Vivien - Teen filmmaker sparks family understanding

Adeel [0:00]: Welcome to the Misophonia Podcast. This is Season 3, Episode 18. My name is Adeel Ahmad, and I have Misophonia. Today, I'm really excited to bring you my conversation with Vivian. Some of you may be familiar with Vivian. In 2019, while still in high school, she took it upon herself to produce an excellent documentary about Misophonia. featuring interviews with providers of therapy and coping, as well as teenagers who have misophonia, some of whom have been interviewed on this podcast. It's called Breaking the Sound Barrier, and you can find it by searching on YouTube, or there will be a link here in the show notes. I talked to Vivian about the documentary, obviously, but also her own miso story, what it's like to now enter college during a pandemic and misophonia. plus her hopes for our community. If you want to talk about the documentary, feel free to join the discussion on social media under this episode at Misophonia Podcast on Instagram and Facebook or Misophonia Show on Twitter. All right, let's just get to my conversation with Vivian. I want to say, Vivian, welcome to the podcast. It's good to finally have you here.

Vivien [1:15]: Yeah, thank you for having me. Very excited.

Adeel [1:19]: yeah so we um i think we bumped into each other i think at one of the conventions um and you know we'll talk about a bunch of a bunch of stuff there do you want to maybe let us know kind of roughly where you're located yeah so i'm originally from los angeles but i'm currently um in berkeley california because i'm a college student so i'm staying on campus right now Cool. Okay, so you're at UC Berkeley. Yes. Oh, I'm assuming you're at UC Berkeley.

Vivien [1:51]: Yeah, yeah.

Adeel [1:51]: Yeah, why don't you tell us kind of what you're doing, what you're studying at Berkeley.

Vivien [1:57]: So this is my first semester, but I'm planning to study psychology. That's my sort of trajectory as of now.

Adeel [2:07]: Yeah. Okay. And so I guess, yeah, maybe we should talk about just a little bit about your first semester there. Were you, and you know, you're obviously on a new campus away from home, away kind of from what's familiar to you. How has that been? And obviously like the whole COVID thing's another crazy dimension. How has that transition been for you?

Vivien [2:31]: um it's been a lot better than i expected i mean i was quarantined at home for months so it was really really nice to finally get out and kind of experience something new and um the area is like obviously not how it usually would be and neither is the experience but i'm really having a good time um there's quite a bit to do around here and um I've got to meet a lot of really nice people so far. So I'm having a good time.

Adeel [3:02]: So you're actually on campus, like in a dorm?

Vivien [3:05]: Yes, I am. We don't have any in-person class.

Adeel [3:09]: Got it. So you're on campus in a dorm. You're obviously socializing. So are there kind of less people around then?

Vivien [3:17]: Yeah, for sure. All of the dorms are like singles, so I don't have a roommate or anything. And we have to social distance with everyone, but it's still like,

Adeel [3:26]: were able to meet people so yeah it's like definitely not the traditional experience but it's something so i'm just grateful for that yeah it's kind of interesting it's it could be you know for for us misos it's maybe a little bit in some ways better because it's all single dorms um yeah and you are you don't just it's not a huge cacophony um less partying less more social distancing might be kind of maybe a blueprint to how MISOs should kind of transition into college and into other situations going forward.

Vivien [4:08]: I've been thinking about that a lot. Especially with the classes, it's just so nice to have all the other students muted unless they're talking. But it's so much less distracting and Honestly, since getting here, my misophonia has been practically non-existent, which is like crazy for me because like, obviously I'm not around people as much, but most of my triggers were with family members. So now that I'm not living at home, that's also a big change in a kind of a positive way. So yeah, in that regard, there's like this whole social distancing college thing has worked out quite well.

Adeel [4:54]: Yeah, I mean, who would have thought that if you told us at one of those conventions a couple of years ago that you could go to college and there could be nobody around, no classes, but you're still kind of like getting your degree at the end. Yeah. Like you're, you know, you're shitting me. But it's kind of interesting. It's kind of weird. It's like you're wearing a kind of a miso simulation of potential, you know, ideal societies. um so yeah so i guess maybe we'll come back to college in a second but i'm curious since you mentioned um you know family life uh for a lot of us family is the kind of the initial triggers um yeah so yeah why don't we go all the way back like uh what did you first kind of notice this um so like my mom always claims that i've had it forever but i really don't believe her and i feel like my first memory of it is um

Vivien [5:52]: like driving to school with my dad in middle school, so like sixth grade. And I was just like, really irritated by the sound of his breathing. And he would also sniffle a lot. So yeah, that just became a miserable experience every single day. And then just started kind of getting worse from there. And more and more things started building up as they do.

