe it to each other because we know what we're feeling.

Samantha [29:38]: Yeah, like... My spiel, I mean, I don't know exactly how. I mean, I've told a handful of people, so I don't really know how I told them. But I would explain it as a neurological condition that you cannot help. I would say that exposure therapy is not a thing that works for people with misophonia. I've tried to my own demise. Right. It could be any number of noises that are just normal everyday noises. Usually there will be mouth or eating triggers for people. It causes an extreme fight or flight reaction. Also rage and disgust. I'm speaking from my own disposition. You've got to get out of there. You've got to make it stop. You've got to get rid of the cause. I've listened to all of the different guests so far and I'm intrigued how some of them are like you know it's so hard having it I don't even go there explaining it to people and then other people are really advocates for themselves which I aspire to be more so for myself is telling people hey I have this issue and you know I experience these things and You know, maybe if you're around me, I would really love if you could be mindful of these things. But yeah, I kind of try to make notes of each guest to kind of learn from them and how to advocate for myself.

Adeel [31:22]: It's amazing. Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, it's so exhausting trying not to think about this, that the idea of like, you know, thinking about explaining it to somebody just feels like, I don't need that, you know, an extra layer of exhaustion. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Samantha [31:43]: I think I mentioned before, like, I wonder what the world sounds like to people without misophonia. On the flip side, it's like I wish just for a moment or a day people could hear what the world sounds like for us. Because I've pointed out noises or things before, like maybe not even something someone was doing, but a noise that was happening in the environment. And someone would just be like, oh, I didn't even hear that. Now I hear it. Thanks. You know, stuff like that.

Adeel [32:17]: Right.

Samantha [32:19]: I think a lot more empathy would be, uh, shown for sure. Or understanding.

Adeel [32:25]: Absolutely. Um, yeah, that's, uh, that's so interesting that, yeah, yeah. Um, hopefully you're getting some insights, taking notes.

Samantha [32:34]: Um, Oh yeah.

Adeel [32:36]: For sure. On the podcast. Yeah. There's been a, I try to get a diverse crew and yeah, there has been a lot of, There's been a lot of similarities, obviously, but a lot of interesting insights from people all over the world.

Samantha [32:48]: Yeah, you're doing a great service, I was going to say. But it almost feels like a gift. Each episode feels like a gift. It takes your time and you're organizing and all that. But it's really nice to be able to... I feel like because it's so intimate, like one on one conversation, getting to know these people and being like, yep, I do that. Or, yeah, I totally understand. And I mean, sometimes I've even like cried because some of their some of the guest stories are just so emotional. And it's like, I feel it.

Adeel [33:20]: Yeah. Yeah, Lyle was a dude. He was one of the first episodes. He was kind of probably the main person that kind of inspired this. He's someone I talked to a lot at the last convention last year. He's had it since the 60s.

Samantha [33:34]: Yes, I think I was crying listening to his experiences.

Adeel [33:39]: Yeah, I can't imagine. Great, great dude. Great guy. And you, so you mentioned, hey, we're, I guess we're, you know, we're heading to, you know, we've got maybe 10, 15 minutes left. But I did want to, you did mention, you had, I guess, you had mentioned ASMR at one point and then you said you had tried exposure therapy to your demise. Was this kind of stuff that you read, was this when you were doing your research and you're like, oh, this sounds like a potential thing. I'll just try to, or did somebody say, try this?

Samantha [34:13]: Yeah. So no, nobody said try this. So there's not just a whole lot on the internet about misophonia. I'm sure you are aware of that. Like these odd little studies, like I look up the scientific papers and they're like three paragraphs long and they say, Oh, we, we tried sound exposure, uh, you know, whatever.

Adeel [34:34]: And we press play and then we press stop. And then we watched the person. Yeah.

Samantha [34:40]: We watched them die a quick death.

Adeel [34:44]: Then we went for lunch and yeah, there's not a lot of research, but there there's, there's more coming up, which is exciting.