Adeel [6:17]: Yeah, cars are rough. I've had conversations with people about that where their initial trigger, well, I won't say initial, but some of their earliest memories are friends or family members in a car and you can't get out. You know, it's kind of like your trap is kind of one of the worst case scenarios. So I could imagine going to school, maybe, you know, these days cars are... either they try to advertise that cars are super quiet, so it's even worse. It's even more noticeable. Oh, gosh, yeah. Quiet cars are the worst. Yeah, I know. And so, yeah, why can't we? Yeah, maybe we should all just get convertibles. That would be great for misos for the convertibles. So at that point, did things then start to proliferate through junior high and into high school at home?

Vivien [7:17]: Yeah, I'd say that the worst point was definitely within middle school. Obviously, that's a hard time for everyone with all the... hormonal changes and just nobody has a good time in middle school at least from my experience but for me like misophonia was definitely the biggest challenge and i think um when you're first like dealing with it and not knowing what it is um and trying to like convey your experience to the people around you it's really hard for them to understand and um obviously they end up taking things personally when you ask them to stop doing things and So that caused a lot of distress, I'd say, for a while. But I think over time, like into high school, things got a lot better. So, I mean, yeah, I think that's a common experience, though.

Adeel [8:10]: Yeah, so they got a lot better for you at home in high school then? Was it because you were able to articulate it well to your family, or at least start to articulate it better?

Vivien [8:22]: yeah i'd say a big um thing was that i was kind of able to provide evidence that misophonia is real and i'm not just being like an annoying or like just making things up which i think um a lot of people have trouble kind of proving to people that yes this is actually a disorder But as I was able to do that, my parents started taking me seriously and being more empathetic. So definitely.

Adeel [8:51]: Right. So, yeah, I keep sometimes I just kind of forget because I went to high school in the early 90s when there was no awareness at all. But yeah, but yeah, you mean you're I don't want to say I don't say lucky, but it's great to see people like you advocating and looking around, researching and are able to provide evidence to your family members that this is a real thing. So that's great.

Vivien [9:20]: Yeah, like I think over the past few years, the amount of information out there has just exponentially increased because I remember being like 11 or 12 and like looking things up and finding only a few things out there. And they were all like really like, well, yes, there's this thing called misophonia, but there's nothing you can do about it. Sorry. So. Honestly, I'm really glad to see the awareness being really, like, especially recently, more prominent.

Adeel [9:52]: So were students and friends not kind of major triggers for you? Was it really kind of maybe localized to primarily the home?

Vivien [10:01]: I'd say I definitely had more triggers at home, but there were also instances outside, for sure, especially at school. Thankfully, it did not get in the way of social interactions very much. I'd say just minor distractions in the classroom and just making day-to-day situations more uncomfortable, but not unmanageable. So I'd say the largest effect was on my familial relationships.

Adeel [10:33]: I guess the one advantage of high school is there's so much going on, so much changing. You're always moving around, whereas... in uh at home you're like in a room with a bunch of people or in a car and it's a lot more static um yeah the escape from school is not not much of an escape if you're sometimes it feels like a trap yeah um so and obviously it didn't start to affect your i was kind of asked to start to affect your grades but you're you're sitting here at berkeley so obviously you've done quite well for yourself so far that's great yeah thankfully it did not um

Vivien [11:09]: affect me in that regard. I think I got lucky.

Adeel [11:13]: So did your family, families try to, I mean, did you go to see any professionals, audiologists, therapists for Miso?

Vivien [11:23]: Yeah, I did, you know, like pretty much instantly once my family started noticing that like our relationships were being affected by it, they're like, okay, we need to get some professional help here. And the unfortunate thing was that nobody that I saw knew about misophonia. So it was kind of like working with a blank slate and they were just kind of trying to figure out some type of way to like make it a little better. But I've never really found anyone who can, like who's, well at least anyone that I've seen professionally who had prior knowledge of the disorder.

Adeel [12:02]: Yeah, so when you told them about it, did they at least do their own research or was it kind of a, uh-huh, uh-huh, kind of lackadaisical response?

Vivien [12:13]: Yeah, you know, I think most of them just went off of my personal experience with it and kind of used their background knowledge of psychology to, like, make recommendations, I guess. Although, like, I think just in general, talking to someone, even if they can't make the reaction to the trigger less painful, it's still really helpful for like managing other aspects of life. And clearly I'm a fan of the field of psychology since I'm planning to study it. So. Yeah.

Adeel [12:50]: You're going to rock it. Yeah. You're going to revolutionize you so in psychology. So take a few notches. So, but did you get anything useful? Maybe you or, and or your family members in how you can, and how you were able to then deal with it together?

Vivien [13:10]: I'd say, Yeah. Like in terms of how I expressed my, um, like for instance, asking my mom to stop chewing gum, like instead of being super, um, reactive and angry in my response, like trying to be a little more understanding of like where, um, like how it is for my parents. And I'd say definitely just in general, having someone to talk to you about it is it just makes it like talking to someone is really just a nice experience. I think.

Adeel [13:45]: Yeah. I mean, that's, that's one of the great things about the convention. Uh, one reason why I do this is to kind of show people that we're just talking about a one-on-one and not, um, not just reading a, you know, um, a couple of two sentence rant on Facebook, which might be helpful for, for that person. Um, definitely we encourage that we can't do any communication, but, um, kind of a deeper, more holistic, um, look at a conversation with somebody is super helpful, I think.

Vivien [14:16]: I 100% agree with that.

Adeel [14:18]: So I guess, yeah, maybe let's talk about, I don't know, let's talk about your choice to choose psychology. I'll go out on a limb and say it was maybe a little bit related to your experience with misophonia. Is that maybe a correct statement?

Vivien [14:36]: Yeah, so my experience with misophonia introduced me to the idea of mental health and my own struggle with it showed me like how important and big a role it plays in people's lives. And I wanted to be able to make a difference in that area. And I think psychology is kind of a major way of doing that. And I also just really think it's an interesting topic, but that's kind of unrelated.

Adeel [15:07]: Yeah, no, it's, well, I think, yeah, I think that's, I think it's definitely related. It's, it's, I personally find it interesting not, well, I'd find mental health and healthy helping people interesting in general, but also just the fact that misophonia is I think so widespread and under diagnosed and kind of the underdog. And that's always interesting, even from a non, non-medical perspective. So that's one reason I want to give it a voice. It's just like, this is, you know, this is, this is a fast. And I think, and I think maybe, you know, maybe at this point, maybe we talk about, you know, the breaking the sound barrier project that you, that you did. Do you want to maybe touch on that?

Vivien [15:54]: yeah for sure so um breaking the sound barrier it's uh i guess you could say a short documentary film i made uh last summer so 2019 about teens with misophonia specifically like how they cope with it and how it affects them so i was inspired to make that mainly because um I just was really taken aback by the lack of information out there, especially positive information like that shows, oh, it's possible to live a good, happy life with misophonia. And I also just wanted to share people's voices because I really felt like there was a lack of, you know, community surrounding misophonia. And a lot of us feel really alone. That's kind of one of the hardest parts of

Adeel [16:46]: this condition at least absolutely yeah yeah we feel alone we feel like we've bottled something up for so long we feel um it's almost i don't know i'm kind of ranting off feelings that i feel and i've heard other people feel yeah it's just exhausting to even think about trying to talk to somebody about it sometimes because we're so yeah we're so felt like it's it should be dismissed and minimized and it's just an annoyance and uh you know all these things contribute to just it's taxing on the brain and yeah and i think it's yeah projects like this are great especially aimed at young people to kind of let them know that um Yeah, you know, you can you can move on and it does get better. Yeah, you can start to take more control over your environment. So, yeah, do you want to? Well, obviously, we'll have links to it too in the show notes. But how did you how did that? Yeah. And you see your motivation, but maybe talk about maybe some of the, you know, the people that kind of maybe were in it or kind of were affected by by the project.

Vivien [17:56]: Yeah, for sure. So this project was definitely like a journey for me. It took quite a while to get it like started. I reached out to so many different people like asking for advice on what to do or because I just wanted to do something to benefit the Misophonia community. I wasn't sure what. initially.

Adeel [18:19]: Did you have a background in filmmaking before or was it something you just took it upon yourself to do?