Samantha [34:50]: I would, yeah, I would say it's a growing field for sure. But, um, I, so yeah, I, I, I came across like sound exposure or whatever that exposure therapy idea. So I really tried that, and it doesn't work. I just kind of made myself sick trying to do it, like self-experiment, like guinea pig type of thing. But you mentioned ASMR. So I have some friends who are like, go back before ASMR was like, known by everybody and their grandma and all these little kids. And so I was kind of intrigued by this and I kind of, uh, I, I, I have experienced the, I don't know the technical term, but being triggered by SMR, um, specific things, but as more as, as it's gained, you know, popularity, I've tried watching some of these videos cause people watch them to go to sleep and to relax. and it it sends me physically through the roof like i'm out of there like i can't i can't i cannot deal with it um it's such a misophonia trigger so i've i keep looking for ones that possibly won't and that may be soothing but so far i haven't really found one if any of the other misophonia people know of

Adeel [36:26]: some i would be curious to see what they are but um i had a friend who was oh no go ahead no i was gonna say most people who've mentioned they tried it had yeah same reaction uh i think yeah they were one or two that uh maybe a like a one couple things but i have just yeah it's almost it's pretty much overwhelmingly negative

Samantha [36:49]: Oh my God, it's so extremely stressful.

Adeel [36:53]: When I first heard the term, I was just like, I'm not even going to bother finding out what this is because it's like, nope. This cannot possibly be good.

Samantha [37:05]: Yeah, danger, danger. I did have a friend, apparently she really liked this video of a woman eating a pickle. She's like, y'all have got to see this. And I guess it was labeled an ASMR video. I mean, before she even finished, like, chomping down on the pickle, I literally was across the room. It was so upsetting. And I think I screamed, too. I scream a lot. Not, like, in anger, but, like, out of, like, oh, like I'm scared. It was awful. It was really awful.

Adeel [37:45]: Well, on that note of the pickle, yeah, I mean, is there any, you know, obviously you've been listening to a lot of episodes. Thank you. And taking notes, is there kind of maybe people, you know, and we're kind of, I don't know, I guess I'm in the middle of the second season, so I'm getting a lot of new... Melissa, is there anything you want to tell people out there who are listening, who maybe have just found out about what it is, having similar experiences? Anything you kind of want to tell folks?

Samantha [38:20]: Let me pull from the depths of my wisdom. No, let's see. No, no. Here's my moment. I guess what I say is there hope? Is that cliche? There are dozens of us. That's an Arrested Development quote. We need to stand together. No, please cut all this out.

Adeel [38:49]: I hate it.

Samantha [38:52]: I can't think of anything. I'm so sorry. I would say definitely find some people that you can... share your experiences with and what is going on whether it's in the misophonia community you know maybe someone you you know online or a friend or a parent or a sister or something um so that it is helpful to have one or two people who know what you're going through and just vent venting i think is very important um having some coping mechanisms like misophonia is not going anywhere. If you have it, I don't know of anybody who's been able to get rid of it. Although maybe one or two of the guests, I think they said it's lessened with age, maybe. Is that something?

Adeel [39:47]: I don't remember anyone on top of my head saying that. Okay.

Samantha [39:52]: Don't quote me on that. But definitely find some healthy coping mechanisms and be your own advocate, be your own advocate, be tactful and be kind, but, uh, you know, be strong for yourself.

Adeel [40:07]: Yeah, no, that's great. Be tactful, be kind because, uh, we all want to run or fight, but, uh, that can, um, often make a situation more stressful, which as we know, stress exacerbates this. So, um, it's important to keep that in mind as well.

Samantha [40:25]: Yeah. And if you know something's going to be stressful, um, Kind of just prepare for that. Get out of there.

Adeel [40:32]: Prepare your brain in advance. Yeah, if you can get out, that's great. If you can't, try to calm your brain down before going in.

Samantha [40:41]: Yes. Yeah, I would say those are some good starters.

Adeel [40:46]: Great. Well, Samantha, thanks again for coming on and being such a great guest and great listener. And I know I owe you, I think, a couple more stickers for your sister. So I'd love to do that.

Samantha [41:02]: I'm so thankful to have been a guest and to have found your podcast even more so. And yeah, I really appreciate what you do and all the others who are kind of leading the way. I really appreciate it.

Adeel [41:16]: Thank you so much, Samantha. Sorry again, guys, for the late episode this week. Don't forget to check out the miso list at misolist.com. We'll be back here on Wednesday next week. You can always email me, hello at misophoniapodcast.com or on Instagram and Facebook at Misophonia Podcast, Twitter at Misophonia Show. Music is by Moby. And as always, wishing you peace and quiet.