Vivien [18:29]: Well, my background in filmmaking was very informal. Like when I was little, I used to make movies with my friends and I always loved it. So I really had a desire to do something related to that. And also just something in me was like, yeah, I really want to make a movie. That would be fun.

Adeel [18:46]: Yeah.

Vivien [18:46]: So And also, I feel like seeing someone and hearing them, it's just really a different experience than reading what someone's experience is, like hearing their voice physically, like on this podcast. It really kind of conveys the story in a more heartfelt and human way, I guess.

Adeel [19:09]: And humorous sometimes too, which is a great coping mechanism. I try to let people be themselves and we try to laugh as much as possible. And that's just something nice to hear, I think.

Vivien [19:21]: Yeah, for sure. So I kind of wanted to make something that would have helped me when I was a 12-year-old girl, just like desperate for some type of source of hope for... Dealing with misophonia this new thing that I was experiencing and I felt like nobody understood me, but if I had seen something like like breaking the sound barrier I wouldn't have felt so alone and I would have felt like. wow maybe this is something that it's possible to overcome or just to live and be okay with misophonia so that's kind of the message I wanted to convey and. I decided that interviewing teens would be a really good way to show how real people have dealt with this condition. And just hearing the voices of other teens, for someone who's going through this, it can be really helpful.

Adeel [20:29]: Yeah. And have you, yeah, this is, you know, just released last summer. Have you maybe followed up with anybody who was in it and kind of talked to them about how they're doing?

Vivien [20:42]: Yeah. So finding other people with misophonia, especially because I couldn't travel so far to do the interviews. So everyone had to be in California. It was, it took quite a while and I had to do a bunch of like, scavenging online and on like facebook groups and instagram pages and i thought that was a really fun process getting to like meet other people with musophonia i had never met anyone else before um who had the condition so meeting such like a wide range of people in terms of age and um experience it was really really a beautiful experience for me and um Yeah. So a lot of the multiple people who I interviewed had been doing some kind of advocacy work on their own. Like Natalie, I believe she was on this podcast in her club at UCLA. Yeah. So I was also really inspired by what they were doing. And I just think it's really, it's really amazing that even though people might not know each other, others with misophonia, A lot of us are just doing some type of work to move the community forward. And I think that's really inspiring.

Adeel [21:58]: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, these are all inspiring. When I heard about the UCLA group, I was like, you know, just promoting as much as I could on Instagram. And anytime I talk to somebody who's in college, I'm like, you know, have you heard of that group? I mean, it would be great to have student groups all over the country. Yeah. uh or like little groups at uh at large companies too you know just yeah have it progress and just be a natural part of like uh of life so everybody can find find the group you know so they you join a company or you go to school and you're like okay first thing we're gonna do is find the misophonia group and that should be hopefully one day standard yeah um actually yeah have have you thought about i know it's a weird year but have you thought about doing something like that at berkeley

Vivien [22:46]: I definitely have. I definitely want to do some type of misophonia advocacy on campus. I think I need to wait a little while in terms of like, I mean, I guess I could start a club now, but it's just kind of odd with the pandemic and everything.

Adeel [23:01]: Um, but I think, I think you can get it together, uh, you know, start it, start it online. Obviously everything's starting online these days. Um, you'd obviously be the perfect, uh, leader or ring leader of the, uh, of the group because Dr., uh, because Dr. Johnson mentioned to me that, um, she's mentioned a bunch of times that, 30% of her clients with MISO are engineers, and with Berkeley being the big engineering and computer science school, I would imagine that you have a great, well, unfortunately, a large pool of MISO phones to pull from, but hopefully people help.

Vivien [23:41]: Yeah. I'm always so interested to realize just how many people are struggling with this and don't realize it. I mean, I know that the statistics are always varied about like what percentage of the population has misophonia, but it's definitely significant. And I think it's just so crazy that it's taken so long for it to get sort of like any type of awareness in the media and in people's general knowledge.

Adeel [24:07]: It's kind of interesting to think about, um, you know, as an advocacy angle might be like, hey, this could really help not just, you know, students do well in school, but potentially companies that are hiring those students be able to attract, you know, better talent and retain better talent.

Vivien [24:31]: Yeah, that's very true.

Adeel [24:33]: To kind of affect the bottom line. So I would think that That might be something that maybe budding psychologists like yourself could think about. Maybe own that thought leadership and maybe profit from it and change the world at the same time.

Vivien [24:52]: No, I definitely agree. That's a really good idea. like based on the response i got to my film in terms of like comments i received and people who reached out to me i was just amazed at how big of an impact it can have just to feel like understood and feel like you can relate to someone so like starting clubs is a perfect way to do that in terms of like meeting other people who are going through similar experiences and being able to talk about it just feeling understood in that ways clearly like very, very helpful for people like us.

Adeel [25:30]: Yeah. And there's things you can, you know, there's ways you can, there's things you can talk about with people who are actually around you that can help more than just kind of a random person from across the world. Like you can talk about which restaurants are, you know, terrible to go to as a musophone and, and you know, these, that, that having that, you know, knowing you can have that connection or near you, I think is super, super helpful. Yeah. And one thing, I guess, since you're starting here, so has basically, have you found that like a lot of people's stress is like a large factor? And are you thinking about like how to maybe reduce stress or keep a handle on stress as you're going, as you're beginning your degree here?

Vivien [26:18]: So, like, you mean, do I think, like, how I'm managing stress at college, or?

Adeel [26:23]: Yeah, because, you know, stress tends to kind of, like, for a lot of people, at least, it kind of exacerbates triggers.

Vivien [26:31]: Yeah, no, for sure.

Adeel [26:33]: And, you know, you're starting out, it's like your first semester, you know, I would, you know, Hopefully not, but I would think that maybe as things get over more stressful towards exam times and, you know, later on, maybe second, third, fourth year that it could, you know, you're saying it's obviously you're starting off on a good foot with, you know, with It seems weird to say, but you're starting off on a good foot with this pandemic, kind of helping your experience. But, you know, it could get tougher, especially with stress. I'm wondering if you're kind of like trying to prepare for that or at least be aware of that and, you know, try to get a handle on that.

Vivien [27:14]: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, thankfully the transition to college has not been too – too hard so far like especially because of the unusual circumstances and how they somehow are really beneficial to people with misophonia but yeah stress is very important to um to be aware of and i i definitely am always working on my self-care routine um i've been trying to get into meditation i'm actually taking like a a seminar course this semester about meditation and neuroscience which has been really interesting so I think that's definitely an effective like clinically proven effective way to manage stress and I love going for walks around my semi-empty campus and listening to music I think alone time especially for people who have misophonia is very important and I love doing that in nature. I think being with myself in nature is one of my favorite ways of just de-stressing from everything else that's going on.

Adeel [28:27]: yeah you're definitely the campus is beautiful and just oh my gosh it's gorgeous yeah the general area just northern california at large yeah you know when it's uh when it's not burning down which is most of the most of the time it's totally fine um yeah oh gosh we did go through quite a long period of like having to stay indoors because of the snow uh the smoke Yeah, and do you have any other tools or armor, as I like to call it, that you use to cope generally? Earphones, earplugs, that kind of thing.

Vivien [29:05]: Yeah, I mean, everyone raves about white noise. I mean, that was just a revelation for me. But other than that, other than the basics, I'd say... one thing that I've really been trying to work on is like self-compassion and, um, being gentle with myself in regard to my misophonia. So like for a long time, I would constantly blame myself and feel like, Oh, I should just be able to control this. And I think a lot of that stems from the lack of awareness and lack of, um, understanding about the condition. So a lot of us feel like we're just making it up, but, um, like just reminding myself, like, you know, It's okay. You don't have to control this. Advocating for your needs is not unreasonable. Asking someone to stop making a certain trigger sound or leaving the room or putting in headphones, that's okay. I often felt guilty. For instance, if I put in my headphones during a meal, I'd feel like, well, I don't want to do this because it seems kind of rude, but that's a form of self-care and it's valid. And just catching myself when I'm saying something like, oh, I should be able to ignore this and just reminding myself that, no, like this is a valid condition and it's okay to not be okay in this case.

Adeel [30:38]: Yeah, you hit on a number of points that I'll just tell people. Just please rewind and listen to that again because a lot of us walk around with... guilt for the same reason we um yeah you because we've always like as you experienced have had um damaged i would say damaged relationships due to this and uh when no one acknowledges that it's a real thing we end up blaming ourselves yeah it just becomes a taxing thing and so it's um yeah it's important

Vivien [31:10]: to kind of uh listen to each other and realize that no this is this is a real thing and it's yeah it's helpful for everybody involved all parties to kind of take care of yourself and yeah you know like we really don't experience much compassion from the outside world in terms of misophonia at least that's the general experience that i've heard about and for that reason like it's all the more important to be compassionate to ourselves like be the ones we can rely on.

Adeel [31:42]: Yeah, absolutely. And, uh, you know, barring, uh, um, you know, an overly negative experience, I think people will hopefully come around and realize that it's, uh, that it's for their benefit as well. That, uh, it, it just doesn't help anybody to, um, you know, for, for us to be triggered and have to react. And then that just kind of, uh, bad situations worse. So, yeah.

Vivien [32:09]: Yeah, I mean, there are definitely people out there who are very understanding and a lot of like the major advocates for misophonia don't actually have the condition themselves. So I am very I very much admire those people who are empathetic and work to accommodate us. I think I definitely understand that it isn't easy to live with someone with misophonia because like. It's easy to take those kinds of things personally. So I definitely admire people who can be empathetic towards us as well.

Adeel [32:47]: Right. So you said that before you started on your project, you didn't know a lot of people who had MISO. So I guess, was last year's convention the first time you went to a convention?

Vivien [33:01]: Yeah, it was.

Adeel [33:02]: Okay. Because, yeah, so I guess for your project, that was the first time you'd, you said it was the first time you'd... kind of talk to anybody that had MISO, right?

Vivien [33:11]: Yeah, yeah.

Adeel [33:12]: Wow.

Vivien [33:12]: So before that, yeah, nobody, nobody else.

Adeel [33:17]: And so now is it, are you kind of like, now that your kind of name is out there, are people coming to you for advice and, and, you know, just somebody to talk to about MISO?

Vivien [33:28]: Actually, I definitely have had a lot of people reach out to me and I do, I do want to be able to help more people. I think, um, yeah i would love to talk to more people about this i actually haven't talked to so many but i'm a part of like a group chat on instagram with a bunch of people with misophonia so it's always nice to check in there and hear about everyone's experiences and rant when necessary but i do wish i had more people with misophonia to talk to in my life

Adeel [34:02]: Are you seeing any, yeah, maybe anything on other platforms? Or is it primarily Instagram that you've been participating in or seeing a trend?

Vivien [34:15]: I actually don't. I mean, I use Instagram as my main form of social media, so I'm not completely sure. I'd be interested to see if there's like a Misophonia community on Twitter or like, I don't know what else are the major... forms of communication these days but yeah i think i think the more um ways possible for people with misophonia to meet each other the better honestly and like i think having more group chats like that is would be a really good addition to like the coping tools um us people with misophonia have

Adeel [34:52]: yeah yeah basically um yeah you got your headphones on and then you got your phone where you can just kind of reach out for help yeah when when needed um that's yeah i mean 10 years ago none of this was uh possible very cool okay and so um yeah let's let's see um were you were you part of the uh the convention like a couple weeks ago um or i think it was like a remote one

Vivien [35:22]: I actually was not, honestly.

Adeel [35:25]: You have enough stuff going on, I guess, with school and everything.

Vivien [35:28]: Yeah, no, my life has been absorbed by academia these days. So I do want, like, once I start having more time, I really want to get back into the world of misophonia.

Adeel [35:40]: Maybe a sequel to Breaking the Sound Barrier?

Vivien [35:46]: Yeah, something like that. I do want to get involved more. The last year, unfortunately, right after Breaking the Sound Barrier, I was just swamped with college applications and all of that madness. So I haven't had much time to think about new projects to work on, but I am definitely wanting to do that. And especially since I'm studying psychology now, I'm hoping to involve Musophonia some way in that, especially in terms of if I'm able to get involved in research as an undergraduate and all of that type of thing, I'd love to do something related to Musophonia.

Adeel [36:32]: Well, yeah, I mean, it sounds like, and not to add, you know, work on your play but we've we've mentioned just in the last hour a bunch of interesting things you could do at berkeley starting that group yeah um maybe you're reaching out to um i mean i mean that could be a project itself just reaching out to the different departments and knowing that so many engineers um that could be a great first kind of uh group to go after um yeah try to there's plenty of stuff i think you can do on campus you know through academic academia and you know social group um um forums to kind of uh spread awareness and uh yeah get some ideas flowing on where to take this next And I would love to kind of maybe, yeah, after first year, after you've gone through the ringer in your freshman year, just to kind of maybe catch up later next year and see if you've been able to get back into the MISO community.

Vivien [37:29]: Yeah, for sure. No, I really want to do that. I've been like brainstorming for a while, so I'm glad we've discussed some of these ideas like of how I can continue my involvement in

Adeel [37:44]: going forward. Are there any other other things that you may have been, uh, that you're thinking about doing? Cause maybe people, uh, maybe people listening can like, uh, you know, could plant some seeds in their minds too, to take their schools.

Vivien [37:57]: You know, one of the things actually that I've been thinking about and trying to like get started, but, um, haven't really had much time to get too involved was like how I mentioned the group chats. I was thinking of like, um, maybe somehow finding a way to create more of them on other platforms because I'm pretty sure like the one I'm in it's kind of like for most people it'd be pretty difficult to figure out how to like join or like you have to know about the specific account and it's kind of like I'd say not super accessible so I was thinking of trying to expand group chats to like a bunch of different platforms so that like practically anyone who wants to join one can like do so in the way most convenient for them. I'm not really exactly sure like the specific details, but that was just something I thought could be helpful.

Adeel [38:53]: Yeah, maybe that's kind of a directory that if people want to, you know, taking new members or whatever can kind of like post a list or something. Yeah, that's something I might think about to put on our, put on the, the, the new Miss Funny Podcast website. I've been thinking of ways to have kind of resources and, you know, the Miss Funny Association has the list of, regional facebook groups and whatnot but um yeah i think it could be interesting to to have something like this um i've had a bunch of other ideas like you know having like a a yelp for me so like you can um leave reviews about you know oh that's really smart cafes or libraries on campus to avoid you know things like that so yeah well i i guess yeah we're running I definitely want to do a part two in about whatever, about a year or so. That'd be great. Maybe even sooner. But anything else right now that you'd like to kind of tell people or share with people who are listening?

Vivien [39:59]: I always just want to remind people that like, I know there's a lot of, it's really hard to struggle with this condition and understandably people feel the need to like, well, okay, let me rephrase that, like, it's really, really difficult dealing with this condition, and unfortunately, that's the reality of the situation, but there's definitely a bright side, and I am, like, for one, grateful for my misophonia, because I don't think I would be where I'm today without it, I think, ultimately, like, I know I talked about how it, like, it was hard on my relationship with my family, but I think in retrospect, it ended up making it stronger. Like I mentioned, initially my dad was my first trigger. So that was kind of the relationship which the most strain was put upon. But my dad was actually the one who drove me around to film for my documentary. So kind of, me in my car with my dad ended up being, um, a really good experience, you know, because I was making a difference. And I think just like with time, with experience, it's possible to turn our experiences with this condition into a really positive thing.

Adeel [41:28]: That's a beautiful, that's, uh, that's, that was just a beautiful story about you, about your, uh, Yeah, the relationship with your dad turning around. I couldn't help thinking not to put ideas in your head, but that might be a great sequel is to kind of like turn the camera to you and your family and see how that progression happened. Because I know a lot of, you know, there's a lot of people where that relationship does not improve. And so I think that's a beautiful story to share and to hear.

Vivien [42:02]: Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah, I guess I focused a lot on what it was like in the beginning, but now I have a really good relationship with my family in terms of my misophonia and they're super supportive and obviously there are bumps in the road, but I think they're like. I couldn't ask for more supportive parents.

Adeel [42:22]: That's fantastic. Well, let's, yeah, let's leave it on that, that positive note. And, uh, to say Vivian, thanks. Yeah. Thanks for, uh, thanks for coming on. It's good to get to finally talk to you for this.

Vivien [42:33]: And, uh, yeah, thank you for having me and thank you for doing this. This is like incredible.

Adeel [42:38]: No, no, this is, uh, yeah, this is at least I can do. And, uh, I think we're, we're both people who are, uh, rooting for misophones and just want to build a community. And I'm super excited to see what you'll end up doing through school and beyond to help all of us out. So thank you.

Vivien [43:00]: Yeah, thank you.

Adeel [43:02]: Thanks again, Vivian. Hey, if you're enjoying the podcast, please hit the five stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It really helps more people discover the podcast. Remember, you can drop me a line anytime at helloatmissiphoniapodcast.com. And we're here on Instagram or Facebook at Missiphonia Podcast or Twitter at Missiphonia Show. Music, as always, is by Moby. And until next week, wishing you peace and quiet.